All the Humorous Quotes!

Great Quotes from Montana State University

(and other places)

#include <std_disclaimer.h>

You asked for it! Here are all 1718 quotes from the database. Remember this will take a while to load, as the system gets all of them out and formats them for you - and while your browser downloads all of them to your local machine to display...

"...But, if you already have Macs, why did you get a machine to run Windows? The Mac is so much nicer!"
Microsoft Customer Support
March 1, 1996
at 3:45pm, MDT. I had been trying unsuccessfully to get Windows to install on a 486 for the Instructional Computing Lab on the MSU campus. This was the most helpful part of the help from the MS support team.

"Imagine your right hand is a wooden dowel, or even your right hand..."
Dr. Dick Smith
Physics 228, Honors Physics, MSU ~~ 1992
Everything looks the same to a physicist?

"Most people don't think that cool code is better than sex."
"Are you sure? Try comparing the amount of time and energy one puts into writing cool code to the amount one puts into getting laid."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Computer Science 222, Computer Science II, MSU ~~ 1992
Differences of opinion, I guess.

"I'm a mathematician; I'm not good with numbers."
Paul Johansen
Math 224, Calculus of Functions of Several Variables, MSU ~~ 1992
Um, right.

"You guys are supposed to find the application for this...I'm just a mathematician."
Paul Johansen
Math 224, Calculus of Functions of Several Variables, MSU ~~ 1992
Passing the buck.

"If he lies down on one nail...it's a bad day."
Dr. Dick Smith
Physics 228, Honors Physics, MSU ~~ 1992
In reference to the 'bed of nails' trick...

"Boltzmann's constant is constant."
Dr. Dick Smith
Physics 228, Honors Physics, MSU ~~ 1992

"But, if you're aware of the physics, you're not screwed up, you're just confused."
Dr. Dick Smith
Physics 228, Honors Physics, MSU ~~ 1992

"When I found out that 10 was greater than 5..."
Computer Science 222, Computer Science II, MSU ~~ 1992

"They call it Food Service so I'm assuming there is food around here somewhere."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
"Does that mean there is some service around, too?"
Ellen Kress
1992
At MSU Food Service...

"Klingons do not read Virginia Woolf."
Darin Oelkers
1992
Geeks and literature...

"There are no chickens in the fish tank, Jeff. You can't fool me."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
1992
to Jeff Abelin

"My breasts will be much better in the future."
Jeff Abelin
October 28, 1992
About his Halloween costume.

"I am going to get out the Play-Doh and do serious research."
Dr. Elizabeth Anne Viau
1992

"And you indicate the end of a proof with the term q. e. d. --it's just some Latin term."
Computer Science 222, Computer Science II, MSU ~~ 1992

"Males come in two varieties; color-blind and normal."
Dr. Ernest Vyse
Biology 301, Principles of Genetics, MSU ~~ 1993
...about phenotype differentiation...

"When you add up a lot of small numbers, you eventually get a pretty good-sized number."
Dr. Larry Jackson
Biochemistry 340, General Biochemistry, MSU ~~ 1993

"Even ecologists throw out results that are below 0.01."
Dr. Ernest Vyse
Biology 301, Principles of Genetics, MSU ~~ 1993

"I sure hope God understands that this is just for class discussion."
Dr. Shelley Miller
University Honors 401, Honors Seminar, MSU ~~ 1993

"Do you like your wilderbeast rare, medium, or well-rotted?"
Dr. Lynn Irby
Biology 101, Biology of Organisms, MSU ~~ 1993
... on hyena's dietary habits.

"We have a decrease in the rate of the increase of the population due to an increase in population."
Biology 303, Principles of Ecology, MSU ~~ 1993
on population dynamics

"We see a lot of populations trendeling to level off."
Biology 303, Principles of Ecology, MSU ~~ 1993
on population dynamics (trendeling?)

"...Now, a fire also happened here, but lets focus on the Porcupine..."
Biology 303, Principles of Ecology, MSU ~~ 1993
on disturbance ond community structure

"...This chewing is definitely a disturbance, since it brings about a change of states from dead tree to living tree..."
Biology 303, Principles of Ecology, MSU ~~ 1993
on disturbance and community structure

"...make them less reactive than before, that's pretty non-reactive..."
Dr. Arnold Craig
Chemistry 215, Elements of Organic Chemistry, MSU ~~ 1993
about Benzene reactions

"Now, you don't break the C-O sigma bond, or the O-H sigma bond... well, you do break the O-H sigma bond, because you have to..."
Dr. Arnold Craig
Chemistry 215, Elements of Organic Chemistry, MSU ~~ 1993
on alcohol reactions

"If you don't have it in your mind, you'll have nightmares about it."
Dr. Arnold Craig
Chemistry 215, Elements of Organic Chemistry, MSU ~~ 1993
on reactivity

"I like spontaneity, I never know what's going to come out of the chalk!"
Dr. Arnold Craig
Chemistry 215, Elements of Organic Chemistry, MSU ~~ 1993
on Synthesis

"...They have to wrestle with one whole set of reactions behind their back..."
Dr. Arnold Craig
Chemistry 215, Elements of Organic Chemistry, MSU ~~ 1993
about the TAs

"A very interesting guy who we don't have to talk about right now."
Dr. Arnold Craig
Chemistry 215, Elements of Organic Chemistry, MSU ~~ 1993
on Gabriel reactions

"...And because Benjamin is a dead white European male, we just believe him..."
Dr. Greg Francis
Physics 206, College Physics II, MSU ~~ 1993
on electricity

"...but you can't repel without a cause, even if you are James Dean."
Dr. Greg Francis
Physics 206, College Physics II, MSU ~~ 1993
on electric forces

"...it was a big quarrel...it was lots of fun!"
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Humanities 201, Introduction to Feminist Theories and Methodologies, MSU ~~ Fall 1994

"And the penis is also a greeting device."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Humanities 201, Introduction to Feminist Theories and Methodologies, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
discussing hyenas.

"We do not know, when we walk into the sub, which women are ovulating."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Humanities 201, Introduction to Feminist Theories and Methodologies, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
about non-verbal forms of communication in animals.

"...then she says 'I want to help the little children with AIDS,' and so we know she's current."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Humanities 201, Introduction to Feminist Theories and Methodologies, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
about foot binding and the Miss America contest.

"Let's talk about these fallacies ...[pause]... I like to call them 'phallusies!'"
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Humanities 201, Introduction to Feminist Theories and Methodologies, MSU ~~ Fall 1994

"I have very few quarrels, and that's not like me."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Humanities 201, Introduction to Feminist Theories and Methodologies, MSU ~~ Fall 1994

"I can see all the way around this jar and under it and she wants me."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Humanities 201, Introduction to Feminist Theories and Methodologies, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
explaining Freud on Dora

"Charlie is ...[pause]... absolutely ...[pause]... somebody else ..."
Beth Mentzer
English 221, College Writing II, MSU ~~ Fall 1994

"Hysteria is a fun condition to deal with."
Mike Miles
University Honors 201, Texts & Critics: Knowledge, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
On 'Dora'

"I saw this plaque, and it said 'Home of Sigmund Freud,' and that was Freud's house."
Mike Miles
University Honors 201, Texts & Critics: Knowledge, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
on his travels in Austria

"The dreams were kind of crazy - this was in the sixties."
Mike Miles
University Honors 201, Texts & Critics: Knowledge, MSU ~~ Fall 1994

"Bright kid, she died of Leukemia three years later, but that doesn't matter..."
Dr. Doug Herbster
Education, Curriculum & Instruction 209, Educational Psychology & Human Development, Adolescence, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"Starve to death and die of starvation..."
Dr. Gwendolyn Morgan
English 330, Women in Literature, MSU ~~ Spring 1995

"It also became 'Patriarchyalized' --if that's a word, which it isn't because I just invented it..."
Dr. Gwendolyn Morgan
English 330, Women in Literature, MSU ~~ Spring 1995

"The poor guy had a canary."
Dr. Gwendolyn Morgan
English 330, Women in Literature, MSU ~~ Spring 1995

"Break up with her right before her birthday, and she'll more than likely kill you."
Dr. Gwendolyn Morgan
English 330, Women in Literature, MSU ~~ Spring 1995

"...Are you busy on Thursday? I wanna pine."
Dr. Gwendolyn Morgan
English 330, Women in Literature, MSU ~~ Spring 1995
about propriety in romantic triangles in midieval literature.

"...not that you should do that sort of thing, but it's a good thought."
Dr. Calvin Kaya
Biology 417, Biology of Fishes, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"My arm makes a terrible fish, but you get the idea."
Dr. Calvin Kaya
Biology 417, Biology of Fishes, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
after demonstrating anguliform locomotion with his arm...

"Tuna biologists divide the world of fishes into two groups: Tunas and Not Tunas."
Dr. Calvin Kaya
Biology 417, Biology of Fishes, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
on Tuna Biologists

"We, as biologists, are interested in special modifications because they are so neat."
Dr. Calvin Kaya
Biology 417, Biology of Fishes, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"Sphincter muscles, we use them al the time."
Dr. Calvin Kaya
Biology 417, Biology of Fishes, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"You pull a trout out from ten meters down and it's unhappy."
Dr. Calvin Kaya
Biology 417, Biology of Fishes, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
on presurization in deep water.

"Now, if you're not convinced by my explanation, then you'll just have to take my word for it."
Dr. Calvin Kaya
Biology 417, Biology of Fishes, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"She used that word, 'Good Human Being,' yeah, that was the word."
Dr. Doug Herbster
Education, Curriculum & Instruction 209, Educational Psychology & Human Development, Adolescence, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"Now, I have a story to tell you about that."
Dr. Doug Herbster
Education, Curriculum & Instruction 209, Educational Psychology & Human Development, Adolescence, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
if you've had a class from Herbster, you'll understand...

"Don't start to think that this repeating stuff is because I'm getting senile, because maybe I am, but this is on purpose."
Dr. Doug Herbster
Education, Curriculum & Instruction 209, Educational Psychology & Human Development, Adolescence, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"Oh, Herbster, why don't you get a kinesthetic learner to do this role-playing crap?"
Andrea
Education, Curriculum & Instruction 209, Educational Psychology & Human Development, Adolescence, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"They can push our apple pie buttons and we have to watch that our apple pie buttons don't get pushed."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Religious Studies 204, Old Testament, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
about getting upset when religious, social, or patriotic views are called into question

"It's a post-spelling generation."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Religious Studies 204, Old Testament, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
on the inability of people to spell now that spell checkers are built into everything...

"Yuggthh... Icky... ...[pause]... That means 'Icky.'"
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Religious Studies 204, Old Testament, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"Just this couple who was trying to get dressed ...[pause]... and have sex."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Religious Studies 204, Old Testament, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
on the Adam & Eve story...

"That's how important it is, you have to have it a number of times; like the creation of the world."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Religious Studies 204, Old Testament, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
on repetition of stories in religious texts.

"Any Pagans here?"
Dr. Michael Becker
English 205, British Literary Traditions, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"The present world is much more immediate."
Dr. Michael Becker
English 205, British Literary Traditions, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"When we talk about flatness and one dimensionality, we're talking about Chaucer."
Dr. Michael Becker
English 205, British Literary Traditions, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
about Geoffery Chaucer and The Canterbury Tales

"You don't have to be a perverted Freudian."
Dr. Michael Becker
English 205, British Literary Traditions, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"Oh, it's a beautiful line, but you'll just have to trust me."
Dr. Michael Becker
English 205, British Literary Traditions, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
about a line of poetry that wasn't in his notes

"This period has very little going on, except they killed the King."
Dr. Michael Becker
English 205, British Literary Traditions, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"I couldn't tell you what we studied, but it was interesting."
Dr. Michael Becker
English 205, British Literary Traditions, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
About traveling in the U.K. as a grrad student

"I want to do a poem anyway."
Dr. Michael Becker
English 205, British Literary Traditions, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"Romantic means dying young ...[pause]... preferably of TB."
Dr. Michael Becker
English 205, British Literary Traditions, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"...in less than a little over a hundred years..."
Dr. Michael Becker
English 205, British Literary Traditions, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"...and so Hamlet says in... in... well, I guess Hamlet..."
Dr. Michael Becker
English 205, British Literary Traditions, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"Wordsworth didn't invent childhood, Rousseau did."
Dr. Michael Becker
English 205, British Literary Traditions, MSU ~~ Fall 1995

"There is only one complex number whose modulus is zero, namely zero."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"I think I can talk through this proof in just a couple of minutes."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"This theorem looks like ...[pause]... it's spelled wrong."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"Can't we just pull it outside of the integral sign?"
Physics Student
"You're in the wrong building to be doing that kind of thing."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993
In reference to integrating an infinite sum

"The obvious things are the hardest things to prove, I think."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"This would be chapter five now?"
Student
"Oh, I don't know."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993
Where were we?

"So, all of this is very simple."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"It is one because it's not because it would be one if it didn't."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"What class is this?"
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"So, think of z as being a number."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"It's important that these yellow curves be circles."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"There is some slop allowed but just certain kinds of slop."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"Just imagine there being a hole there of radius zero."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"I just drew a nice pink one because if we were going to calculate all those integrals, we'd want a nice pink one."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"So, this was just a foolish little manipulation."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"Let's cheat!"
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"I want to keep that number unmolested out here."
Math 449, Applied Complex Analysis, MSU ~~ Fall 1993

"I'm weirder than Keith?!?"
Simon Westlake
April 16, 2001

"You should all be reading this book; you know you can read books."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"There are no biologists in here so I can lie to you."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"A reasonable thing ... if you think about what's going on in a chemo-stat."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"Yeah, they present it differently because they present it correctly and I don't."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"We'll assume this mess is continuous."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"It's not an easy thing to do but it's a real problem."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"...general 2nd order LINEAR equation..."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"In reality, your rod is not infinite. But, maybe your rod looks like it's infinite depending on what you're modeling."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"Maybe I've got an infinite tube here and somehow I can inject some dye..."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994
In regards to real applications of what we're studying.

"Now, the proof of this is really simple. We'll do that next time."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"Yeah, I got 'em backwards on the board."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"No, no, no! This doesn't work for every PDE!!!"
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994
The innocent little student has his question answered rather emphatically.

"This is the idea. That mess is a trick."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"I can't find this in the book. Let me do this real quick... I'm going to do something really simple and it really probably doesn't make any sense."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"I'm not even going to non-dimensionalize it. I'm going to be bad."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"If you're given any arbitrary boundary conditions, you can actually trade them in for this kind... I actually lied."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"You take this guess and you shove it into the PDE."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"I already know that v=0 is a solution. That's not interesting."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"How do you figure out what the B's are? Well, if everything's nice in the world then..."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"I can actually show you how you can make up your own theorems."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994
Excitement for the true mathematicians...

"You can study these Sturm-Liouville problems for the rest of your life, if you'd like. --Some people do that."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"If it is positive, it is going to kill anything like that."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"This crap over here depends on f."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"I want to rewrite this thing a clever way."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"It's a finite sum. There's no sleight of hand here."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"When all the smoke settles, this turns out to be something kind of neat."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"I guess it's such a neat trick that it gets its own name."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"If you decide to stay in math... I hope I don't discourage you from that..."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"The g thing is going to be all of this junk."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"See, I've told you that applied math is nothing more than integration by parts and Cramer's Rule."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"This is just a clever thing."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"Almost anything I write down, you won't be able to integrate, differentiate, ..."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"And, I haven't done anything, O.K.?"
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"Or, like in quantum mechanics with particles moving in a 1-dimensional line... I don't want to talk about that."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"This is an easy calculation. I don't know why they don't do it in the book."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"Then, you can just program this into the computer and ask for a solution. Or get someone to program this on the computer if you have an aversion to computers."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"You don't even know what these functions are. They just exist."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"The hypotheses will not be satisfied but the result in the end will be the right answer."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"But, if we stick to the letter of the law, we are going to get tickets here."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"So, what are we going to do here? Foobineate!"
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"We ought to justify this but we can't so we'll just do it."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"Cross my fingers, hope that disappears."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"That's ERASE arithmetic."
Math 450, Applied Mathematics I, MSU ~~ Spring 1994

"I like my breasts! We've bonded!"
Dawn Stief
January 22, 1996

"Why can't I find the Chapter on Zen?"
Sarah Hall
Spring 1995

"I don't know much about girlfriends, ...or horses."
Scott "Dark Scott" Proper
Fall 1995

"What's spooge?"
Scott "Dark Scott" Proper
"What is spooge anyway?"
Spring 1996

"Look, you need to pay attention to this, this is important. ...[pause]... What was I talking about?"
Linda Cimikowski
Education, Curriculum & Instruction 320, Foundations of Instructional Computing, MSU ~~ Spring 1996

"Well, that looked like a content smudge on there... [pause] ...I'm not sure if 'content smudge' is the correct technical term."
April 19, 2001
about a CDR

"So, we can consider ourselves roughly as light-bulbs."
Rand Swanson
1994

"If it's not ohms, I don't understand it."
Rand Swanson
1994

"Put your crowbar back in your pants"
Eric Beckman
Mythus ~~ Fall 1995
to Phil

"I eat man-flesh!"
Lindsay Jones
March 12, 1996
When asked if she was currently a practicing vegetarian.

"That's why I like fish... They don't get mad at you if you don't feed them, They just die!"
Jeff Rangitsch
May 14, 1996

"OK, What's tan?"
Gene Frank
July 5, 1996

"The pair of you grinned like a couple of Jones clones."
Brian Van Vleet
1996

"I tried to say 'Hi,' but it didn't come out very well when I was trying to spit."
May 6, 2001

"I'm a very bad little girl!"
May 6, 2001

"I know you just called so you could quote me!"
May 6, 2001

"I'm wearing a wet suit, you're wearing a truck!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
Shadowrun ~~ Fall 1995

"Starvation 10 death."
Sierra (Stoneberg) Holt
1995

"Oh! Did I forget to mention the bad Guys?"
Aaron Benner
Shadowrun ~~ Fall 1995

"It's like twister, only outside and with sharp objects."
Spring 1996

"Normally before I come up to get a back-rub from you Chris, I REMOVE articles of clothing."
Fall 1995

"I am God. I know the rules. There are seven rules."
Cori Krauss
Spring 1996

"I don't know how they keep working as long as they do. No, it's really amazing how subtle they are and what they can put up with. A miracle of Biochemistry."
Dr. Victor Raboy
1995

"What? Undergrads?"
Sierra (Stoneberg) Holt
1996

"In the immortal words of Verna... Dammit."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
1996

"I think therefore I 'aaaaarrrrgh...'"
1995

"But I like labeling your food."
Derek "Reeker" Sonderegger
Fall 1995

"Being an engineer on a starship is much cooler than being an engineer on Earth."
Dave "of Dave's Hair" Balhinger
Fall 1995
About his potential career compared to Star Trek...

"Does it taste like Chicken?"
Mr. . "Verna's Dad" Askins
Spring 1996
about Carrie

"I think Microsoft's crappy products wouldn't piss me off so much, if they just all had the same crappiness, so you could deal with it."
June 2, 2006
Differences between the HTML incompatabilities in Outlook and Internet Explorer.

"Women are good in theory."
Dave "of Dave's Hair" Balhinger
Fall 1995

"Touch me someplace sensitive."
Spring 1996

"Shut up! You're dead!"
Jerry Malcomson
Shadowrun ~~ July 5, 1996

"I'm unconscious, you fool!"
Jason McGrody
Dungeons & Dragons ~~ Summer 1996
when his D&D character was asked --by the person that knocked him out-- for help

"I'm not saying anything about her that I don't mean."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
July 19, 1996

"Bad as in I lost my leg at the thigh bad?"
Scott "Dark Scott" Proper
Shadowrun ~~ August 20, 1996

"If it's a non-cybered, non-awakened gopher it could."
Shadowrun ~~ July 5, 1996
as to whether some wildlife could get through a detection grid

"I'm listening to my shoe!"
Jerry Malcomson
Shadowrun ~~ July 5, 1996

"I don't have the time right now to know everything."
August 22, 1996

"It's too expensive to be really cheap."
Gene Frank
August 14, 1996

"It's not a rainbow, it's the re-entry trail of a fairy"
Steve Furois
Fall 1996

"It isn't like automatic, not like a vending machine that you have the key to."
Gene Frank
August 21, 1996
about "getting lucky" with one's wife

"Then it occurred to me that life is just like a bunch of bad rock videos..."
August 21, 1996

"If you don't do anything wrong, you can't make mistakes."
Donald Seyffarth
August 30, 1996

"I'm going to tell you a story now, but it's not funny."
Anthony LaMonaca
August 31, 1996

"I just fed the acorns another squirrel"
Aaron Benner
September 1, 1996
about his car

"You're saying that my car could be an optical illusion?"
September 3, 1996

"Sometimes incense boxes smell really good, and other times they smell like dirty shoes."
September 20, 1996

"Stop goosing me with the toaster!"
Derek "Reeker" Sonderegger
September 15, 1996

"I can see Josh's psyche crumbling under the sheer weight of chocolate."
September 24, 1996

"We have to watch out that we don't get too big, or we might get slowed down by the speed of light."
August 20, 1996

"Brandon asked me why I worked for the gnomes, and I told him, 'The gnomes have money.'"
September 25, 1996

"Between the two of us, we can be a financial disaster!"
Verna (Askins) Benner
August 25, 1996

"I could get away with only a 4 gig drive."
Aaron Benner
September 17, 1996
Remember - in 1996 4 gig was enormous...

"What's the weapon speed on a Monk?"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
Dungeons & Dragons ~~ Fall 1994

"I smoke like a turkey."
Aaron Benner
September 26, 1996

"Now, who am I here?"
Aaron Benner
September 26, 1996
About one of the many terminal windows on his desktop...

"It's like your brain slips to one side and then your head gets heavy."
Serita Kimm
October 8, 1996

"Do you know how much good dirt costs?"
October 11, 1996

"That's dangerous for a reason."
Lee Bradshaw
October 12, 1996

"Am I missing the boat for the forest?"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
October 10, 1996

"I admit I'm dense, if you're going to do something subtle, let me know."
Fall 1996

"...They go to confession and pretend to have guilt."
Jennifer Nichols
October 14, 1996

"When I wade, I die."
Scott "Dark Scott" Proper
Shadowrun ~~ Fall 1996

"It's rather like wrapping yourself in Saran Wrap and screaming 'Hit me you evil bastard'"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ October 10, 1996

"Fortunately, I am a looser."
Tyson Trebesch
December 11, 1996

"Stinky-butt Zebra, kinda like Good-Times Barbie, but not as much fun to play with."
Aaron Benner
December 3, 1996

"It's not like I'm a moron who doesn't know what a com port is..."
Tyson Trebesch
December 5, 1996

"If someone were crawling under your desk, it would look bad"
December 4, 1996

"If there's a beauty to Windows 3.11, its that you can tell the mouse where to load."
Tyson Trebesch
December 12, 1996

"Be friendly to the moron customers, even the rude ones."
December 11, 1996

"If I wasn't so stupid, I'd be smarter."
Tyson Trebesch
December 16, 1996

"I go 'bugga-bugga-bugga' and run away a little."
Scott "Dark Scott" Proper
Shadowrun ~~ January 10, 1997

"You scum-bag. That's very clever."
Tyson Trebesch
January 3, 1997

"What do you call violence? Exploding surveillance men?"
Shadowrun ~~ February 7, 1997

"So, I'll be surrounded by invisible flames?"
Shadowrun ~~ January 24, 1997

"Dammit, I just had a thought."
Aaron Benner
Shadowrun ~~ January 24, 1997

"It is now safe to through your computer off a cliff."
Tyson Trebesch
January 22, 1997
about the shutdown message in Windows 95

"Look mom, a spinach penny!"
Philip Frank
January 14, 1997
... his first experience with Canadian coinage.

"Damn, but I should have bought some ammo..."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Shadowrun ~~ January 24, 1997

"I hate when artifacts of my reference frame fling things about."
Aaron Benner
January 18, 1997

"Some days I wish I had the Brain Power of a Cray computer, other days I just wish I had the brain power of a gopher."
Tyson Trebesch
January 14, 1997

"The important thing is it hurts and it didn't work, now can we move on..."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Shadowrun ~~ February 7, 1997

"Just a sec..., I'm trying to figure out how to type the word 'worldwide'"
January 30, 1997

"Wow! And I only had to rebuild one part of the Alaska Coast line from memory."
Aaron Benner
January 16, 1997
about scanned imagery for web sites

"I'm a real man, I can make my own Puff Pastry!"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
May 22, 2001
in the freezer department of a local grocery store.

"You can't just demand $25,000 from the secretary at 9:30am."
Brenda Kruzik
June 9, 1997

"If you're trying to be sexy and the guy is writhing in pain, may be you're doing something wrong."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
February 12, 1997

"I was trying to bring it back to life when I accidentally ripped it in half."
Gwen Jones
December 14, 1996
trying to fix the centerpieces at the company christmas party

"You do physics stuff in physics lab, but you don't do physics lab stuff in physics lab."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
June 16, 1997

"You clap after they all come in and sit down without falling over."
Aaron Benner
April 11, 1997
at a MSU Orchestra concert

"Clap until the conductor flees in terror."
April 11, 1997
at a MSU Orchestra concert

"It's hard to dance while you are sitting on your hands."
April 5, 1997

"I only penetrated a little bit."
Shadowrun ~~ May 12, 1997

"You can get leverage later."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
May 10, 1997

"...Except for the part about almost getting stabbed with a helecoptor..."
Shadowrun ~~ May 10, 1997

"I could take you home with me and show you knives..."
June 15, 1997

"What's 5% of lots & lots?"
Shadowrun ~~ June 16, 1997
He is referencing Steven Brust's Dragerea novels.

"I'm going to eat some salami because it has more salt than real salt."
May 16, 1997

"I would like to inform you that you are fighting the magical force of the universe..."
Aaron Benner
"You might want to blow your Karma pool for this..."
Shadowrun ~~ May 16, 1997

"Travel! See The World! Loose an Appendage!"
Lost Boy [Anthony LaMonaca]
Shadowrun ~~ May 21, 1997

"You can't outrun a mountain, so you may as well wait for it."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Shadowrun ~~ May 21, 1997

"I decided to bullshit with the spirit of the land."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Shadowrun ~~ May 21, 1997

"I can't deal with irrational women!"
Scott "Dark Scott" Proper
Shadowrun ~~ May 28, 1997

"When I use a word, it means exactly what I intend it to mean."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
April 12, 1997

"Well, his staff was fun to dance with."
Shadowrun ~~ April 14, 1997
her responce when asked how she felt about having danced with the group's mage...

"Thanks for warming up my staff for me."
Maquis [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
Shadowrun ~~ April 14, 1997
Having just had someone dance with his staff...

"I just go around stroking my beard and looking wise from time to time."
Maquis [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
Shadowrun ~~ May 14, 1997

"I don't know anything, do you want me to come over and talk about it?"
Maquis [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
Shadowrun ~~ May 21, 1997

"Am I smart enough to go sit down in the limo before I go to Valhalla?"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Shadowrun ~~ May 14, 1997
realizing that his character had just been slipped a mickey by another character...

"I ignore him, he didn't have anything interesting to say in life."
Paul [Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.]
Shadowrun ~~ June 21, 1997
having just encountered the astral presence that had formerly been Maquis...

"You were in a class with She Who Will Not Be Named... not that I'm still bitter..."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
March 6, 1997

"The more detail there is, the more liable it is to blow up."
Scott "Dark Scott" Proper
Shadowrun ~~ March 16, 1997
about the usefulness in planning a Shadowrun.

"Now I stand up and collapse."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Shadowrun ~~ March 23, 1997
getting events in the right order

"Excuse me, I think my friend is being mauled..."
Paul [Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.]
Shadowrun ~~ January 22, 1997

"I'm buying armor proof lingerie."
Clarice [Quint Ringsak]
Shadowrun ~~ March 20, 1997

"It sounds like 70's music."
Anthony LaMonaca
"Except it has different instrumentation and a beat."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
February 11, 1997
about some band's distinctive sound

"Freeze, put your hands up, you won the lottery."
Lost Boy [Anthony LaMonaca]
Shadowrun ~~ April 16, 1997
the briefest overview of the plan to get a surveilance location

"Why do we want to wear stockings?... Oh, you mean on our heads."
Christa [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
Shadowrun ~~ January 11, 1997
the meaning of the plan just sank in...

"The garbage can should not say things like that."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Shadowrun ~~ May 16, 1997

"He's achieving oneness with his magic fingers."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Shadowrun ~~ May 16, 1997
about Maquis

"This is my dumb question..."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
June 21, 1997

"Thank God I'm retarded!"
Brenda Kruzik
May 15, 1997

"Can you make a birthday cake out of salt?"
Susie Love
March 2, 1997

"I just don't have the honey coated voice I need to talk to morons."
Tyson Trebesch
March 2, 1997

"If you're very, very lucky, you get to swim in lava."
Tyson Trebesch
March 2, 1997
about Quake

"You type faster than I can think."
Tyson Trebesch
March 7, 1997
Watching Aaron Type

"We've upped our rates, now up yours."
Tyson Trebesch
March 15, 1997

"My title doesn't mean anything; I just do the same stuff from a different room!"
Tyson Trebesch
May 16, 1997

"Aaron's large, he has the static inertia of a Sherman Tank."
Tyson Trebesch
March 20, 1997

"I'm bad at telling jokes I dont' know."
Tyson Trebesch
March 20, 1997

"I feel better now that I don't have to throw up any more."
Tyson Trebesch
April 7, 1997

"She needs a DMA channel so she can think and talk at the same time."
Tyson Trebesch
April 16, 1997

"I'm entirely too patient with idiots."
Tyson Trebesch
April 19, 1997

"I just chewed a hole the size of Nebraska in my cheek."
Tyson Trebesch
April 19, 1997

"If your head weren't so tall..."
Tyson Trebesch
June 19, 1997

"It's like playing basketball with a watermelon, it works for a while..."
Tyson Trebesch
February 6, 1997

"One of these days, this is going to work."
Greag Johnson
April 15, 1997

"Cute little magical sperm floating in my eyes."
Darin Bessler
March 11, 1997

"Rub me! I grow!"
Darin Bessler
April 9, 1997

"All right, fine, I'm gonna be a good geek."
Aaron Benner
April 9, 1997

"You can completely ignore it and it's still entertaining."
Aaron Benner
March 17, 1997
about television

"It's still dark, but it's still lilty."
Aaron Benner
June 14, 1997
about the music that was playing

"Just go to your office and play with your Newton™"
Tyson Trebesch
June 14, 1997

"I need more than a banana!"
Chris Erlien
July 12, 1997
about breakfast

"You want to approach from the 'not-so-pointy' end"
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Spring 1997

"You'd rather think than finger someone?"
Spring 1997

"I actually had a funny one, but I was laughing so hard I forgot it."
Summer 1997

"Did I just spew forth a bunch of meaningless techno-babble?"
Summer 1997
Probably. Sounds like me.

"They will be happy to take all the money you've ever seen then consider installing digital phone lines."
Fall 1997

"I think we should get chips, but I want to call them soap."
Summer 1997
It had been a really long day, and I was having problems shopping...

"Oh-No... What did I just say?"
Summer 1997

"It's all academic; it's all guesswork in a white coat."
Tyson Trebesch
July 2, 1997

"You can't wear your Freudian slip with black nylons."
Steve Hermanson
July 2, 1997

"Electrons are our friends, because they're small and cute."
Dr. Richard Peterson
Spring 1996

"Don't you laugh at my chicken!"
Ann (Gangstad) Exner
May 26, 2001

"Who's cooking breakfast?"
Aliera [KT Andersen]
"You are."
Marcum Turlos [Keith Seyffarth]
"She is breakfast!"
Flemmoc [Ted Deshner Jr.]
"Crap, he's got his appetite back."
Aliera [KT Andersen]
Crimson Foam - AD&D 3.5 ~~ September 22, 2013
When the Kobold finally woke up again...

"Do not eat Magic Baking Wheel."
July 13, 1997

"I have an amazing grasp of the completely irrelevant."
July 14, 1997

"NO MORE JAEGERMEISTER."
Tune Vo
July 10, 1997

"Life is good... [pause] with air conditioning."
Tony "Bulldog" Loftsgaarden
July 16, 1997

"But he's employed by Microsoft, they have a different definition of works than the rest of the world."
July 22, 1997

"In life, it is much easier to push yourself a little bit more each day than to have someone else bite you in the ass occasionally."
Tyson Trebesch
July 21, 1997

"I'm just looking at the peacock feathers."
Dan Donnelly
August 29, 1989
Having recently walked in on a heated discussion between a creationist and an evolutionist.

"See, I don't have to get drunk to be stupid!"
Verna (Askins) Benner
August 17, 1997

"There comes a point where you throw out a little and you're hip, or you throw out a lot and you're a geek"
Darin Bessler
August 26, 1997

"Sometimes on this quotes page, you get really cool quotes, and sometimes you just get kinda dumb ones."
August 27, 1997

"I am YULE SECTRIS the paraplegic! Do not cross me, or you will feel my wrath!"
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"That's right buckaroos, I want your toenail clippings too."
Noron [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"Put your spell points down and step away from the captured elf!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"Visualize whirled Subatai."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"I wonder if Thor's mom ever said 'Have fun storming the castle'?"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"Turn your friends over to the evil demon lord, win fabulous prizes! Go on long trips, visit relatives you haven't seen in years... mainly because they're dead!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"He is not even wearing spandex!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
about a recently materialized demon

"My God, we're being attacked by the Keebler Elves!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"We all need to be a little goofy, so we don't get depressed when all our characters get slaughtered."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"You all just start meditating and hit the resonance frequency of the universe. Sory, thank you for playing."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"Subatai: the Buckaneer!"
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"That was an unusual botch; you summon Helen Shapiro, shaved with a dead pig."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"Tae, the light particle."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"It'd be like a red neck dance, but with people dying."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"...and then a dragon will swoop down and say 'Pardon me, but would you care for a spot of tea?' And God knows, you can't get rid of a dragon once you've given them snapdragon cookies!"
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"So, we're talking total plot-tonic reversal! Imagine all the plot points reversing and exploding at the speed of light. We could be talking about the end of Harn."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
Someone had recently watched Ghost Busters.

"Dark god de-cloaking off the starboard bow."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997

"Suddenly, you're squished."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
"What?!?"
Scott "Dark Scott" Proper
"So, YOU can bench press 40,000 pounds?"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997
about the orientation of the wall that the mage had just created.

"Draw a party..."
"OK, here's the keg..."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"I'm on a mission to deflower as many machines as I can with NetBSD."
June 19, 2001

"So, what you're telling me is that I have to go in to the manager's office tomorrow morning and tell him that we have the software, but it's still in kindergarten?"
June 27, 2001

"Tae has a toupee?"
Niy [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
"No, she has a Tae-pee."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"He [Thalnakal] won't like the paths of the dead."
"Neither will I!"
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"OK, on six the guys at the table stand..."
"Oh, I dare them."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996

"Here Cthulu, have a seat, your table is ready!"
"Cthulu's table is always ready"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996

"Fella?"
Niy [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
"My God, you've run into Sylvan, the supply clerk!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996

"Oh, I won't be sleeping tonight, I'll be with the princesses."
Elen [Sierra (Stoneberg) Holt]
"Well, if you need a tag team, let me know."
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996

"Look, immortal is one thing, death is another."
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997

"But uncle Minarsis, I wanted to go to the con and start a war!"
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997
...as Luke Skywalker.

"We mean you no Harn."
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996

"-WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM!-
NIY! Quit that shuffling of papers and open the door."
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996

"Can I have some crossbow bolts?"
"Sure, you get a quiver full of bolts with the Dwarven runes for Yule Sectris on them."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996
Someone plays too much nethack...

"I think most of the group has minor mental problems."
"Minor?! What do you mean, MINOR?!"
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997

"Remember when Elen was captured by the Priests of Naveh? Well, this is worse: I've been captured by the IRS!"
Dard [Jason McGrody]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"I get it! Valdis was a cross-dresser!"
Dard [Jason McGrody]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"We're not paranoid; there really are people out to get us!"
Dard [Jason McGrody]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"When my mom called me in for dinner... she didn't send a DRAGON after me!"
Dard [Jason McGrody]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996

"It's Tae time."
Dard [Jason McGrody]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996

"I am mortally afraid of Death."
Dard [Jason McGrody]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996

"So, where's the nearest town with an inn that we haven't blown up?"
Niy [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"Keith, that's not a list of occupations, that's schitzophrenia."
John Parkes
June 27, 2001

"Next time we meet a dragon, Please, PLEASE don't go insane."
Niy [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997

"I'm from a Shek-Pevar pantry."
Niy [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997
We're sure she meant Chantry...

"I like to pay attention when she's playing the harp, just in case anything blows up!"
Niy [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997

"Our attack party worked together like well-oiled Tupperware."
Elen [Sierra (Stoneberg) Holt]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"Don't whine, you're the GM!"
Sierra (Stoneberg) Holt
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"Dragon Tupperware parties? I don't want to deal with it."
Elen [Sierra (Stoneberg) Holt]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"Subatai, go and pretend to be a barbarian horde!"
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"You just know that the gargun carry around day planners... they even get the new inserts every year."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"If he shows up with a light saber, I'm leaving."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"I pull out a sword and wait for the rest of the group."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"I've got them labeled and indexed. This is bad feeling number 3a: We are all going to die!"
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"You released and ancient evil without me?!?!"
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996

"Me maur you, he-he."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996

"Play a little louder, so we can hear you above the screams of the dying in the camp."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997

"Rethan's an evil place; wish I could go there and slay most of them."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997

"Gusar wants cookies!"
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997

"Niy, blow down the gate."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996

"Truth is greater than fiction."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996

"Look! I'm on my best behavior ...[pause]... it's very boring."
Ann (Gangstad) Exner
July 10, 2001

"She's a waitress, she's trained to ignore things."
Roger Nummerdor
July 29, 2001

"I just did something that works!"
Erika (Abrahamsen) Whaley
August 3, 2001
Having just gotten a script in Onyx to run...

"Individual dwarves may have sex."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"You took a castle. Where did you take it?"
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"NO,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no! God, I sound like a bit."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1997

"The GM's word is not GOD!"
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1997

"Can't we all just retire and become farmers?"
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"As party cohesion explodes, so does a small corner of the kingdom."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996

"WHAT have the lot of you been doing?"
The Black Dragon [Quint Ringsak]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1997
what do you think they had been doing...

"She can keep the horse."
The King [Quint Ringsak]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997
I'm sure this was the least of his worries...

"...and the lich said 'ZOT! I send her to Tim-Buck-Two!'"
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997

"... Unless I have been giving myself unscheduled electro-shock treatment..."
Steve Furois
September 8, 1997
On why he shouldn't be stuttering

"I know how to use passive voice, I don't need pronouns!"
October 24, 1997

"I don't need to feel envy, I've already got one."
October 17, 1997

"Certainly don't drink and drive, get high and fly a plane home..."
Unknown
Spring 1997

"She finds new and inventive ways to screw things up."
Verna (Askins) Benner
November 6, 1997
about a mutual friend's mother

"She's the Princess, she can't wear diapers."
Verna (Askins) Benner
December 5, 1997

"Look! A Bozeman four-way pause!"
Rhonda Whiteman
Fall 1997
about Bozeman drivers

"I become immune to schmuckness!"
Verna (Askins) Benner
December 6, 1997

"I just had a Beavis and Butthead moment."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
October 26, 1997

"You just make a quest to the spirit's plane of origin, in this case, it's the toxic meta-plane of nuclear warhead."
Shadowrun ~~ November 3, 1997
about how to get rid of the nasty toxic free spirit...

"Wow, we've really degenerated tonight, haven't we?"
Shadowrun ~~ November 10, 1997

"I roll Mid-life Crisis."
Shadowrun ~~ December 1, 1997

"We are wimps together!"
Scott "Dark Scott" Proper
Shadowrun ~~ November 10, 1997

"I'm gonna spank the metaphysical Woodie."
Shadowrun ~~ November 10, 1997
About an astral spirit

"Oh, My God, I have notes that I can understand!"
Shadowrun ~~ December 1, 1997
About my notes, I guess...

"People don't care if you wack a griffin off, unless they're tree huggers."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
Shadowrun ~~ December 1, 1997

"It's almost as cool as John's gun, except only it's nowhere near as cool as John's gun."
Aaron Benner
Shadowrun ~~ December 8, 1997

"How many spirits can dance on the head of a pinhead?"
Shadowrun ~~ November 10, 1997

"You slipped her your giblets!"
Shadowrun ~~ November 10, 1997

"I'm a direct descendant of Sampson. If I cut my hair, I'll turn into a total wuss."
January 16, 1998

"If my head explodes, I'm gonna be very upset."
Shadowrun ~~ February 9, 1998

"So many left testicles, so little time."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
February 5, 1998

"The whole world is a bit overwhelming."
Mike Kostrey
February 17, 1998

"Remind me never to talk to you again."
Tyson Trebesch
February 17, 1998

"Keith... Ask him what time it is and he'll tell you how to build a watch."
Tyson Trebesch
February 19, 1998

"It's been a 'Paul and his plunger' kind of day."
Steve Furois
February 10, 1998

"It's a collection of stupid people that things have said."
Steve Furois
February 24, 1998
Describing this quotes collection.

"Yes, I have another job. Do you think I'm tired for the heck of it??"
Pat Lowell
February 24, 1998

"Unix, MS-DOS and Windows... The good, the bad, and the ugly."
Jason Morrow
Spring 1998

"If there were a door there, we could shut it."
Dave Austin
January 2, 1998

"Besides, no one's gonna see the gloppys."
Steve Furois
March 4, 1998
about the material that was being used as padding in a costume

"All things that come in little palstic bags are good for you."
Janet Pannell
August 28, 2001
In reference to her chocolate covered coffee beans.

"I did not put any love in the tacos today."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
March 1, 1998

"You don't actually have to have the blinky lights... You just have to visualize them before going out."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
February 27, 1998
about the theory that the more blinky lights you have on your stereo the better your chances of 'getting lucky'

"It's sorta a status symbol... you know, how many stupid things can a person say in front of Keith."
Steve Furois
February 2, 1998
about this quotes page

"Emacs is cool, because it allows me to be really silly..."
March 5, 1998

"I like it when you rub the side of my neck because it makes my head feel funny."
March 6, 1998

"I don't speak trn."
March 6, 1998

"If the three of us would shut up for a minute, I would quit getting quotes and I would be able to get back to compiling Apache so we could get out of here..."
March 6, 1998
proof that this page is a waste of time...

"I just said that so your girlfriend would stroke me!"
March 6, 1998
What you do to get quotes...

"WATCH PHILPINES STRAP CHINA"
Timex® zz - Label
Fall 1997

"Unfortunately, the shadowrun rules set is designed for a particular simulation (people shooting at each other in corridors) with a few add-ons such as decking (people shooting at each other in virtual corridors), rigging (people shooting at each other in streets) and magic (people shooting at each other in corridors in a different reality), and it does a shitty job at modeling anything else. The universe is great though."
April 11, 1998

"When all else fails, send in a proton."
Dr. Arnold Craig
Chemistry 215, Elements of Organic Chemistry, MSU ~~ Fall 1997

"A lot about the way I express myself becomes clear when you realize that I am a different person from moment to moment, and that I don't feel myself particularly obliged to be consistent with something one of my former selves said or did.

Of course, the first part of the preceding paragraph is true about everyone and the second part should be."

Josh
Spring 1998

"Well, artificial imitation cheese food substance tastes quite a bit like real imitation cheese food substance..."

July 2, 1998

"Joe's having fun with facial wrinkles."
Elizabeth Hainsworth
July 7, 1998

"When you jump off a 50 foot waterfall, make sure you land in the water."
Tony "Bulldog" Loftsgaarden
August 12, 1998

"I'm outta here! And I ain't never commin back!... well, for an hour anyway."
Pat Lowell
August 31, 1998

"I kick him between the balls!"
Shadowrun ~~ July 3, 1998

"You can do anything, it's just a matter of drain code."
Unknown
Fall 1997
about Shadowrun magic

"No, I'm yanking his plot hook. It's much more painful."
August 31, 1998

"These are smart crowbars."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
August 24, 1998
About Thor bundles.

"Instant characters, Just add dice."
August 24, 1998

"Yea!! I got on a quote board!"
August 24, 1998

"Look, I'm a friend of your computer."
Roger Nummerdor
Shadowrun ~~ August 24, 1998

"Asking your ISP to prevent you from getting a virus on the Internet would be like expecting the Highway Department to prevent you from having an accident on the Interstate."
Tyson Trebesch
August 3, 1998

"I am not wearing your mother's bathrobe!"
Jennifer Nichols
Fall 1997

"I am going to toast this marshmallow, and then I am going to kill you."
Andy Breuninger
Spring 1997
to Holly

"I bet this would work if it would just do what it was supposed to."
Dan Baur
Spring 1998

"What did Tyrannosaurus do for a living? He ate lawyers!"
Dr. Jack Horner
Spring 1997

"So, where was I going with all of this?"
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"It's one of those vacuous things that just looks silly."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"My equivilance relation is saying...darn."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"There is no good reason--well, there might be, but I can't think of it right now."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"This, by the way, is 2 lines in my notes. My notes mean nothing."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998
[after a long lecture]

"You can prove this while chewing gum. And walking down the hall."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"Non disjoint cycles... would that be, 'joint' cycles?"
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"I can solve for three. I can solve for six."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"I do think I did it correctly here, but that's not important."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"What's on page 37? Oh, yeah, just a bunch of boring stuff, read that."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"There's only 2 cosets. So actually life is easy."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"Thinking is discouraged here. Just write it down."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"I write down the result. I have no idea what this means."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"We didn't learn anything by applying this theorem."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"Now we have this nice law of whatever-it's-called..."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"This looks easier to me on a Friday."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"Now X is my favorite set. Everybody have a favorite set? Good. But we're dealing with my favorite set, not yours, and I'm not telling you what it is."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"He was a good physics teacher because he knew nothing."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"I was wrong in the sense that I didn't make a mistake."
Norman Eggert
Math 503, Abstract Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"We can derive this, but let's just define it so we don't have to prove anything."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"I'm not doing mathematics yet, I'm just blathering."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"Blathering, that's how I earn my income."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"This point doesn't exist yet, but that doesnt bother us."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998
[typical mathematician attitidue]

"P is prime. You know, 2, 3, one of those. You complete the list."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"You should never try to prove something unless you already know it's true."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"Also, try not to stand too close to a tornado."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"Teaching's supposed to make things intuitive. Well, then, we're out of a job!"
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"Span. I once wrote that as spam. Don't think about that too much."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"We're going to define this that way, and the only reason is so it will agree with the stuff we've already done."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"That's called the Godzilla Footprint Effect."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"Tie both hands behind your back, tie your feet together and start proving theorems."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"Exact solutions are overrated. So are numerical solutions. We just overrate things in math."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"If you have two vs, you get two twiddles, and they add. Twiddiling adds."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998
[twidle is so much more fun to say than tilde, don't you agree?]

"You should always check things for consistency, even if you don't have a clue how to prove it."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"I'm going to keep doing this example until you all realize how marvelous it is."
Richard Swanson
Math 504, Linear Algebra, MSU ~~ Spring 1998

"I'm Englishly challenged."
Jeff Dunlap
September 14, 2001

"I'm not here, as long as you don't look under the table."
Erika (Abrahamsen) Whaley
October 15, 2001

"I'm messing with my brain. I love to play with powerful toys."
Sierra (Stoneberg) Holt
Winter 1995

"Everyone perceived dinosaurs as if they were just walking around looking for a good place to go extinct."
Dr. Jack Horner
Spring 1996

"I think this has not gone beyond a rolling simmer."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
Spring 1996

"As they make computers smaller and smaller, they make less and less noise as they hit the floor. Dink! Dink! Dink!"
Rocky Ross
Fall 1997

"So let's say I have this friend who's in computer science, and I'm going to pay her to take my test for me (this is unethical, of course)."
Rocky Ross
Fall 1997

"What I want is a Nubian slave."
Brenda Sonderegger
Fall 1997

"Who knows when the perfect guy might come along, so your hair better be in place!"
Spring 1997
in reference to hair spray commercials

"I hate winter... I mean, really, I love winter, but I hate it."
Joe Garber
October 20, 1998

"I've come to this little excuse, and I like it, so I'm stickin' to it..."
Darin Bessler
November 3, 1998

"So, in this case, two wrongs do make a cool."
October 17, 1998

"It's 1:30 in the morning! You can't start a business now."
Shadowrun ~~ May 18, 1998

"It's that kind of voice that says, 'I've got testosterone, I don't need brains!'"
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Shadowrun ~~ October 27, 1998

"Live fast! Die young! Leave a wide corpse!"
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Shadowrun ~~ October 27, 1998

"Morgathians just don't hunt in flooded basements. They just don't do that."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Harn ~~ October 24, 1998

"I rolled directly under my smell."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Harn ~~ October 17, 1998

"No, It's different TV's that we both don't have."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Harn ~~ October 10, 1998

"You're shiny happy evil people, not like the Mafia."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Harn ~~ October 10, 1998

"I can provide references who think I'm an asshole..."
October 3, 1998

"OK, Jerrard serves you some moldy spiders."
Harn ~~ October 17, 1998
We believe he meant Mulled Cider...

"Divide your ego or will... Oh, wait, you don't have an ego..."
Harn ~~ October 24, 1998

"There's not much light and it's dark."
Harn ~~ October 24, 1998

"I don't think you can be gay and speak Hebrew."
September 19, 1998
Because of the way references to spouse/lover/significant other work in the Hebrew language

"I'd rather be a leper than a pyromaniac... Well, maybe not."
Jason McGrody
Harn ~~ September 19, 1998

"Do you remember the last town we got eaten alive in???"
Harn ~~ October 24, 1998

"I suppose if you made your friends, you could pick their nose..."
Harn ~~ September 15, 1998

"That's a good idea, except that it could get me killed..."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
September 22, 1998

"It wasn't that funny, Lloyd, but you sure were."
September 19, 1998

"Don't they have a dragon nanny service around here?"
Everway ~~ October 6, 1998

"Right now my character only has one thought... 'ouch'"
Everway ~~ October 20, 1998

"I'm leaving. Call me when I'm alive."
Everway ~~ October 20, 1998

"When the thing ate my car... That was a wilderness experience."
Shadowrun ~~ April 19, 1998

"I'm sorry, Keith, my player is tired."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Shadowrun ~~ April 19, 1998

"I can't believe I just rolled Willpower to take a dump."
Aaron Benner
Shadowrun ~~ Fall 1998

"Are you kidding? It crashes like a princess's limo!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
September 29, 1998
in response to email from a co-worker asking 'Has anybody had any problems with the program's stability?'

"Remind me to put my Internet someplace easier to find."
Roger Nummerdor
November 18, 1998

"If your dressed like a man, it means nothing; but if you're dressed like a woman, there's a chance you're strange."
Roger Nummerdor
December 29, 1998

"I am only not squirting you out of respect for your Zip drive."
Roger Nummerdor
January 25, 1999

"Don't make me zerbert you again!"
December 12, 1998

"Russia just lends itself to ridicule, I think."
December 19, 1998

"I was not aware that Bruce Lee had snuck into the shower with us."
December 19, 1998

"I'm marrying you because I want to do your mom."
December 21, 1998
to Chris

"I can't think while I'm itching my ear."
December 21, 1998

"Would now be an appropriate time to mention that I like the words 'Suckling Pig'?"
December 20, 1998

"Nifty; you look kind of like a pitcher plant."
December 20, 1998

"You're just jealous because I'm paying more attention to my Palm Pilot than I am to you."
December 20, 1998

"I was not going to suck on your toes; I was going to BITE them."
December 21, 1998

"I am Carrie, with drugs!"
December 21, 1998

"I wasn't going to zerbert you; I was going to bite your back. I'm a back-biter."
December 21, 1998

"I'm not a crab! I don't want to walk sideways."
Joe Garber
January 27, 1999

"This is a complicated site for being so simple."
Joe Garber
December 3, 1998

"The more problems you have, the easier it is to solve them."
Roger Nummerdor
February 2, 1999

"Yes, people don't have the patience of fish."
Roger Nummerdor
December 12, 1998

"Nice Try, that's what the 'NT' stands for."
Kyle Matteson
February 10, 1999

"If WindowsNT gives you power, what do you get from an OS that works?"
February 8, 1999

"It's five-thirty."
"Cool, that means we can all cuss."
February 22, 1999
Aaaaahh, the end of the work day

"I can't wait until we have these two NT Servers combined into one machine, then I'll only have one headache all day."
Joe Garber
February 22, 1999

"OK, I quit breathing. I'm dead now."
January 13, 1999

"I'm going to try not to rant about the superiority of Medieval Europe."
January 8, 1999

"Would you mind if I put my left leg inside your jacket?"
Ben Sawyer
February 13, 1999
as we were leaving a midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show - Ben, of course, was in costume...

"A bright, massive flame bursts into fire..."
February 13, 1999

"I don't think it's fair! You shouldn't be able to take quotes after midnight."
February 13, 1999

"Carrie is a very sufficiently constructed woman."
Roger Nummerdor
March 5, 1999

"OK, OK, I know, that wasn't nearly as funny as I though it was."
Tyson Trebesch
March 26, 1999

"Well, maybe you don't program, but I have, on occasion seen you maim code."
Roger Nummerdor
March 29, 1999
about Keith's programming capabilities

"I've injured myself in a bizzare way that Keith hasn't... wow... I feel proud."
March 31, 1999

"Are thesis advisors like thesauruses?"
"No, they're more like Satan."
April 16, 1999

"They were trying so hard to avoid 'cheesy,' that they leapt right past it and landed square in the middle of 'cow pie.'"
Esther Campbell
April 16, 1999
about the Star Trek - Voyager theme music

"Does Carrie know about your Nelson Mandella fetish?"
March 13, 1999
To Chris - who's married to Carrie.

"Wow! I don't think I've ever been called a 'transposal bastard' before!"
Jennifer Nichols
March 13, 1999

"They'll just wack you with some steel-coated urine."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
January 9, 1997

"Wait. As an elf, do I count as a faerie?"
Roger Nummerdor
March 4, 1999

"He'll show up real soon with the 'Knife of Infinite Pokey-ness' that I don't even know exists yet."
Shadowrun ~~ March 10, 1999

"Is immediately today or is immediately tomorrow?"
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Shadowrun ~~ March 10, 1999

"How about I give you some dice and you beat yourself up?"
Shadowrun ~~ March 31, 1999
risky words from the GM...

"I can't work this out in a way that won't get you killed."
Shadowrun ~~ March 31, 1999
profound words from the GM...

"Do you have a spell to calm them down, or should I set the whole inn on fire?"
Chentish [Scott "Great Scott" Furois]
Harn ~~ February 22, 1999
the Pelyan to the Savoran...

"I could tell her a really dumb story."
February 22, 1999

"I'm not sure how to 'noun-ize' it."
February 22, 1999

"It's green and really lumpy. I'm gonna eat some."
March 1, 1999
about his 'split pea soup'

"This is all your fault. Now I'm going to treat your wounds."
Roger Nummerdor
Harn ~~ March 1, 1999

"Unless you're going to ignore the 'fumble-grope...'"
Harn ~~ March 8, 1999

"There's the living parts that just kinda grow, then there's the living parts that just kinda eat you."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Harn ~~ March 22, 1999

"I don't want to be around a pelehan who's been pissed on, it may be worse than a pelehan that's been pissed off."
Harn ~~ March 29, 1999

"I succeeded. This is going to be a problem."
Harn ~~ March 29, 1999

"Do you have pockets?"
"No, I just have concealed areas."
Chrystalla [Rebecca Shopfer]
Harn ~~ April 5, 1999
the GM to the Priestess of Helaya...

"My mind is one with my... I don't know."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
April 5, 1999

"I meant we in the me sense, I guess."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
November 14, 1998

"And you would suck tap dancing in a sea of fire... so, what was your point?"
Chentish [Scott "Great Scott" Furois]
Harn ~~ April 5, 1999

"I'm not even going to non-dimentionalize this. I'm going to be bad."
Math 454, Introduction to Dynamical Systems I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996

"Or, like quantum mechanics, with particles moving in a one-dimensional line; I don't want to think about that."
Math 454, Introduction to Dynamical Systems I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996

"What's the limit as n tends to infinity of 2 to the n? It's big."
Math 454, Introduction to Dynamical Systems I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996

"Alright then. So what?"
Math 454, Introduction to Dynamical Systems I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996
After a long proof...

"Homeomorphism. That's another big word to impress your friends."
Math 454, Introduction to Dynamical Systems I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996

"Newton was kind of a sharp fellow; kind of developed Calculus..."
Math 454, Introduction to Dynamical Systems I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996

"That's that part of that theorem I haven't written down yet."
Math 454, Introduction to Dynamical Systems I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996

"And I don't want to take 5 hours to find the solution, because I am going to be dead in 3 seconds!"
Math 454, Introduction to Dynamical Systems I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996

"When you plug this in and do some arithmetic, you get some number."
Math 454, Introduction to Dynamical Systems I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996

"Well, since we have 2 seconds left, let's do another example."
Math 454, Introduction to Dynamical Systems I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996

"This is an art form, actually, this is why mathematicians don't do it."
Math 455, Introduction to Dynamical Systems II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997

"See, look at your partner's nose, there's a cusp. See, there's a singularity right there..."
Math 455, Introduction to Dynamical Systems II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997

"OK, Scotty, make it so!"
Math 455, Introduction to Dynamical Systems II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997
Getting his 'Trek confused?

"So I pretty much know everything."
Math 455, Introduction to Dynamical Systems II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997
In reference to a certain system of equations, but it's so much more fun taken out of context...

"It's not that it's easy. I'm not claiming it's easy. I mean, it is easy, but..."
Math 455, Introduction to Dynamical Systems II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997

"There's a lot of words in here."
Math 455, Introduction to Dynamical Systems II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997
Referring to the Book

"If there's any justice in the world, y prime better be negative."
Math 455, Introduction to Dynamical Systems II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997

"So, there's this sheep at the table, and there are some rabbits in the corner, and... does this make sense?"
Math 455, Introduction to Dynamical Systems II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997

"If you're a sheep, you're doomed, you're going to zero. Might take a long time, but you're doomed. Now the rabbits...The rabbits are happy."
Math 455, Introduction to Dynamical Systems II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997
Don't you love population growth models?

"If you wanted, you could try to find the solutions to this. The usual approach is to hit it with a big hammer."
Math 455, Introduction to Dynamical Systems II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997

"We ought to justify this, but we can't, so we'll just do it."
Math 455, Introduction to Dynamical Systems II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997

"Eric talked enough => true."
Erik Doeff
Math 461, Advanced Calculus I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996
Written on the board after a long explanation of a proof.

"So, we have y equal to this, and...I have no idea what this looks like."
Erik Doeff
Math 461, Advanced Calculus I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996
In case you care, the function was y=(k-(x^3))^(1/3).

"Before we put this coordinate system down, we may have called this point something else; Fred, maybe."
Erik Doeff
Math 461, Advanced Calculus I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996

"Anybody want to ask a question on this slight ramble?"
Erik Doeff
Math 461, Advanced Calculus I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996

"Given any kind of set: complex numbers, Peter, Paul and Mary -- whatever."
Erik Doeff
Math 461, Advanced Calculus I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996

"I wrote this in my notes and it seemed so clear!"
Erik Doeff
Math 461, Advanced Calculus I, MSU ~~ Fall 1996

"So that's the chain rule. We're now allowed to differentiate the way we always have."
Erik Doeff
Math 462, Advanced Calculus II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997

"Here's another case of it being so clear in my office."
Erik Doeff
Math 462, Advanced Calculus II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997

"So this is based on the Mean Value theorem, which is based on Rolle's theorem, which is based on...something earlier on."
Erik Doeff
Math 462, Advanced Calculus II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997

"Dare we do this again? Another example? Okay, jump into the fray."
Erik Doeff
Math 462, Advanced Calculus II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997

"There's some very gnarly examples in the text."
Erik Doeff
Math 462, Advanced Calculus II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997

"What are we talking about now?"
Erik Doeff
Math 462, Advanced Calculus II, MSU ~~ Spring 1997

"Malakai, of all people, is not a happy-fun ball."
Harn ~~ November 25, 1998

"It's been a long time, I forgot what I didn't know."
Roger Nummerdor
Harn ~~ December 8, 1998

"It's hard to have a road and not march your legion down it."
Harn ~~ December 5, 1998

"Two months ago it was yesterday."
Harn ~~ February 1, 1999

"Brandon is here in spirit, and that's what really counts."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
February 1, 1999

"You are channelling the spirit of Brandon through Theos???"
Roger Nummerdor
February 8, 1999

"Yes, but the lesbian blow job was the important part."
February 15, 1999
post-rocky...

"There's a breast smothering my home-world!"
February 15, 1999

"Sorry I'm late, I was force-fed a hamburger at guilt-point."
April 21, 1999

"It's broccoli, I just like to call it cauliflower... It's asparagus."
Linda Jones
May 9, 1999

"I bet the days you're not a problem are Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday."
Roger Nummerdor
April 23, 1999
About a fellow employee's days off.

"Now I wake him up."
Tone Ono [Greg Schneider]
"How?"
Kristen Boyle
"Um... Harsh language?"
Tone Ono [Greg Schneider]
Oriental Adventures ~~ May 30, 1999

"You need to see a doctor... and shut the hell up."
Bob "CthulhuBob" Lovely
May 30, 1999

"I was going to ask a question I don't know the answer to... No, actually, I was going to ask a question I have no way of knowing the answer to."
May 30, 1999

"Yeah, money isn't much good if you want to kill yourself rather than go to work."
Aaron Benner
June 7, 1999

"I think it tastes refreshingly like battery acid."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
May 8, 1999
about 'Surge'

"They don't have squirrel on this [encounter] table... They don't have any cool monsters!"
Harn ~~ May 10, 1999

"Wait. Am I doing this wrong?"
May 17, 1999

"You can tell it's a horse 'cause it's bouncy... I'll rephrase that."
Harn ~~ May 17, 1999

"I'm not a demon! fire just likes me."
Chentish [Scott "Great Scott" Furois]
Harn ~~ May 17, 1999

"I'm not going to relax... It's raining."
Chentish [Scott "Great Scott" Furois]
Harn ~~ May 17, 1999

"Roger, You're riding to Thay."
"Why?"
"Because he wants to meet up with the rest of the party."
Rebecca Shopfer
Harn ~~ May 24, 1999
Introducing new characters is such fun...

"That's just a point of Keith... See, he has a nose, too."
Rebecca Shopfer
May 24, 1999

"I'd show you, but I'd get all slobbery."
Rebecca Shopfer
May 24, 1999
Isn't it fun to take things out of context?

"I didn't make a joke today."
Rebecca Shopfer
May 24, 1999

"I think that will take much longer than I think it will."
June 10, 1999

"I wish I had bottle caps."
Erik Carlsten
July 28, 1999

"What?!? Haven't you ever been a guy before?"
Erik Carlsten
July 28, 1999

"Carrie you still need to install my squirrel on this computer."
September 20, 1999

"Anyone for a Swiss Army potato peeler?"
September 22, 1999

"... You don't want my piss ..."
September 22, 1999

"Frozen Yogurt Features..."
September 22, 1999
Like software features???

"If it weren't for that cron job that says 'knock posters off walls'..."
September 22, 1999

"Hey! Look! It has one of those grab-hold-of-it-and-rip-it-off-thingies... [pause]... hmmm, I grabbed-hold-of-it-and-ripped-it-off..."
September 24, 1999

"Who knows about stocks? Keith!"
"Why me?"
"You seem to know everything else at the moment..."
October 5, 1999

"It's not a magpie fence, it's a snow fence. It's for keeping the snow off the magpies."
October 5, 1999

"Yesterday was not so much a bad computer day as a *weird* computer day..."
October 14, 1999

"Arby's is known for their roast beef...that's why they have that big hat!"
Roxanne F.
July 4, 1999

"You know what I need?... [pause]... And I've got one!"
October 30, 1999
Getting ready for Rocky Horror and looking for white eye-liner.

"I was going to show it to you, but then I realized that I'm half naked and you're all tied up."
October 29, 1999
About the availability of notes for the Absolute Pleasure Rocky Horror preshow - but it's so much more fun all by itself... :)

"Can I make a quote page?"
"Sure."
Matt Eberle
Solaria ~~ Fall 2001

"Do you have you're underwear on?"
October 29, 1999
To Scott Wendt about his costume for Rocky Horror.

"This one's a stiffy!"
November 19, 1999
about his newly acquired office chair

"Gee Scott, there are a lot of people here taking notes with thier books open."
"I know, they're called students."
Spring 1999

"She's more than paid off her debts to me."
November 19, 1999

"The reason it doesn't work is that, according to SSI, 11 is actually greater than 12."
Aaron Benner
November 22, 1999

"I heard something like that, but it was different."
November 24, 1999

"Elliot, your car purrs like a constipated lion."
November 23, 1999

"Hi, you may know me as Keith because I suddently grew a brain!"
November 30, 1999

"I can't believe that snow just sits there all day!"
"Yes, it does that when it's cold..."
December 2, 1999

"No I don't care, and for that matter I'm the destined love child of satan and a really cute chick."
Aaron Benner
December 3, 1999

"Oh, cool!... I got sour cream on that part too."
December 23, 1999
about the ball-point pen he was taking apart

"Control-s for quicksave and Control-l for quickload. At least the quicksave is quick."
December 3, 1999
in reference to how the quickload feature of the game System Shock 2 isn't.

"Quint, how, exactly, did your shaving cream end up on my thigh?"
Rebecca "Becks the Great" Russell
October 31, 1999

"In case of army, break glass..."
December 4, 1999

"Why can't you just use scotch tape like everyone else?"
Bill Haff
November 20, 1999
joking about the tape backup system...

"I had to go help a co-worker crash his WinNT box."
"Someone needed help to crash a WinNT box?"
"Well, he wanted help with some Java code..."
November 8, 2001

"Looting is mass stealing."
Jimmy
"Thank god for the world trade orginazation."
Joe Edwards
Dungeons & Dragons ~~ December 4, 1999

"You're a bard, you can provoke Ghandi."
Bryce Butler-Dawson
Dungeons & Dragons ~~ December 4, 1999

"We'll go to the abyss; just dont make eye contact."
Dax Levandoske
Dungeons & Dragons ~~ December 4, 1999

"It's a big bar with ice in the middle; and people just happen to be playing hockey."
Geoff Benbow
November 10, 1999
about the Valley Ice Garden

"God @!#* friggin piece of crap software!!!!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
John Peters
"I go down on my mother with this mouth!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
June 16, 1999
more than anyone wanted to know...

"You just killed half the party; what do you have to say for yourself?"
"I'm going to Disneyland!"
Bryce Butler-Dawson
Dungeons & Dragons ~~ December 12, 1999

"He really killed half the party last night. It wasn't very nice at all... [pause]... You can deem this quoteworthy if you wish."
December 13, 1999
Don't tempt me... :)

"This film has been modified from its original, it has been formatted in TinyVision!"
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
December 29, 1999

"Now that the snow has been here for a while, its changed; sort of crunchy on the outside, soft and gooey on the inside; like an armadillo."
December 29, 1999

"I'm just hallucinating here in my own survival knife."
January 3, 2000
It didn't make any sense then either...

"So, your car is full-time four wheel drive?"
"Yea, but it doesn't mean anything when only two wheels are on the ground"
January 5, 2000

"Alas, I must eat so that I may have the energy to shower having showered that I may be clenly enough to dress and having dresses venture forth to do battle with the kingdoms of the godless php and the unforgiving mysql."
January 5, 2000
obviously a real geek...

"I'm happy for you, I'd rather be happy for me."
Rachael Stripling
January 1, 2000

"I know that Keith has a very well proportioned tongue."
January 4, 2000

"I killed primal chaos, and skinned it."
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ January 4, 2000

"It's typical of women's clothing. It looks like a skirt, but it's four times as inconvenient."
Tracy Larimer
January 11, 2000

"The really cool thing about Perl is that the logical solution NEVER works."
January 18, 2000

"If you start the apocalypse, we're not going to speak to you any more."
Fong [Roger Nummerdor]
Harn ~~ November 8, 2000
speaking to the Savoran who was about to cast a new spell...

"Goat, it's what's for dinner."
Gordon Schonfield
September 16, 1999
upon reading a passage from Homer's "The Odyssey" aloud in English class and being asked to analize it

"It's not a date rape drink, its a romantic cooler."
Glenda Brooks
February 1, 2000

"Tom is treating Windows like Un*x, he thinks a new release is an improvement."
Chris Steinbeisser
April 11, 2000

"I've decided that Shadowrun is boring, so I decided to GM D&D instead, only I'm not telling any of the players."
April 7, 2000

"That's one of the things I hate about Windows, in order to use any of the bugs in the operating system, you have to background all other processes."
April 12, 2000

"We like having you around, you're like baking soda on a grease fire."
Lori Faure
August 9, 2000

"If you can't be awake, being asleep is a pretty good alternative."
Trevor "Cheb" Ostenson
August 31, 2000

"It's not as neat to eat cheese off your finger as you might think."
Janet Pannell
October 4, 2000

"I think there are moral issues with co-workers sharing rocks."
Janet Pannell
January 18, 2001

"I have a rock in my shoe, but it's on the outside."
Aaron Eiche
February 1, 2001

"Being dumped is cool..."
Roberta Golden
February 15, 2001

"I just had to come out here and snort some popcorn..."
Danielle "Dani" Wanderer
March 21, 2001

"Idle logins provide the devil's CPU cycles."
March 23, 2001

"You can't cheat customs or they'll take your box!"
Michelle Manry
March 27, 2001

"You see, lettuce has a hard, bitter heart, just like you Keith!"
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
November 11, 2001
commenting on his salad

"I know why you should give me that free lunch... [pause]... I have to sit next to you every day!"
Erika (Abrahamsen) Whaley
November 15, 2001

"Yes... but software applications designed to be used by marketers should probably be easier than differential calc."
November 15, 2001
about difficulties figuring out how to use the new marketing software...

"This is supposed to be really easy and obvious."
Jason Mittelsteadt
"It probably is really easy - we're just stupid."
November 15, 2001
trying to figure out the new marketing software

"I think... I don't."
July 19, 1998

"I'm sorry Roger, but I'm gonna commit first aid on you now."
Harn ~~ April 26, 1999
My benevolent Hodiri, Malakai, was about to use his healing skill of 8 to try to repair a grievious stab wound to the knee of Roger's warrior.

"I'm sorry you're naked and outside."
Harn ~~ April 26, 1999

"I want my horse."
Malakai [Keith Seyffarth]
Harn ~~ April 26, 1999

"I am now the primary shedder in the house."
June 7, 1999
after Aaron and his cats moved out

"We must stop them! ... I stop them."
Chentish [Scott "Great Scott" Furois]
Harn ~~ June 14, 1999

"Does the tingling in my hand match the ringing in my ears?"
Harn ~~ June 21, 1999

"The Gargun are molesting my horses? I'm gonna molest them back!"
Malakai [Keith Seyffarth]
Harn ~~ June 21, 1999

"Did you just say, 'geek, geek, geek, geek; this is fun!'?... [pause, watch vigorous nodding of heads]... That's what I thought you said."
Rebecca Shopfer
January 2, 2000

"You can make another perception check."
"... so you can see if there is anyone else in your backpack."
Rebecca Shopfer
The Queen's Guard - Carrie's Game ~~ January 5, 2000

"Dogs have masters; cats have staff."
Charlie Schrupp
January 5, 2000

"I need a Tluxuko!"
Lord Architect Balthazar [Quint Ringsak]
"What the fuck is that?"
Chief Uniform Maker (NPC) [Carrie (Bowen) Jones]
"I just made it up."
Lord Architect Balthazar [Quint Ringsak]
The Queen's Guard - Carrie's Game ~~ October 20, 1999
attempting to have uniforms designed

"Schlupzurd. It's a Russian word that means Balthazar gets lots of X.P."
The Queen's Guard - Carrie's Game ~~ October 20, 1999

"You could have snuck in as quiet as a chainsaw and no one would have noticed, you're with Balthazar."
The Queen's Guard - Carrie's Game ~~ October 20, 1999

"Green tea ice cream is possibly the worst thing I have ever tasted... [pause]... with the possible exception of cabbage."
Charlie Schrupp
October 4, 2000

"It seemed like a good idea at the time. How was I to know he was a MAJOR demon?"
Valerius [Charlie Schrupp]
Harn ~~ October 18, 2000

"But then you could kill yourself with a cheeseburger..."
March 19, 2001

"Three people sneaking onto a dock at midnight would be suspicious, but a giant fat man with two sacks could be out for a late night snack."
Lord Architect Balthazar [Quint Ringsak]
The Queen's Guard - Carrie's Game ~~ August 19, 2000

"You've been sodomized by a butterfly."
Marcus Atrates [Keith Seyffarth]
Harn ~~ June 7, 2000
The other character had just been transformed back after being a butterfly for a month...

"Smurf, but it's German."
Charlie Schrupp
"What for?"
"Smurf."
Charlie Schrupp
June 7, 2000
Discussing foriegn broadcast television...

"Maybe I should get shot in the head more often"
Harn ~~ June 7, 2000

"... you could feed recordings of Lets Make a Deal to statisticians to find out, they like that sort of thing. They also like counting the fibers in carpet... they're statisticians."
September 8, 2001

"Apologize to Keith for making me apologize!"
November 10, 2001

"I'm stroking your cactus!"
November 10, 2001

"Wow! I wish I was going bald... well, maybe not..."
November 10, 2001

"You can put that in the quotes page--complete with eye-waggle."
November 10, 2001

"Leave it to a guy to think everything is a competition."
Erika (Abrahamsen) Whaley
"Of course, if you don't think of it that way, where does that leave you?... [pause]... Second Place."
Jeff Dunlap
November 26, 2001

"I don't really want to learn, I just like putting 'o' on the end of all my words..."
Erika (Abrahamsen) Whaley
December 5, 2001
while talking about her attempts at Spanish...

"Is it the universe that hates me, or just Scott?"
Johnathon Holroyd
September 27, 2001

"Saja likes him... I think it's because he has hands."
December 7, 2001

"The nice thing about not filing things, is tht then it's easy to find them...."
December 10, 2001
while grabbing a sheet of paper from about half way down in one of several piles on my desk...

"When I was in grade school, I always got pluses on understands what is read on my report card, but because they never showed it to me, only to my parents, I thought I was good at color differentiation."
December 18, 2001

"I take a deep breath and see if I die..."
Kyle [Jeff Brister]
Shadowrun ~~ March 12, 2001

"Library... Isn't that the place where people store guns?"
Kyle [Jeff Brister]
Shadowrun ~~ March 12, 2001
the eternal mercenary...

"...And as you know, barnacles aren't fast."
Stewart MacDonald
November 12, 2001

"I've never had Friends before."
Dungeons & Dragons ~~ December 23, 2001
about the Magic-User spell...

"...And I look like I can drink water, too."
Ann (Gangstad) Exner
December 24, 2001

"He just got this funny look on his face... like he found spinach at the back of his teeth."
Ann (Gangstad) Exner
December 24, 2001

"Are you OK?"
Ann (Gangstad) Exner
"No, I seem to be picking up behavioral characteristics from a parrot."
December 24, 2001

"If you do that, I'll never seduce anyone!"
Barron Von Munchausen ~~ December 27, 2001

"My cheeks hurt."
Barron Von Munchausen ~~ December 27, 2001
after much laughter about horse flatulence...

"Maybe there was a King of the Moon, too..."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
"There is, he's the one who can drop trou' fastest!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
Barron Von Munchausen ~~ December 27, 2001

"It's like Lord of the Dance, but it probably won't sell a million videos."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
Barron Von Munchausen ~~ December 27, 2001
about the King of the Moon...

"I find any tale of seduction that includes flatulence highly suspect."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
Barron Von Munchausen ~~ December 27, 2001

"I'm playing Twister with myself, leave me alone."
January 1, 2002

"Oh boy, we're turning into a Bynar."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
January 1, 2002
after Lloyd and I spoke the same sentence at the same time...

"OK, That's a PRIMAL rolling pin - I'm not messing with it."
James Ekert

"I may have mooshed my brother into tomato paste, but dammit, he's gonnal smell nice!"
James Ekert
after Martha just mooshed her brother into tomato paste and then 'freshened up' the room to cover the odor...

"...Meat loaf the food product... you make it sound like SPAM."
January 1, 2002

"Last night it was food. Now, it's icky-poo."
January 1, 2002
about the slimy orange residue in the cake pan.

"Who are you to decide who lives and who dies? ... Oh, yeah, you're the hostess."
January 1, 2002
to Carrie

"Me and my performance part are going home."
Rory Edwards
January 10, 2002

"Typing sloppily, faster than the universe deals with is annoying."
January 16, 2002
about the number of typos in the 'talk' session over a VERY slow connection.

"Carrie! I didn't know you wrote soft-core porn."
January 17, 2002
about a dream his wife had written for a character in a game she had run a couple of years earlier...

"...but they think stealing from competitors is an easy way to get work done."
Rory Edwards
February 5, 2002

"It's been only 20 years per installment. That's only slightly worse then Image comics."
January 29, 2002
About the cover art for HackMaster 4th edition Player's Handbook and Game Master's Guide versus their first edition Advanced Dungeons and Dragons counterparts.

"It's convenient: you're late, you don't get a save."
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ January 31, 2002
Why the 'immune from fear' character was running in terror from the zombies.

"Everything gets a 20 hit point kicker ... except really weak things."
"Like BattleMages."
Johnathon Holroyd
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ January 31, 2002
Why the monsters were harder to kill.

"They are an adventuring party."
"But these people are playing HackMaster, while the others are playing Mythus."
"But none of them realize that the GM is playing Call of Cthulu..."
February 6, 2002
While watching The Mummy. Some of us gametoo much...

"If all you're concerned about is security, go ahead and use Netscape."
Erika (Abrahamsen) Whaley
March 6, 2002
about which browsers which functions worked in...

"Don't tell me that I have to use my brain."
Jason Mittelsteadt
March 6, 2002

"We're using the word 'nibble' in our notes!"
James Ekert
Solaria ~~ 2001

"I'm trying to form an unhealthy opinion of women!"
Solaria ~~ 2001

"I've got a guy in my campaign who is 'lawful irritated'!"
Matt Eberle
Solaria ~~ 2001

"I'm not writing that *one* down!"
Solaria ~~ 2001

"When in doubt...make sorbee!"
Solaria ~~ 2001

"It all depends on whether or not you are using the party as a decoy."
Matt Eberle
Solaria ~~ 2001

"At least your computer recognizes its hard drive!"
James Ekert
Solaria ~~ 2001

"The result of that missed dex check is that you're breaking up."
Matt Eberle
"That relationship just isn't working."
James Ekert
"It's all about who's on top, isn't it?"
Solaria ~~ 2002

"I cast 'animate beard' on the dwarven infantry!"
James Ekert
Solaria ~~ 2002

"Did you just walk through a planar rift?"
"Dammit, we warned you about that!"
James Ekert
Solaria ~~ 2002

"Come! Join the insanity!"
James Ekert
Solaria ~~ 2002

"You took a KITCHEN KNIFE into battle!?"
Ian, The Dwarven Thane (King) [Matt Eberle]
Solaria ~~ 2002

"Wow, this chart is...incomprehensible."
Solaria ~~ 2002

"Having the illiterate pacifist mute mad at you is the worst!"
Evan [James Ekert]
Solaria ~~ 2002

"Hey, can I borrow your spear for a second?"
"NO!"
The Guard [Matt Eberle]
Solaria ~~ 2001

"So, all we have to do is defeat a foreign army-and I thought this was going to be hard!"
Solaria ~~ 2002

"From now on-if you can't read your own handwriting, don't pass me the note!"
Matt Eberle
Solaria ~~ 2002
To James Ekert

"He's got an armor class 6 points lower than me and he gets hit at least three times as often!"
Roger Nummerdor
"Yeah, it's called 'Getting into combat.'"
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ March 21, 2002

"Air compressors are wonderful things."
Roger Nummerdor
"It wasn't with an air compressor."
"It's better than putting your mouth on a goat!"
Roger Nummerdor
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ March 21, 2002
Abouts methods for skinning goats...

"Something died here... Oh, yeah, that was the mage."
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ March 21, 2002

"You know what they'll call the sequel?... AD&D 2nd Edition."
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ March 21, 2002
About the Dungeons and Dragons movie.

"I'm only at -40 hit points, I can come back!"
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ February 14, 2002

"If I hadn't been a flaming coward, I could have been really hurt!"
Wayne Stone
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ February 14, 2002

"Do her negotiating tactics offend someone enough to want to call the guard down on you... Let's roll a 'to hit' for that."
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ March 7, 2002
About the Chaotic Evil Barbarian henchwoman's way of collecting assistants.

"You have the baddest, nastiest evil guy dead on the floor in front of you. What do you do?"
"I loot it!!"
Laura (Sing) Schneider
March 6, 2002

"Don't tell me about the secret spices on your body-I just don't want to know!"
Solaria ~~ 2001
to Ian Gardiner about his "Cookie" character

"The Garlic Press Gauntlet: If anyone has a garlic press of armor, it would be the dwarves!"
James Ekert
Solaria ~~ 2002

"I mean, they filled the drawer full of Tootsie rolls! I can't help that! I just had to eat them all."
Solaria ~~ 2002

"I can just see Spock mind melding to a potato: "My thoughts to your thoughts, my mind to your...starch.""
Solaria ~~ 2002

"They scatter like ShadowRun grenades."
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ April 18, 2002
regarding why the rats that had just fallen off the rope were not under the thief who fell next.

"Well, when you learn to fly, then you can be on top."
Whisper [Johnathon Holroyd]
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ April 18, 2002
To Ox about the marching order.

"Tele-Skele..."
Dave the Bard [Roger Nummerdor]
"Tele-Skele? Is that like Tele-Tuby?"
"Yeah, only thinner..."
Roger Nummerdor
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ April 18, 2002
Re: the skeletons atacking the party.

"I had an upper respiratory infection a couple of years ago. That's the worst hacking crit I ever had."
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ April 18, 2002
critical hit tables...

"If it's gonna save my ass, you're gonna do your math right, buddy!"
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ April 18, 2002
Did Whisper hit an A.C. -2 or a -3...

"Flit. You can flit. I can't flit! I'm a Dwarf! Dwarves don't flit!"
Sally, Dwarven Priestess of Odin [Keith Seyffarth]
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ April 18, 2002
about who should sneak past the big bad guy...

"I am glad to know that the problem you were experiencing while playing clips from the site in question without problem."
Satish G. RealNetworks Support
June 6, 2002
After telling him that the problem had already been solved...

"There must be people out there who are under the impression that if it is really, really, painfully bad, deep down, it must be really good!"
"And those people use Windows?"
June 16, 2002
We had been talking about Woody Allen films...

"And for my next trick, I will discuss Windows networking."
June 17, 2002

"So, what you're saying is that Microsoft is user friendly, and nothing else is?"
Erika (Abrahamsen) Whaley
June 17, 2002
regarding someone else's problems with RealOne Player.

"I shall fend you off with my measuring bowl!"
July 19, 2002

"I have the grape and the ice... and access to a computer."
July 19, 2002

"Well, it was better than Anaconda, the way that eating a nice steak is better than rolling around in fresh dog turds."
July 18, 2002
About the movie Eight Legged Freaks.

"You know way too much."
Erika (Abrahamsen) Whaley
August 2, 2002
after I corrected her about what kind of tree it was...

"...Except for the fact that he's not breathing."
"That's not a wound."
Roger Nummerdor
"It's a feature!"
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ April 25, 2002
about the dead bard...

"What are you using for light?"
"Me!"
Roger Nummerdor
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ May 16, 2002
regarding glowing armor

"...And that wouldn't have been so bad, if it weren't for the claymore mines..."
Shaun Neece
Shadowrun ~~ June 23, 2002

"Quint [the GM] said he liked the idea. That's the problem with it!"
Johnathon Holroyd
Shadowrun ~~ August 4, 2002
trying to agree on plans...

"I don't have hit points... [pause]... This could be bad..."
Hacking on the Borderlands - Hackmaster ~~ August 7, 2002
about my new character... I guess I wasn't quite done yet.

"We need answers. Does anyone have Interrogation?"
Lloyd Revious
"I've got Propaganda."
"Oh good, we can write a song!
(singing)
'You want to tell us!
You want to tell us!'
"
Lloyd Revious
Forest Dreamers ~~ Fall 1993

"This is your brother: [RIP] Dead.
This is your other brother: [RIP] Dead.
This is you... Do you see a pattern forming?"
Lloyd Revious
Forest Dreamers ~~ Fall 1993
showing, then ripping, pictures during interrogation

"I don't know...
I don't know...
I don't know..."
Lloyd Revious
"Will you marry me?"
"NO!!"
Lloyd Revious
Forest Dreamers ~~ Fall 1993
Lloyd becomes confident that there is no question that can't be answered by that one generic phrase as people try to make him change his answer. 'Til Phil came along... Maybe revulsion has it's purposes.

"This is important - this is group bonding."
Renee Folsom
"Leave it to a marketing department to come up with group bonding."
"We have group bonding in IT."
Erika (Abrahamsen) Whaley
"But is it fun?"
Tiffany (Vick) Maierle
"No!"
Erika (Abrahamsen) Whaley
August 8, 2002
going to the company ice cream social...

"Oh great Durin, master of the forge..."
Jay Rost
"Isn't that your name?"
Lizardman Campaign ~~ Spring 1994
Comments on prayers

"Are you trying to bribe a city official?"
Judge (NPC) [Eric Beckman]
"Well...yes?"
Scarface [Phil DeKoning]
Lizardman Campaign ~~ Spring 1994
Scarface and judge, as judge adds a charge of bribing public officials to Scarface's indictment. Scarface was trying to bribe with $50.

"Let's get out of this god-forsaken wilderness"
Scarface [Phil DeKoning]
Lizardman Campaign ~~ Spring 1994
Scarface, forgetting he's a Druid

"I throw a bag of chalk powder in the air."
"You have chalk powder?!"
Eric Beckman
"Yeah, right here."
Lizardman Campaign ~~ Spring 1994
Showing Eric his two page, complete list of Scarface's items... in a broken-in house

"Aren't cutbacks a bitch?"
Jay Rost
Lloyd's Shadowrun ~~ Spring 1994
The troll to the security guards, while riding in the back of Allen's Toyota Gopher

"A man with a thousand tales doesn't need endurance."
Kharix [Phil DeKoning]
Mythus - Ravenloft ~~ Fall 1994
Phil, downplaying Kharix's low endurance score

"I'm going to taste the door [to see what kind of metal it's made out of]."
Kharix [Phil DeKoning]
Mythus - Ravenloft ~~ Fall 1994
How to lick a lightning glyph.

"Phil, you truly are a sick and twisted individual."
"It's an honor to know you!"
Mythus - Ravenloft ~~ Fall 1994
The many facets of the chronicler

"You see three of the village people coming toward you."
Eric Beckman
"If they start singing 'YMCA,' I'm leaving."
Mythus - Ravenloft ~~ Fall 1994
Eric describing a situation, Ravenloft.

"You feel the Bloodmoon beginning to rise."
Eric Beckman
"[singing]
I feel a Bloodmoon a-risin'..."
"[also singing]
I feel trouble on the way..."
Aaron Benner
Mythus - Ravenloft ~~ Fall 1994
Eric describing a scene, Phil, Keith, and Aaron dancing in their chairs

"Ben is the Kevin Bacon of Greyhawk!"
Mythus ~~ Fall 1995

"What sort of armor does a Yoga skill of 6 give me?"
Shaun Neece
"NONE!"
Mythus ~~ Fall 1995
on spiritual armor

"...and I think that right here the author meant..."
Joshua Wendt
"Josh!! I wrote this!! I know what the author meant!"
Eric Beckman
Mythus ~~ Winter 1995
letting the wind out of Josh's sails. Comments on Arykian Mythus Rules

"He's not dead yet!"
Eric Beckman
"Oh, this is one of those moral moments, isn't it?"
Shaun Neece
Mythus ~~ Fall 1995
on stunned lizardmen

"Hi Ben!"
Head of the Thieves' Guild (NPC) [Eric Beckman]
Mythus ~~ Winter 1995

"We don't want to anger any more gods than we have to."
Ben [Shaun Neece]
Mythus ~~ Winter 1995
on seeing gold coins in the water by statue of Bloob-De-Bloop, lobster woman guard, deciding not to steal any coins

"This is relativly ungood."
Ben [Shaun Neece]
Mythus ~~ Winter 1995
to Varnis, on seeing a mountain explode

"NO URINATING IN THE PASTRY!!"
Head of the pastry department [Eric Beckman]
Mythus ~~ Winter 1995
to Filth, the Kobold chef-in-training, in Pastery 105

"Those are the BIGGEST sheep tracks I've ever seen! Who knew that sheep had claws?"
Ben [Shaun Neece]
Mythus ~~ Winter 1995
on 00-ing a tracking roll and finding a Manticore

"I have access to Phil's brain."
August 12, 2002
what information was really available...

"How would you like an extremely valuable statue?"
Ben [Shaun Neece]
"Of which one of us?"
Varnis [Phil DeKoning]
Mythus ~~ Winter 1995
on a swamp statue, in Basilisk territory

"I see something that causes Spiritual damage! Assume the lotus position!"
Ben [Shaun Neece]
Mythus ~~ Winter 1995
on spiritual damage

"You slam into the Dwarf."
Eric Beckman
"The Dwarf is 10 feet off the floor!?!?"
Shaun Neece
"Evidentily."
Eric Beckman
Mythus ~~ Winter 1995
Conversation on the failed acrobatics roll of Fredrick {The beauty of this exchange is Eric's confident and succinct response that just shut Shaun down and brooked no arguement.}

"I play my 'Dramatic Speech' card."
"OK. Give your speech."
Eric Beckman
"We must avenge the dead southern boy!
Kill the enemy!!
Destroy them!! Die! Die!! Die!!! "
"That wasn't a speech! That was the ravings of a madman!"
Joshua Wendt
Redneck TORG ~~ Summer 1995
Conversation in TORG

"Josh, what's your strength, you need to lift something."
Eric Beckman
"3."
Joshua Wendt
"3? A newborn baby has a 4!!"
Eric Beckman
Redneck TORG ~~ Spring 1995
Followed by various actions of the party mocking Josh's character as being too weak to lift the scalpel or even stand up... The risk of rules-raping.

"Gives a new meaning to sporting a woody!"
Fredrick [Mike Resner]
Mythus ~~ Fall 1995
after changing back from being a tree...

"Mage needs presence badly!"
Roger Lemke
Mythus ~~ Fall 1995
commenting on Josh's absence and Maxim's 'being shadowy...'

"We're sorry, the Mage you have dialed is not available at this time. This is a recording and cost you 30 heka."
Maxim [Joshua Wendt]
Mythus ~~ Fall 1995
Maxim's answering machine for the horseshoe communication system

"[sung] Swing Low..."
Roger Lemke
The Sheep Campaign ~~ Spring 1996
commenting on Hamish standing outside wearing nothing but a nightshirt and cap

"Please, I hope we can't see through her dress!"
Mike Resner
The Sheep Campaign ~~ Spring 1996
commenting on an old lady in an older dress

"Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of Ben's lives."
Roger Lemke
Mythus ~~ Winter 1995
Commenting on Ben's trip to the temporal plane.

"Well done."
Roger Lemke
"Yes, they are."
Joshua Wendt
Mythus ~~ Winter 1995
complimenting Josh's fireball that incinerated a large number of rats.

"We'll need rations."
Jay Rost
"OK, what are you looking for...MREs?"
Eric Beckman
"Nah! Doritos, burritos, and a big ol' keg of Schmidtt!"
Jay Rost
Redneck TORG ~~ Summer 1995
You asked for rednecks, you got 'em!

"I'm going to buy a 10 point regeneration power."
Joshua Wendt
"But, why would your character have that?"
Shaun Neece
"...[stunned silence]
...[more stunned silence]
...[erase, erase, erase]"
Joshua Wendt
Champions ~~ Fall 1995
Shaun yanking the leash

"Bring on the Royal Heffiers!"
Matador [Phil DeKoning]
"No, Phil, we are not role-playing you screwing cattle."
Eric Beckman
TORG Superheros ~~ Fall 1995
Matador dealing with the natives in India.

"Sometimes when you're afraid to move, that's when you have your movement."
Eric Beckman
Spring 1996

"Why am I charging into combat?! I'm the MAGE!!"
Hamish [Phil DeKoning]
The Sheep Campaign ~~ Spring 1996
as Hamish is being speared like a fish

"If we can't win this battle, we'll win the next one! We'll outbreed them!"
Hamish [Phil DeKoning]
The Sheep Campaign ~~ Spring 1996
commenting on the second groin hit of the night

"He's our 'spearless' leader."
Roger Lemke
The Sheep Campaign ~~ Spring 1996
commenting on Shaun's ineptitude

"How about Nature Attunement: Animal Relations?"
Roger Lemke
"No, that would be, 'As winter falls, the herd moves back into the high mountain pastures..[Soundtrack swells].'"
The Sheep Campaign ~~ Spring 1996
Comments on Josh's attempt to Min-Max a roll

"[to Phil] Wait, you gave him a little bit of jerky, we'd need to give the big one YOU!"
Joshua Wendt
"Litte jerky, big Jerk."
Mike Resner
The Sheep Campaign ~~ Spring 1996
Talking about how to make a LARGE turtle happy

"I'm still Min-Max-ing."
Shaun Neece
"Oh, God! Don't."
Joshua Wendt
Darklands AD&D ( 1st Edition ) ~~ Spring 1996
Complete Shift of roles...

"I've got money to spend."
Mike Resner
"Buy a donkey?"
"You mean a 'piece of ass?'"
Mike Resner
Darklands AD&D ( 1st Edition ) ~~ Spring 1996
Mike, being a smart-ass

"Make a WIS roll."
Eric Beckman
"Why? Do I have to go?"
Darklands AD&D ( 1st Edition ) ~~ Spring 1996
Phil being a wise-ass

"You could strum my lute, but I don't think that'd do very much."
"I don't think you should be strumming anybody's lute."
Eric Beckman
Darklands AD&D ( 1st Edition ) ~~ Spring 1996
Eric being evil

"Hey, give Microsoft credit. Windows is getting much better. Windows 2000 is almost as stable as my 12 year old Macintosh that's been struck by lightning."
August 31, 2002
Discussing the viability of various Un*x based systems as desktop OSes for general computer users.

"There's going to be a lot of Grunts in this universe."
Eric Beckman
"That's because we don't get enough fiber!"
Conan Campaign ~~ Spring 1996
Mis- and re-interpretation

"What the hell are you doing!?"
Roger Lemke
"We're admiring your ass."
Mike Resner
Conan Campaign ~~ Spring 1996
Phil and Mike looking at the miniature Roger was using for Valeria

"GM says, 'Every time Josh makes a roll, a character gets his wings.'"
Conan Campaign ~~ Spring 1996
on Josh casting flight on the entire party

"We found some crabs in the nether regions."
Joshua Wendt
Conan Campaign ~~ Spring 1996
Describing a battle in the previous week's adventure

"That's the problem with Valeria. Some guy's always trying to take her to the altar."
Shaun Neece
Conan Campaign ~~ Spring 1996
Bad temple guardian hauling Valeria, overhead, to the sacrificial altar.

"Stand up, I am not worthy of praise."
Issa'hib [Joshua Wendt]
Conan Campaign ~~ Spring 1996
Josh speaks the truth

"I am not a Chew Toy, dammit!!"
Ralarian [Roy Dueffler]
Darklands AD&D ( 1st Edition ) ~~ Spring 1996
being chewed by a water cat

"You know of a horse god of the northern people."
Eric Beckman
"Close enough!!!"
Shaun Neece
Darklands AD&D ( 1st Edition ) ~~ Spring 1996
Devon trying to pray to a relevant God to get a cat beast to leave Ralarian alone. (Didn't work)

"God!! It's a keeper!"
Leo [Mike Resner]
Darklands AD&D ( 1st Edition ) ~~ Spring 1996
on seeing a creature in the water-filled room and finding it's a lake trout.

"I'll pick a number out of my head and you roll it... you're wrong.
It's the only fair way. "
Eric Beckman
Darklands AD&D ( 1st Edition ) ~~ Spring 1996
Roy searching for secret doors, 2 in 6 chance to succeed.

"And if I get plucked off the rear, no one will miss me."
Ralarian [Roy Dueffler]
"You're right about that."
Shamus [Joshua Wendt]
Darklands AD&D ( 1st Edition ) ~~ Spring 1996
Josh showing why he is the evilist s.o.b. in the party.

"Oh shit, we're up to Devon on the front line"
Shaun Neece
"Well, they [the NPCs] are probably thinking, 'Oh shit, we're up to Oo-Tog on the front line.'"
Darklands AD&D ( 1st Edition ) ~~ Spring 1996
Fighting troglydytes in a sewer

"Who's in the cell with me?"
"No one. That's why it's called..."
Eric Beckman
"SOLITARY."
Everyone
Darklands AD&D ( 1st Edition ) ~~ Spring 1996
Phil opens mouth, inserts foot

"Now, THAT's penetration!"
Roger Lemke
Darklands AD&D ( 1st Edition ) ~~ Spring 1996
Arrow hits Angiline, Leo is copping a feel while pulling the arrow out

"I didn't need that."
Shaun Neece
"I didn't need that either."
Mike Resner
Spring 1996
On a visual representation of Mike's getting 'fixed'

"Freeze! Drop your weapons!"
Everyone
"OK, what now?"
Lloyd Revious
"We wait an action to see what they're doing."
Everyone
"They're still running."
Lloyd Revious
"We open fire! [sounds of bullets, rockets, machine guns, lasers, phasers, spears, ducks, and sheep flying at the enemies. Bodies exploding and dropping]"
Everyone
"Now for their first action..."
Lloyd Revious
Lloyd's Shadowrun ~~ Spring 1994
Initative problems and parties

"We all spend a Joss point."
"Why?"
Eric Beckman
"To make sure the pizza gets here in 30 minutes or less"
Everyone
Mythus - Ravenloft ~~ Fall 1994
Sadly, Joss doesn't apply to all situations

"Eric, what did you have for lunch on Tuesday?"
"I ha..."
Eric Beckman
"Eric had a cheeseburger and fries."
Joshua Wendt
Mythus ~~ Spring 1995
Puppeting: V (1) The act of answering a question asked of another person.

"Eric, what is the modifier for the range?"
"P..."
Eric Beckman
"Plus 2"
Joshua Wendt
Mythus ~~ Spring 1995
(Phil and Eric raise their hands, Phil in marionette mode, Eric in sock puppet mode... Josh slinks down in chair with look of dejection, suitably mocked.)
Puppeting: V. (2): Raising one's hand and making either a talking motion like articulating a sock puppet or wiggling the fingers as if working a marionette. Often used to mock someone who has engaged in puppeting as described in definition one.

"We killed the bad guys?"
Everyone
"Yeah."
Eric Beckman
"We go home."
Everyone
"You don't want to know what happened?"
Eric Beckman
"No."
Everyone
"You don't want to examine the camp?"
Eric Beckman
"No, we go home."
Everyone
"[looks at his HUGE sheaf of notes]... SIGH "
Eric Beckman
Old West Cthulhu ~~ Summer 1995
After completing the prelude the party ignores the main plot and blows the adventure

"We can't even run because of all the people behind us!!"
Roger Lemke
Darklands AD&D ( 1st Edition ) ~~ Spring 1996
Seeing buttloads of goblins & things while backed up by 6 NPCs.

"If he keeps this up, he could get a good contact out of this."
Eric Beckman
"If he keeps it up, he could get some REAL good contact out of this."
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Spring 1997
Phil's allusion to Hawk's hot female reporter contact

"You're one of those fragile boys, aren't you?"
Wayne Stone
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Spring 1997
after Phil comments that he's losing sanity points

"Ya know, Phil, It's hard to believe that you have so little to do on Saturday nights that you can come here."
Wayne Stone
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Spring 1997
Comment on Phil's charisma

"If it doesn't require pulling something repeatedly, you're just no good at it."
Eric Beckman
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Spring 1997
Eric to Gerald, on his lack of social skills (Eric was refering to gun triggers)

"Are there any large objects next to me?"
Charlie Delimata
"Well, the lady next to you could stand to lose a few pounds."
Eric Beckman
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Spring 1997
describing a scene

"Don't second guess a man whose ass is hanging in the wind."
Wayne Stone
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Spring 1997
On getting shot

"You know, the street's clear if you want to run."
Smith [Wayne Stone]
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Spring 1997
Comment to Hawk regarding an earlier fight where Hawk ran like a little girl...

"It covers my All, but what about the rest of me?"
Charlie Delimata
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Summer 1997
Waking up in a paper hospital gown after a VR adventure

"She looks a little scared and uneducated."
Eric Beckman
"I like 'em like that."
Charlie Delimata
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Summer 1997
Charlie lets more slip than he should have

"I guess he IS awakened."
Charlie Delimata
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Spring 1997
Allusions to a certain body part

"For some reason, I just can't walk straight today."
Charlie Delimata
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Summer 1997
Allusions to a certain body part

"It's magic!"
Wayne Stone
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Spring 1997
Allusions to a certain body part

"It's my magic wand."
Eric Beckman
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Summer 1997
Allusions to a certain body part

"He was going to swallow his tongue? Hawk tells me he never swallows."
Smith [Wayne Stone]
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Summer 1997
again, going further than is necessicary

"I replaced myself with a small shell script today.
I am trying to figure out if that makes me insignificant or impressive. "
September 4, 2001
Figuring out how to deal with massive amounts of email.

"Why won't you let me talk to my garlic press, dammit?"
September 3, 2001

"Oh, I've seen this before! I know how to handle this!"
Maxim [Joshua Wendt]
"Let's go down the hall and hide."
Varnis [Phil DeKoning]
"Let's see... we just do this... and this... and... Oh shit."
Maxim [Joshua Wendt]
Mythus ~~ Spring 1996
in the sewers 'defusing' an 'easy' rune. Varnis and the party hid down the passage
Maxim needs to roll anything but an 00 to defuse a Rune... Guess what he rolled

"And you wanted to steal that statue!!"
Varnis [Phil DeKoning]
"But now it's stealing us!"
Ben [Shaun Neece]
Mythus ~~ Spring 1996
being taken by Bloob-De-Bloop into a cave

"What's going on?"
Varnis [Phil DeKoning]
"We're slaying evil!"
Maxim [Joshua Wendt]
"Or at least getting it wet!"
Ben [Shaun Neece]
Mythus ~~ Winter 1996
as Theodin, Maxim, and Ben form a "Holy Helmet Brigade" to douse an evil thingie with holy water

"I take the damage to my groin!!"
Theodin [Roger Lemke]
Mythus ~~ Winter 1996
on recieving some fire damage to his most armored (and important) part

"Where are you guys going?"
Maxim [Joshua Wendt]
"Varnis is being eaten!"
Ben [Shaun Neece]
"Oh."
Maxim [Joshua Wendt]
Mythus ~~ Winter 1996
Maxim and Ben, Ben, Fredrick et al. are going to help Varnis against a Displacer beast and Maxim was heading in the other way.

"What a horrible, perverted song designed to lure me in, I just realized!"
Varnis [Phil DeKoning]
Mythus ~~ Spring 1996
after Theodin casts a spell to make Varnis realize that the music he is hearing is a horrible perverted song designed to lure him in...

"It's DWARVEN, I tell ya!! And if you don't believe me, I'll show you my Axe!!"
Theodin [Roger Lemke]
Mythus ~~ Spring 1996
looking at a carved staff with a snake on it. (He rolled a 96 to identify.)

"Do I have to kill Maxim?"
Varnis [Phil DeKoning]
"The snake was absorbed by Theodin!!"
Maxim [Joshua Wendt]
"So, Can I kill Maxim?"
Varnis [Phil DeKoning]
Mythus ~~ Winter 1996
Varnis and Maxim talking when a snake thing wraps itself around Theodin's arm & neck & being absorbed by him...

"Fredrick has struck a big one! Again, it is the legend!"
Theodin [Roger Lemke]
Mythus ~~ Spring 1996
commenting on Fredrick's fighting skills

"[sung]
Gee, Mom, I want to go,
But they won't let me go,
Gee, Mom, I want to go kill."
Matt Aznoe
Mythus ~~ Spring 1996
commenting on the time it takes to reload a Musket (25 tokens)

"The time for talk is over."
Hippolytus [Phil DeKoning]
Hercules & Xena Rolepalying Game ~~ Spring 1996
Confronting about 10 cultists of Ares, Minutes later, a centaur was beaten like a $2 mule.

"Damn it, we're the heros of this campaign, anything less than the biggest ship is an insult!"
Hadriano [Phil DeKoning]
Conan Campaign ~~ Spring 1996
to inspire his crew, capturing the ship that would become the Original Sin

"SWEET JESUS!! What was that!?!?"
Cable [Roy Dueffler]
Shadowrun - Boston ~~ Summer 1997
Comment on Using two kilos of C-12 to blow stuff up

"Good for you! Get over it."
Eric Beckman
Scraypers ~~ Spring 1997
commenting on Charlie's good roll.

"You've got her tail."
Charlie Delimata
"Well, first piece of tail I've got tonight!"
KameCraze [Eric Beckman]
Scraypers ~~ Spring 1997
grabbing a metallic shark...

"He appears to be a humanoid weasel."
Charlie Delimata
"Josh?!?"
"OK, the nose is similar..."
Charlie Delimata
Scraypers ~~ Spring 1997
describing NPC's

"Being a Borg means never having to be saddle sore."
Johnny Helfire [Wayne Stone]
Rifts New West ~~ Summer 1997
after 1st day's cattle drive

"Rover is all over"
Charlie Delimata
Rifts New West ~~ Summer 1997
after Phil does 110 megadamage to a dogboy

"That's what happens when you go into a bar, you come out shitfaced."
Rifts New West ~~ Spring 1997
After Johnny Helfire goes through a window and into a pile o' shit

"My coat's open and my tool's hanging out."
Eric Beckman
"Well, you know, you were just at the whorehouse."
Wayne Stone
Rifts New West ~~ Summer 1997
Eric lets something slip

"He's pulling number 5. We're doing #2."
Jack Durango [Eric Beckman]
Rifts New West ~~ Summer 1997
Sparkey choosing switches

"Wait until they get a load of this."
Jack Durango [Eric Beckman]
Rifts New West ~~ Summer 1997
Said on entry to the bathroom, though it didn't need to be

"So, what's his first reaction to this?"
Gerald Boice
"Ouch."
Charlie Delimata
Rifts New West ~~ Fall 1997
After Sparky put a tree chunk through a vampire

"Um...Bob, Lunch."
Eric Beckman
Rifts New West ~~ Summer 1997
After an unarmed man in boxer shorts eaten by Jack Durango's carnisaur.

"You stay with us and we'll turn you into a rootin' shootin' cowboy."
Jack Durango [Eric Beckman]
"Or turn you into a psycho killer!"
Whitestorm [Gerald Boice]
Rifts New West ~~ Summer 1997
Helping Roger's character buck up.

"Shit, this is easy!"
Sparky [Phil DeKoning]
Rifts New West ~~ Summer 1997
An inappropriate tag line, usually followed by booms, crashes, gunfights, or malfunctioning machinery.

"I swear that you leave a slime trail where ever you go."
Charlie Delimata
Space 1889 ~~ Summer 1998
When Gerald's character purchased weapons from the enemy in the campaign

"He used to be a Kite flier."
Charlie Delimata
"Yeah, then somebody told him to go fly a kite."
Roger Lemke
Space 1889 ~~ Summer 1998
Hiring NPCs

"You wanna swat that fly with the mace?"
Roger Lemke
"Only if it lands on Phil."
Charlie Delimata
Space 1889 ~~ Summer 1998
Movie props (I sincerely hope) in Charlie's basement

"She's a Dwarf. You know what kind of armor that implies."
Wayne Stone
"Ribbed."
Charlie Delimata
The Bagpipe Campaign - AD&D ~~ Spring 1998
Charlie, again, reveals more than we wanted to know

"You're not helping."
Wayne Stone
"You say that a lot."
Jay Rost
"I have so many opportunities."
Wayne Stone
The Bagpipe Campaign - AD&D ~~ Spring 1998
Wayne laments others pointing out GM mistakes that help the party

"I strike my Sunrod."
Wayne Stone
"Well, if that's what you're calling it now..."
Jay Rost
"I'm going to strike your sunrod here in a minute."
Wayne Stone
The Bagpipe Campaign - AD&D ~~ Spring 1998
Wiseass-ism rears its head again

"It'll take a double movement to get in there."
Eric Beckman
"I just had a double movement."
Wayne Stone
The Bagpipe Campaign - AD&D ~~ Spring 1998
Why the hell do I try to write this stuff down?

"You pull the cloth off & there's a nice pristine organ there."
Eric Beckman
"I've got a nice pristine organ."
Wayne Stone
"Yeah, that's never been used."
Charlie Delimata
"You motherless piece of s%@t, don't you dare!"
Wayne Stone
The Bagpipe Campaign - AD&D ~~ Spring 1998
Wayne see's Phil writing - The dangers of being the chronicler...

"You have business with Fast Eddie?"
Bouncer at Fast Eddies [Quint Ringsak]
"No, I have business with that Blonde..."
Joe-Bob [Keith Seyffarth]
Young Dwagons - Feng Shui ~~ September 19, 2002
Getting through the back door at a "Gentlemen's Club" in Hong Kong

"I thought I was cooler than this, but I wasn't."
Young Dwagons - Feng Shui ~~ September 26, 2002

"Being a hero is tiring."
T. Luke Renner
Young Dwagons - Feng Shui ~~ October 3, 2002

"I'm afraid to see we think alike."
August 15, 2002
to Phil

"White Wolf makes these really cool, dark horror games, then releases enough suppliments to turn them into Hackmaster."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
August 15, 2002

"Do you have any trade goods?"
Gate Scribe at the Little Keep [Quint Ringsak]
"Do you have a warehouse?"
Wallen [Phil DeKoning]
"No."
Gate Scribe at the Little Keep [Quint Ringsak]
"Then no."
Wallen [Phil DeKoning]
"What if I had said 'Yes?'"
Gate Scribe at the Little Keep [Quint Ringsak]
Hacking on the Borderlands - Hackmaster ~~ August 22, 2002
Entering the Keep

"Yeah, I'm livestock with a seduction skill."
Zapata [Keith Seyffarth]
"Oh?!? Bestiality already?"
Garret [Roger Nummerdor]
Hacking on the Borderlands - Hackmaster ~~ August 22, 2002
Introducing myself to the 'comely dancing girl' in the tavern.

"Gore can be washed off; just ask Tipper."
Hacking on the Borderlands - Hackmaster ~~ October 24, 2002

"How many H.P. do you have?"
Charlie Delimata
"Just give me the damn damage."
Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien
MisCon Nightbane ~~ Spring 2002
Attacked for 70 damage

"You feel like ripping your shirt off, and you do."
Eric Beckman
"You don't often see that kind of behavior in a Librarian."
Wayne Stone
The TORGshank Redemption ~~ Summer 2002
The dangers of being non-possiblity rated

"I'm sorry I didn't die spectacularly enough for you guys."
Wayne Stone
"Well, do better next time."
The TORGshank Redemption ~~ Summer 2002
The tables turn

"Racist!!"
Halfling bandit [Quint Ringsak]
"Would you like to be two quarterlings?"
Garret [Roger Nummerdor]
Hacking on the Borderlands - Hackmaster ~~ August 22, 2002
Quieted them down nicely

"The fucker's going down."
Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien
"Which fucker?"
Eric Beckman
"Depends on what the dice roll is."
Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien
The TORGshank Redemption ~~ Summer 2002
An enemy lying on Charlie's character

"Settle down, boy. He's been cut from the team."
Charlie Delimata
The TORGshank Redemption ~~ Summer 2002
To Robbie, on Murphy's death

"I took an automobile piloting skill, did anyone else?"
Wayne Stone
"I did."
"You know what, Phil? Your character doesn't get to drive."
Wayne Stone
Nightbane ~~ Spring 1998
Remembering past bad experiences

"It's fun to be terrifying."
Gerald Boice
Nightbane ~~ Spring 1998
After putting an NPC into an apoplectic coma

"Wayne's in Helena with his mother. She feeds him."
Charlie Delimata
"So do I!"
Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien
Nightbane ~~ Spring 1998
The price of free pizza

"OK. I need to drink my pint of blood. I'll make a mental note of him for future reference."
Wayne Stone
Nightbane ~~ Spring 1998
Sensing someone Evil

"Oh God!! Phil's character's going to try and drive again."
Wayne Stone
Nightbane ~~ Spring 1998
Flippy goes to steal a tank. (He wrecked it.)

"OK. I don't know if I would touch it any further."
Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien
"That's what your wife said last night."
Wayne Stone
"That's O.K. because she decided she should."
Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien
Nightbane ~~ Spring 1998
Opening an over-carbonated Mountain Dew

"You know what, Phil? This [The extended fist] just isn't working anymore. I think we're just going to have to beat the crap out of you."
Wayne Stone
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
The controls are failing

"Sorry Guys."
Wayne Stone
"Oh, no problem, somebody has to be Kevin Bacon."
Eric Beckman
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
After several people walk up and talk to Wayne for no good reason

"It's kind of like the Brady Bunch except we've got more tusks."
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
Everybody playing Half-human classes, maybe a common parent?

"Jello-Hutt, somebody order a cube?"
Charlie Delimata
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
Delivering a couple gelatinous cubes to the castle

"Gerald, move over so I can stand next to Phil."
Charlie Delimata
"Because he's your hero?"
Eric Beckman
"Because if he's holding his breath, he isn't talking."
Charlie Delimata
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
Charlie, making use of his expulsions of noxious fumes

"I've got a bonus of +4, a +2 flank bonus and I STILL can't hit!"
Wayne Stone
"Welcome to my hell."
Charlie Delimata
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
Problems with dice rolling

"You smell what smells like rotting jungle."
Eric Beckman
"Gotta use more soap in the morning."
Charlie Delimata
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
Scene description taken too literally

"Is that a 2 handed club or a one handed?"
Wayne Stone
"Depends on if you're turning the page or not."
Charlie Delimata
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
Maybe a little explanation is needed for this one

"You can pull the dwarf up but there's something clinging to him."
Eric Beckman
"Oh! I caught something!"
Charlie Delimata
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
Raising a dwarf & something with long arms

"If they sent you a little boy, on the other hand..."
Charlie Delimata
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
Gerald's character resists the advances of his female dressing assistant

"You can't say it's beneath his notice. He was digging through mud for a silver coin!"
Gerald Boice
"You're not helping!"
Wayne Stone
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
Seeing Scott's character eyeing some gems

"Well, we should be back in a few days, either way."
Wayne Stone
"Maybe not alive, but we'll be back."
Charlie Delimata
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
Considering a trip to the city of the damned

"Who is thine Father?!?"
Wayne Stone
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
Fantasy smack

"Maybe you can make a Natch-20, too."
Eric Beckman
"I did!"
Wayne Stone
"Oh, this doesn't bode well for later."
Charlie Delimata
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
burning all the good rolls early

"She's small, she's light...she's inflatible."
Charlie Delimata
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
Comments on Silvermane's cargo

"In only about 10 minutes you've mounted the wall..."
Eric Beckman
"And boy are we sore!"
Wayne Stone
Harpo Polo Campaign ~~ Summer 1998
Climbing in the City of the Damned

"Why is everybody speaking Afrikaans?"
Scott "Dark Scott" Proper
"Because we're in South Africa."
Eric Beckman
"No, we're not. All Shadowrun takes place in Seattle."
Scott "Dark Scott" Proper
South African Shadowrun ~~ Spring 1999
Must be crowded there...

"Can I make a listen roll to see if they've fired?"
"Make a perception roll."
Eric Beckman
"17"
"You hear nothing."
Eric Beckman
"They're using silenced weapons over there! Let's go!"
South African Shadowrun ~~ Spring 1999
Nice try

"I'm your Fairy Beer Mother."
Charlie Delimata
South African Shadowrun ~~ Spring 1999
tempting a drunk with Hair of the Dog

"I won't kill you, but this is really gonna hurt!"
Wayne Stone
South African Shadowrun ~~ Spring 1999
to security guard

"There's what...six of us now?"
Daiku [Phil DeKoning]
South African Shadowrun ~~ Spring 1999
finding out how many rooms to rent, after Deadeye turned himself in

"What would sex be, Body or Willpower?"
"In your case, it'd probably be Quickness."
Jay Rost
South African Shadowrun ~~ Spring 1999
*Sigh* It sucks to have to write this stuff sometimes.

"It's not the most pleasant 3 seconds you've ever spent..."
Eric Beckman
"No, that'd be last night."
Wayne Stone
"3 girls, 3 seconds. That's about right."
Charlie Delimata
South African Shadowrun ~~ Spring 1999
Discussion of Scott the Hutt's amourous adventures

"Checking for Astral-Vodka"
Wayne Stone
South African Shadowrun ~~ Summer 1999
Dealing with untrustworthy watchers (is there any other kind?)

"I just wanted to cut the blue wire."
Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien
South African Shadowrun ~~ Summer 1999
Said after everybody had to make sanity checks after seeing a dragon spirit

"Well, if we kill anybody, we've got flowers for them."
Gerald Boice
South African Shadowrun ~~ Summer 1999
Quicksilver steals a flower truck

"Dude, if there's anything there, I can tell if their fly's down."
Wayne Stone
South African Shadowrun ~~ Summer 1999
Following a 29 on a perception roll

"Figures. As soon as a man and a woman get together, a priest gets involved. Must be Mormons."
Charlie Delimata
The Kobold Quest ~~ Summer 1999
Fry (the priest) leaps into wrasslin' combat wiht Mar and Nathan

"While we're waiting, I'm going to do Women's Work on him."
Jay Rost
The Kobold Quest ~~ Summer 1999
Trying to bring Phil's character around

"Don't worry, this is how I got famous."
The Finster [Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien]
The Kobold Quest ~~ Summer 1999
While being swallowed by a huge fish

"Well... wall's real..."
Wayne Stone
AD&D - Wonderful World of Were's campaign ~~ Fall 1999
Comments on Phil's rolling a 1 while his character ran around trying to run into a Displacer Beast

"Would a 13 hit?"
"No."
Charlie Delimata
"How about a 15?"
"No."
Charlie Delimata
"What about a 17?"
Eric Beckman
"That'll hit, roll damage."
Charlie Delimata
"Nah, we were just asking."
"Twerps."
Charlie Delimata
AD&D - Wonderful World of Were's campaign ~~ Fall 1999
Brilliantly finding the A.C. of the target.

"I've got a 40 foot movement."
Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien
"You need more bran, dude."
Eric Beckman
AD&D - Wonderful World of Were's campaign ~~ Fall 1999
AD&D and toilet humor

"Ah! Sweet Juan is loose!"
Charlie Delimata
"Yes! The eater of men!"
Eric Beckman
7th Sea ~~ Spring 2001
Comments on Scott T. H.'s character

"Juan, I think we need to get some gunpowder."
Eric Beckman
"But I don't shoot."
Sweet Juan [Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien]
"Well, you do blow."
Charlie Delimata
7th Sea ~~ Spring 2001
Sigh.

"Maybe our Captain has a dashing streak and we don't know it."
Wayne Stone
"Yeah...dashing our hopes."
Charlie Delimata
7th Sea ~~ Spring 2001
The slime trail tries to rescue a maiden in distress.

"I was going to make some stew for him."
Renee [Phil DeKoning]
"Well, I've got plenty of wood!"
Stephen [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
7th Sea ~~ Spring 2001
After Renee tries to jump Marko's (Gerald's) bones and Stephan watched

"Congratulations. You're starting to develop a slime trail."
Gerald Boice
7th Sea ~~ Spring 2001
to Eric after Eric makes a geraldian comment

"I never assume the position near Sweet Juan."
Wayne Stone
7th Sea ~~ Spring 2001
Good idea

"You're a mailbox."
Wayne Stone
"I'm looking for a female box."
Charlie Delimata
TOON ~~ Spring 2001
Aren't we all?

"The flea was squashed by a cauldron.
I'm a feather pillow.
Charlie's a mailbox.
And Phil is blowing Eric. (Eric was a whistle)
What's wrong with this picture?"
Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien
TOON ~~ Spring 2001
Nothing. That's Toon.

"I'm going to try to transform back."
Eric Beckman
"Are you sure you want to do that while Phil is blowing you?"
Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien
TOON ~~ Spring 2001
Yes, he's still a whistle.

"So, how many plot points was that worth?"
Scott "Dark Scott" Proper
"How do I raise skills?"
Scott "Dark Scott" Proper
TOON ~~ Summer 2001
Obviously getting ready for next week's TOON metagaming conference. Dweeb.

"We've got work to do and we don't need everybody and his Magyar showing up."
Wayne Stone
Hungarian Cthulhu ~~ Summer 2000
Fun with dialects

"If there's something ugly and evil around here, it's not Phil."
Eric Beckman
"If there's something ugly and evil around here it IS Phil."
Charlie Delimata
"But at least he keeps it to himself."
Wayne Stone
Hungarian Cthulhu ~~ Summer 2000
Don't eat Broccoli before roleplaying.

"When you hit him, he gets really pissed."
John
"I ain't exactly dancing the Macarena myself at this point."
Wayne Stone
Boozer's Loozers ~~ Summer 2000
Arena combat

"Well, Rio giveth, and Rio taketh away."
Boozer's Loozers ~~ Summer 2000
Rio's character hits Wayne's character, doing 3 points of damage that he healed earlier

"Get everything out of him he intended to give, did you?"
Wayne Stone
"Yeah, every last ounce."
Gerald Boice
Rocky Mountain Mountin' ~~ Summer 2000
Pigtails used her prior work experience to interrogate a scientist

"I buy my Whoop-Ass in 55 gallon drums."
Wayne Stone
"Yeah, that's why you leave it home all the time."
Things To Do In Greyhawk When You're Undead ~~ Spring 2000
Swish!

"Is there anything in these woods we should worry about?"
Wayne Stone
"Yes, this bad dice roll."
Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien
Things To Do In Greyhawk When You're Undead ~~ Spring 2000
Sometimes the monsters aren't the worst enemy.

"So, does anyone speak Kobold?"
Things To Do In Greyhawk When You're Undead ~~ Spring 2000
Forgetting the species of Eric's Character.

"What Knockers!"
Finus Frogsfur [Bliane Nickerson]
Things To Do In Greyhawk When You're Undead ~~ Spring 2000
Sees a spirit that guards a gateway. Gateway spirit is very female and appears from the waist up.

"BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!"
Wayne Stone
"[singing] M. C. A.!!"
Charlie Delimata
Things To Do In Greyhawk When You're Undead ~~ Spring 2000
Well, at least it was funny at the time.

"Well, it didn't catch the first time, but a little lube helped it in."
Gerald Boice
Swamp Romp ~~ Fall 2001
Setting Trogs on fire with burning spears that took two burning grease spells to light.

"It's late at night and all the Predators are coming out."
Eric Beckman
"Well, I know one Predator that won't be coming out."
Bliane Nickerson
Seattle Shadowrun ~~ Fall 2001
Reminding Wayne that Lone Star siezed his gun for not having a permit.

"It's Daiku or Die young."
Bliane Nickerson
Seattle Shadowrun ~~ Fall 2001
Calling an old character for help.

"It's a good thing you already coughed up your part of the rent."
Bliane Nickerson
Seattle Shadowrun ~~ Fall 2001
Shows what an evil bastard he is after Three Piece gets the crap beaten out of him.

"The hell with this. I need some Intelligence."
Shamus [Wayne Stone]
Seattle Shadowrun ~~ Fall 2001
We think Wayne ment recon.

"Uh-oh. Max iniative. I'm using all my 6's now. This doesn't bode well for later."
"Yes, it does. Shut up."
Bliane Nickerson
Seattle Shadowrun ~~ Fall 2001
Don't jinx it.

"Is that a good gurgling sound or a bad gurgling sound?"
Wayne Stone
Seattle Shadowrun ~~ Fall 2001
Trying to put a positive spin on an NPC in trouble in the bushes.

"Now from what you guys have told me, the one orc told... Oh, I've forgotten his name already!"
Wayne Stone
Seattle Shadowrun ~~ Fall 2001
A character's dead 20 minutes, he fades from his player's memory.

"The room is sparsly furnished..."
"The hell with the architecture, what's here to kill?!"
Dave and the Apre-Henchmen - Hackmaster ~~ Spring 2002
Determining what's important

"You hit like a girl!"
Eric Beckman
Son of Swamp Romp ~~ Spring 2002
Commenting on Wayne's newly female lizardman making an attack.

"Instead of Takao, I'm Tatoo."
Son of Swamp Romp ~~ Spring 2002
(accompanied by groans from Eric...) Noteing the effect of being shrunk during a previous trap.

"You find a coin purse. The sword also radiates."
Gerald Boice
"Isn't that a Hemingway novel?"
Son of Swamp Romp ~~ Spring 2002
Looting a dead half-Ogre using detect magic.

"Taking out the phoenix with a stinger missile - now, that was cool."
Roger Nummerdor
November 22, 2002

"...the joys of fighting women and children."
Johnathon Holroyd
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ November 7, 2002
why these bugbears were easier to kill...

"What? Do you need "seduction?""
Jade/Naomi [T. Luke Renner]
"No, I need you to kill the halfling!"
Max Bolan, Sniper [Roger Nummerdor]
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ November 14, 2002
a small nuisance on the road.

"I'm gonna put that away... it seems you're easily distracted by boobs."
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ November 21, 2002
about a copy of Maxim

"Did you know that there is a flaw in IE?!?"
"Yup. They released it. But I hear there's these things called web browsers they fix most of the problems IE has."
March 11, 2003

"Have you noticed that Microsoft's logo is now a bug?"
Johnathon Holroyd
"But, it's a very pretty bug!"
March 25, 2003
deliberately or not....

"I don't like going places where there's fights anymore... I always loose."
Rory Edwards
March 31, 2003

"Some Honorary Mystery Man. You're losing you decoder ring for this one, pal."
Wayne Stone
The TORGshank Redemption ~~ Fall 2002
Listening to Niar, as Michigan was buried alive

"You hear sounds of blows from the alley."
Eric Beckman
The Forgotten Realm of Game Balance ~~ Fall 2002
(Party procedes to make slurps, "Oh! Oh!" sounds, etc.)
Hooker et al. pounding the crap out of a business man

"I don't know if Charlie will share this with the group, but he gets an omen of a very severe looking blonde woman who is blowing out his torch."
Eric Beckman
"I don't think we know about his image. We don't need to know about someone blowing his torch."
Gerald Boice
The Forgotten Realm of Game Balance ~~ Fall 2002
Charlie's omen while he's out of the room. Double ententres and sarcasm, the twin pillars of our humor.

"It's not likely he'd be dodging after someone bit his nuts off."
Eric Beckman
The Forgotten Realm of Game Balance ~~ Winter 2002
Negating a troll's dex bonus to AC after a natch-20, then a 19 on a ball-biting attack.

"It sure beats sacrificing a virgin on the first stone."
Charlie Delimata
"Depends on what you use to impale her."
Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien
The Forgotten Realm of Game Balance ~~ Winter 2002
Finding the holy objects in the cornerstone in a lighthouse.

"The sewers, why does it always have to be the sewers?"
"Because that's where the shit likes to go."
Gerald Boice
The Forgotten Realm of Game Balance ~~ Spring 2003
Locating the head evil undead.

"You can't die!
Don't you see?
Cause then he'll come
After me!"
The Forgotten Realm of Game Balance ~~ Spring 2003
Not exactly a morale boosting chant

"How are you going to accomplish that?"
Eric Beckman
"With the adrenalin borne of pure terror!"
Charlie Delimata
The Forgotten Realm of Game Balance ~~ Spring 2003
Anchored to the nose of a dragon the size of Manhattan

"We [bugbears] do have 250 words for 'kill,' but only one word for 'love.' Two, if you count 'I love to kill'..."
Charlie Delimata
The Forgotten Realm of Game Balance ~~ Spring 2003
The nuances of the bugbear tongue

"Bliane, don't forget, if they ask, you're gay."
Scott "The Hutt" O'Brien
"[a few seconds later...]
Bliane, don't forget, if they ask, you're gay."
Spring 2003
Being interviewed for a gaming documentary.

"Don't do that to me now, I'm in combat!"
Diana [T. Luke Renner]
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ May 8, 2003

"As a free action, can I think?"
T. Luke Renner
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ May 1, 2003

"All right, who greased the halfling?"
Biko the Grel Barbarian [Keith Seyffarth]
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ May 1, 2003
after Diana got out from under the pile of hobgoblins who had pinned her four times in a row...

"...which makes mating a real trick."
Roger Nummerdor
"Yeah, you've got someone here who's pumping away, and someone six feet over this way trying to go to sleep."
April 17, 2003
I have no idea....

"I never realized Satan had such beady little eyes."
T. Luke Renner
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ April 17, 2003
after being shot down by the GM.

"You look good with that spleen in your hair."
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ April 3, 2003
to Biko after some rather gruesome combat.

"Watch out! Now Phil's gonna karma drain your pen!"
T. Luke Renner
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ April 10, 2003
You just have to have gamed with Phil...

"Biko!! Mage!
I aim my barbarian and... loose!"
Max Bolan, Sniper [Roger Nummerdor]
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ April 10, 2003
after finding the mage

"We can hear you now. Not that it matters, we don't listen."
T. Luke Renner
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ April 17, 2003
as the Fighter, Knight Errant, and Barbarian were charging into battle.

"Just to interrupt..."
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ February 6, 2003
as he was interrupting...

"I think the dragon with the milk maid was better than the ketchup."
T. Luke Renner
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ March 20, 2003

"I'd recommend a withdrawl, but I think we're winning..."
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ March 20, 2003

"Do you put the word out that you're in search of adventurers?"
"No, I put the word out that I'm in search of ... wiskey."
Biko the Grel Barbarian [Keith Seyffarth]
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ February 6, 2003
as the party got back to civilization.

"The more you kill us, the worse we get... we're like cockroaches."
Roger Nummerdor
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ February 6, 2003
after he intorduced his latest protigee...

"You appeared to be a man in need of assistance... or at least you appeared to be in need of assistance."
February 6, 2003
to Phil

"I got a wizzard?!? I hit it over the head with a pirate!"
Biko the Grel Barbarian [Keith Seyffarth]
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ February 6, 2003
killing pirates... they attacked us, so it's all right.

"This brings us to a strange scenario... for the next few weeks, when we're asleep, we'll have to rest."
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ March 6, 2003
figuring out how to deal with the damage that was dealt out in the dream world differently than that which was dealt out in the real world...

"This may be the first time anyone has caused an allergic reaction in a shellfish..."
Roger Nummerdor
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ February 20, 2003
After stabbing the giant oyster with the dagger of hives.

"Oh... Please stop dancing."
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ March 6, 2003

"Oh shit! The spider's a mage!"
Max Bolan, Sniper [Roger Nummerdor]
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ March 6, 2003
Casting a spell to appear around one giant spider, then attack the others in full view of the mage-hating barbarian.

"Do you want to carry over?"
"Can I carry over to Max?"
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ March 6, 2003
where will the damage do the most good... or the least harm...

"We are temporarily experiencing magical effects. Do not attempt to adjust your hit points..."
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ March 6, 2003

"Watch out, this guy's got bad breath."
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ March 20, 2003
it was some kind of nasty undead with a nasty breath attack...

"Therefore, by logical things: bitch hurt us bad, us = bitch, us hurt them bad."
Max Bolan, Sniper [Roger Nummerdor]
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ March 20, 2003
Trying to explain the reason to go back to the barbarian.

"No, a lot of stuff comes out of cows."
Johnathon Holroyd
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ March 20, 2003

"Oddly enough, cows don't make much butter around a dragon."
Roger Nummerdor
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ March 20, 2003
when do cows make butter?

"Hey, if we want our own breath weapon, we can just grab the cow by the tail and swing it around a bit..."
T. Luke Renner
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ March 20, 2003
What?!?!?

"I'm leery of anything that is going to try to write HTML for me, because there is the whole gambit of HTML editors out there - FrontPage at the worst of the worst all the way up to GoLive and Dreamweaver at the best but only marginally better level."
March 13, 2001
About the quality of HTML produced by the supposed web design tools available on the market.

"Look! This is not a fight to the death. Just chop his head off!"
Jeanna [Laura (Sing) Schneider]
March 14, 2001
In the middle of a fight to the death apparently.

"At least it's against you, Keith"
T. Luke Renner
"No, actually, it's against you, Luke."
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ January 1, 2003
Retreating from Gargoyles who are shredding the party...

"They're going to kill me!"
Johnathon Holroyd
"That'll wake you up."
Roger Nummerdor
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ February 6, 2003
Attacking the character who was a heavy sleeper...

"If I'm specialized in long bow, do I have to be proficient with it?"
T. Luke Renner
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ February 12, 2003
In Hackmaster, who knows?

"My God! It's after Martin!"
Max Bolan, Sniper [Roger Nummerdor]
"Who's Martin? Oh, that's me!"
T. Luke Renner
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ March 6, 2003
Character names can be difficult.

"Take eleven points from magic missile."
"Ah Ha! If he can hit me with that, he should be in range!"
Johnathon Holroyd
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ March 27, 2003
Upsides, downsides...

"What's your armor class, Wiz-boy?"
The Fellowship of the Axe - Hackmaster ~~ April 3, 2003
AC's around -10 breed contempt.

"Are you grumpy already this morning?"
Patti Neerken
"Am I grumpy? No, this is the first time I've seen you today."
Rory Edwards
May 21, 2003
First thing in the morning at work...

"One thing that is cool about ispell is that it forces you to get better at spelling. When it finds a word that is not in the dictionary, it gives you matches that are off by 1 character or 1 transposition, but doesn't assume that 'echolalia' should have been 'each old alley' as Word will."
April 20, 2001
One more reason not to use Micro$oft Office...

"You're still here?!?!?"
"Yeah, that's cause MarketFirst is being slow."
Rory Edwards
"You can say that again, probably before MarketFirst gets around to doing whatevery you asked of it..."
June 2, 2003
at a quarter after 5

"So, what happens when your brain goes completely numb?"
Shelby (Kirksey) Nordhagen
"That's when you start loosing feeling in your toes."
June 4, 2003
about an incredibly repetitive task at work

"Would it be weird to say, 'My brilliance is effervessing?'"
June 5, 2003
it was one of those days at work

"My favorite group of emacs error message:
'You can run [command you just ran] using [far more complicated and imposible to remember keyboard shortcut]'"
January 8, 2002

"Yeah, my .elisp directory would be cool to have, too..."
"OK, I can get that."
Ben Nelson
"You use emacs?!?"
"You have no idea. Keith lives and dies by emacs."
Ben Nelson
"There are unix applications other than emacs?"
"Yes..."
"What would you use them for?"
"Avoiding carpel tunnel!"
March 6, 2002
The ordeal of migrating from one server to another...

"Humans do it all the time, only without the duct tape."
July 21, 1997

"I think I strained my Ewok."
July 21, 1997

"How many manequens do I have?"
August 11, 1997

"They don't disorient me now that I became an English major."
August 11, 1997

"If you don't pick at it, it won't scar good... [pause]... Chicks dig scars."
Rory Edwards
July 2, 2003
Don't ask.

"Actually, I was trying to get you up... (I take the ring (of invisibility) off)... that should help."
Rebecca "Becks the Great" Russell
AD&D (1st Edition) ~~ July 3, 2003
innuendo

"This is a stupid idea... I get in the room with him."
AD&D (1st Edition) ~~ July 3, 2003

"It's cute and all, but I really don't want to touch it..."
July 4, 2003

"I thought I was a dog, and I expected it to be all wet and sloppy, but it wasn't, so I don't know if I am a cat."
Rebecca "Becks the Great" Russell
July 4, 2003
On why she didn't lick my stubbly face again...

"You think he can protect you?"
"No, I think I can use him as a human shield."
July 5, 2003

"You're very entertaining."
Rebecca "Becks the Great" Russell
"Why?"
"Because you just stand there and smile when I entertain myself with you."
Rebecca "Becks the Great" Russell
July 5, 2003
Hugging people with both arms full...

"Skunk!"
"[THUNK]
Not any more."
Trevor "Cheb" Ostenson
July 2, 2003
Conversation at 75MPH.

"Random fits of MarketFirst..."
Shelby (Kirksey) Nordhagen
July 31, 2003
After the system mysteriously came back up when the typical fix was applied twice.

"How can a CD be 'Top Secret!' if you're spamming about it?"
July 31, 2003
The subject lines of prolific and pervasive unsolicited email messages...

"I disagree! I disagree! It's my right ... as a woman!"
July 19, 2003
It was funny at the time... now it just kinda sounds weird.

"In a system with 'bad stuff' there has to be 'good stuff' too..."
"Not in Call of Cthulhu."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ August 7, 2003
About the merits of various gaming systems...

"We try to distribute everything fairly."
Eric Beckman
"I have the passenger, you have the cred stick, and he has the cops..."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ August 7, 2003
Giving everyone their fair share. (From each according to his abilities, to each according to their needs?)

"We had a pretty good summer - It didn't snow once!"
Michelle Manry
September 17, 2003
It was snowing, and 'summer' doesn't end until September 23...

"My, this table is messy."
Nancy Kelly
"I have power tools here I can strike you with..."
Jason Triantis
September 24, 2003
Trying to have a meeting where new wiring was being installed...

"In roughly ten minutes, I'm gonna know the answers to most questions."
Rory Edwards
October 15, 2003
He was just sitting there... I have no idea what was going on.

"I got to say 'dainty;' shut up."
October 26, 2003

"I want the truth, but I don't like the truth. I can't handle the truth."
October 26, 2003

"What is your teddy bear's name?"
"Pillage?"
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
"Noooooooo!"
Jennifer Nichols
October 31, 2003

"Let's not have any Nazgul Toga parties."
October 31, 2003

"I have arm hair, it just smells really bad."
July 10, 2000
After the fiasco with the lighter

"It's okay; it's a girl joke. You are playing a girl, you can laugh."
October 31, 2003
A male GM to a male player

"Aroooo! A call of nature!"
October 31, 2003

"Does it help if I have customers?"
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 26, 2003
trying to make a living...

"Well, can we still do the 'porking?'"
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 16, 2003
Bad (very bad) handwriting on the map...

"If you're looking for your sanity, it got thrown out with the trash a long time ago... If you're looking for some Cheese Nips, we have none."
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 13, 2003

"We've got a portal to the dark forces, and instead of trying to destroy it, we're using it to rob Fuchi."
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 16, 2003
When the ghouls kept coming out from under the beat-up van, and the group was contemplating not eradicating them, but putting them to profitable use...

"Use the forks, Luke."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 13, 2003
Forks in hand.

"How well do you know the vehicle?"
"Carnally."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 13, 2003
That had been established a few sessions back...

"Luke, roll intelligence... you can use combat pool for this."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 13, 2003
It was a very combat related intelligence thing... even though they were not really in combat yet. It did work to get everyone in a panic. :)

"Oh! Let me tell you the story!"
Kender Priestess [Eric Beckman]
"Just give us the Cliff Notes."
Charlie Delimata
The Kender Bender ~~ Fall 2003
Annoying NPC's.

"...Looks like a cave no smart person would enter."
Eric Beckman
"AH HA! But I'm not smart, am I?"
Charlie Delimata
The Kender Bender ~~ Fall 2003
We think he meant his character.

"[Storms into room, grabs a sheet of notes]
F**king cursed items!
[Storms out...]"
Charlie Delimata
The Kender Bender ~~ Fall 2003
Dealing with the GM in secret.

"So, Phil, you'd have to Resist a 38DD."
"I can't."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 13, 2003
Damage code from having a building dropped on you, not better things.

"There's a word for it, but I don't remember what it is. I'm growing stupid!"
Tyson Trebesch
"So Elliot, what are you working on now?"
Doug Warner
"I'm with stupid."
March 29, 2001

"I have a critically successful Halean on my lap!"
Kaifer 'Wolf' Ironblood [Roger Nummerdor]
Quint's Research Project - HarnMaster in Ivinia ~~ February 12, 2004

"Is he cute?"
"NO. He looks like a potato."
Quint's Research Project - HarnMaster in Ivinia ~~ February 12, 2004

"Yeah, but I like to solve my problems with a chainsaw."
February 16, 2004

"Missiles do not behave the way bullets do."
Scott "Dark Scott" Proper
"And heads do not behave the way cars do."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Shadowrun ~~ Spring 1997

"I am not in any way stating tht it's good or anything, just that I own it."
May 14, 1999

"I think the problem with this couple is that they're from different movies."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
May 14, 1999

"Look! It's raining hunky blonds!"
May 14, 1999

"This is food. ... Although it looks like rat poison, it's food."
Rory Edwards
February 25, 2004
about the little plastic-wrapped cheese and breadstick snack thing he was eating...

"I would be surprised to say the least to see Quint budding."
September 0, 2002

"I strip him down to his bones!"
Evan [James Ekert]
"How?"
Matt Eberle
"I've got a sword!"
Evan [James Ekert]
Solaria ~~ 2002

"If I was a naughty little kobold-I could just go ZIIIING!!"
James Ekert
2002

"I know this place-it's Kurble the Bog!"
James Ekert
2002

"So, what happens when you apply Primal Order to TRON?"
2002

"I added the first Laura quote to the database today. I would have thought she would have said something funny in the last ten years..."
April 13, 2002
talking to Carrie

"Now if the paladin asks we're "dispensing high justice.""
Matt Hosking
Birthright - 2002ish ~~ Fall 2002

"Space appears to be more powerful than time because space can be reused, whereas time cannot."
Spring 1997
Page 278
Introduction to the Theory of Computation, Michael Sipser, © 1997 PWS Publishing Company

"I'm collecting parse errors like a bad habit."
January 27, 2004

"Dude, us geeks will inherit the earth. ~ Unfortunately, we will only have read access, and that my friends will suck..."
October 11, 2003

"I remember something new everyday."
April 7, 2004

"Why do people ask me if I own a Mac or a PC, that's like saying do you own a VW bug or a car."
"I would take the VW Bug over the car."
Kim Harland
"Yeah but what if the "car" is a BMW?"
"Then that's nothing like saying do you own a Mac or PC."
Kim Harland
February 22, 2003

"$clue = !empty($brain) ? $thoughts : NULL;"
Fall 2003
Response to someone who sent Thomas php code that was broken and not logical at all in an email.

"When last we met our intrepid heroes, ..."
"They left and we showed up."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 4, 2004
Getting back into the swing of things after a few weeks off...

"How about I conjure myself a fragging bandaid!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 29, 2004
After having problems with a conjuration on the fringes of a mana storm in the middle of the outback, which resulted in a serious physical wound...

"I hate lizards!"
"Yes, but which do you hate more: lizards, or..."
"Or sentry drones?..."
"OK, or sentry drones, or..."
"Or strippers?..."
"No, not strippers. Or helecoptors?"
"Well, I prefer to stay on the ground, so my favorite would be... um ... strippers!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 29, 2004
One day, Buckwheat gets to go on a helecoptor ride that encounters some bad (really bad) turbulence, that night he gets to spend with two attractive, female 'exotic entertainment specialists' in a fancy hotel in Alice Springs, and the next day he's out in the outback helping to (or at least trying to help) fight off some kind of giant lizard.

"Something's wrong!"
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
"Something's wrong with this whole damn trip!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 29, 2004
Those who are magically active got a bad feeling as the mana storm got nearer.

"So what's the atmosphere like?"
Anthony LaMonaca
"Oxygen, Nitrogen, a little CO2..."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 15, 2004
Clarifying the description of the Bar...

"Just because you're brave doesn't mean you heal fast."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 1, 2004
Sad, but true.

"It's like we're the Three Stooges, but we're missing our third stooge."
Michelle Manry
June 24, 2004
overheard from an office...

"Their user interface sucks, dude."
Rory Edwards
July 14, 2004
Reading a resume where the applicant was proud of having helped to build the Verisign credit card processing product interface, which, unfortunately, we had been using...

"It's like beef, but drier"
Thomas Lackey
August 10, 2004
On his recently discovered beef jerky.

"I was thinking of a Backstreet Boy, with their wacky beards, not intentionally slandering nonheterosexuals."
August 11, 2004
after a comment in an email message using a non-politically correct term for "nonheterosexuals."

"On Thursday night I asked my friend if she wanted to get up early on Saturday to do this, and she gave me this look like I just asked permission to kill her cats."
Alison "Ali" Piper
August 16, 2004
About why she didn't get up early to help with the Sweet Pea run...

"I love <div>'s!"
Tejeshwara "Tej" Chigateri
June 29, 2006
Learning HTML

"I love standards--so many to choose from."
September 2, 2004
after a discussion of a web vendor who proudly declared that the 'standard' was to send images as insecure content on secure pages to save load time (rather than shrinking the images) despite the warnings that any properly configured browser will display...

"This code is surprisingly well commented... I'm fixing that."
September 3, 2004
I was just fixing the fact that the php was commented with HTML comments... honest.

"Dammit Thomas, I'm going to have to buy you your own computer that you can reboot whenever you want to."
June 10, 2004

"Another thing I was able to clear up. with a little help from Johnathon..."
"Gonorrhea?"
June 10, 2004
Actually, I don't remember what it was...

"But you'd make a cute fag..."
Sarah Hargrove
August 10, 2004
About Elliot getting his beard waxed and trimmed down to boy-band style groomed facial hair...

"It's not a go-gang, it's more of a stop-gang."
Quithus [Johnathon Holroyd]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ July 7, 2004
About the motorcycle gang who had set up a toll-blocade along the highway...

"If your essence goes below 0, then you're most definitely cyberpsychotic. So, you're unaware of your humanity, you lose awareness of ethics and morals..."
"And you become a disk jockey."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ June 24, 2004
Explaining why essence was important to new players...

"I need to see... Well, I guess I don't need to see your driver's license since you're manifestly not driving, but I do need to know the names of those in the vehicle, as well as your destination... And what the hell happened to the left side of this car..."
Australian Highway Cop (NPC) [Keith Seyffarth]
"Batchelor party."
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ June 24, 2004
As the officer first noticed that Giggy was not a rigger, and that the vehicle did not have manual controls, then realized that the passenger side of the vehicle was seriously ravaged (by a the side effects of a mana storm, though the cop never found that out...).

"Roll body."
"[after a long pause]... No."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 1, 2004
If only it worked that way.

"What did you roll?"
"They're all...less than...one."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 15, 2004
Gotta hate wound modifiers!

"I didn't ask for this."
"None of us did, but we're here."
Anthony LaMonaca
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 29, 2004
On returning a soda that he didn't want, Philosiphy for free.

"I'm not thinking what you're thinking I'm thinking."
Johnathon Holroyd
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 29, 2004
Hmmm...

"We should commandeer the ship."
"And do what? Run around the ocean doing freelance oceanographic research?"
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ August 5, 2004
How to get the target research scientist off of the Mitsuhama oceanographic research vessle. Not exactly Blackbeard.

"Make a reaction test."
"Do you always choose the things I've got only 2 dice in?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 29, 2004
Wouldn't be too surprising...

"So when can we get paid?"
Raven [T. Luke Renner]
"We don't want money, what we want is karma. Wait...I'm the rigger! We want money!"
QuickSilver [Johnathon Holroyd]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 2, 2004
At least he's honest.

"How much Karma pool do you have left?"
"Three."
T. Luke Renner
"Ah, you're fine!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 2, 2004
Being targeted by a pop-up turret.

"My favorite there [Cafe Zydeco] is the very misnamed 'gutbuster' sandwich. It was great. What should have been called the 'gutbuster' was the jambalaya along with a half a pitcher of margaritas."
"Ummm... What were you thinking?"
"Something similar to: "Jambalaya hot. Mouth burning. Cool liquid.""
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 16, 2004
About dinner plans for the group.

"What's this "RE-port?"
Chris "CJ" Jackson
"You're done."
Rory Edwards
July 30, 2004
The new guy trying to figure out the complicated marketing automation application... and being shot down by the guy showing him.

"I'm not going to say anything stupid."
October 22, 2004
Why she hadn't been quoted yet...

"Why is funny floating so difficult?"
"Because you have to breathe right."
September 12, 2004

"I could go off on a rant here, but I wont."
October 22, 2004
Having just read an interview with Bill Gates, and then having written a several page ... commentary.

"They named it imap_8bit. Why didn't they call it something memorable - like quoted or printable or even mangled_unreadable..."
September 12, 2004
Having recently dug up the function in php to convert a block of text into a quoted/printable block of text for more reliable transfer by email.

"They need a distraction."
Raven [T. Luke Renner]
"Would this be a 'blow up the building across the street' or a 'seduce the secretary so she's not looking' distraction?"
QuickSilver [Johnathon Holroyd]
"Kinda both..."
Raven [T. Luke Renner]
"So, blow up the secretary so she's not looking?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 16, 2004
The job Raven had just committed the group to...

"You can put a lot of Krispy Kreems in a truck."
QuickSilver [Johnathon Holroyd]
"You can put a lot of doughnuts in a cop!"
Raven [T. Luke Renner]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 30, 2004
Setting up a Lone Star distraction.

"Were you making out with the fire extinguisher?"
"Yes."
T. Luke Renner
"Dude! Get a blow-up doll!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 4, 2004
Well, he was the one who pointed out the lip prints on the glass in front of the fire extinguisher next to my apartment door - and that they were at about the right height for him...

"It's kinda fun to say "Roll bod," isn't it?"
"No."
Johnathon Holroyd
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 16, 2004
Ahhh... ShadowRun...

"Look what I brought! Now I can erase my whole character sheet!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 27, 2004
He brought an eraser...

"OK, here's what we're gonna do... And this is going to work!"
Chris "CJ" Jackson
December 8, 2004
Working in MarketFirst...

"There's a blob... there's a littler blob... Stonehenge!"
December 31, 2004
While playing Cranium. I was trying to build Stonehenge out of modeling clay...

"Not every place can be Stonehenge."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
December 31, 2004
While playing Cranium. It was another sculpting question...

"You did warn him that we were a bunch of freaks..."
"No, I just figured he had some common sense."
Rebecca "Becks the Great" Russell
January 1, 2005
Becky introducing a friend from Alaska...

"I'm big, but I know when to cry."
Robert White [Shantel Hosking]
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
Having just been shot twice in the chest...

"So, you're down to two daggers and a rifle, and I'm up to a frying pan, a knife, and a dog."
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
Preparing for combat...

"Now, we're going to roll for the vomit."
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
Some things just best left unsaid...

"Oh, he's just communing with the dead."
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
We had been hired to deal with demons and people summoning demons...

"Either the cooks have drastically improved thier abilities overnight..."
Ella [Matt Hosking]
"Or we're eating the dog."
Ashley Grelfin [Keith Seyffarth]
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
The dog had been shot in the combat in the dining room the evening before.

"She's a millitant nun. What do you expect?"
Father Artos [Aric ]
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
The nun was wearing pistols at her hip at breakfast...

"I'm not planning on sailing out of Spain."
Jacob Vaun (NPC) [Greg Schneider]
"And I'm not planning on getting assassinated in a dark tavern."
Ella [Matt Hosking]
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
Leery of the meeting in a random sea-front bar.

"Most pawns don't know what their masters want."
Jacob Vaun (NPC) [Greg Schneider]
"Mostly just clean clothes."
Ashley Grelfin [Keith Seyffarth]
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
The servants do know...

"I hope to find the small grain of truth in you."
Ella [Matt Hosking]
"And I in you."
Roland Thrush (NPC Journalist) [Greg Schneider]
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
The journalist having just been explaining that there is a small grain of truth in all news.

"She's just a victim of circumstance, just like you are about to be."
Matt Hosking
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
While the weak-willed priest was trying to teach the courtesan the error of her ways (in the privacy of his room on the luxury steamer).

"The big elf has a skillet!"
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
Preparing for combat...

"Combat!!"
Robert White [Shantel Hosking]
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
Need we say more?

"I probably should have cast the steel skin spell before all this..."
Ella [Matt Hosking]
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
Having been shot repeatedly for casting a fire spell on the demon pirate captain.

"It wasn't a war between England and Spain, it was a war between Good and Evil..."
Jacob Vaun (NPC) [Greg Schneider]
"So, it was England and France!"
Ella [Matt Hosking]
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
Shallow minded PCs.

"It's Spain, there has to be an inquisition or something, right?"
Father Artos [Aric ]
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
Looking for a place to extrace a confession from a necromancer.

"Father, I have another confesson to make. I burned a man at the stake today..."
Sister Rosina Fasoli [Laura (Sing) Schneider]
Greg's Victoriana/Riddle of Steel One-Shot ~~ January 1, 2005
Having caught the bad guy, tried him, and executed him for his crimes...

"I kinda gotta go, they're in combat and Luke's gonna die..."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 30, 2004
Getting a phone call in the middle of game...

"I just get scowls when I try to pun."
"Yeah, but all of your puns are about nipples."
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 16, 2004

"Your not going to let me dunk my balls in it, are you?"
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ January 2, 2005
Something about dunking shot in holy water... get your mind out of the gutter.

"It's just a scratch...a really deep scratch that hurts alot."
Father Guisseppi Maldunado [Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.]
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ January 2, 2005
the padre's responce on receiving a dramatic wound

"That's an interesting name."
"Clacy? Like 'Lacey' with a 'C.'"
"Or, like 'Tracy'... without the 'T'... or the 'R'..."
January 5, 2005
hmmm...

"If I'm going to blow you up, I'll let you know."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 18, 2004

"Yeah, that's when me and Ziggy go out the front door."
T. Luke Renner
"Giggy! Not Ziggy!"
"[Keith snorts pop into his nose.] Cream soda hurts."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 18, 2004
Get the names right, then!

"There seems to be a crane barrelling - for sufficently broad definitions of barrelling - toward the van."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 2, 2004
You find weapons where you can.

"I killed him once, I can kill him again."
"That's true."
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 2, 2004
Unfortunatly they keep coming back.

"We don't keep our developers in the dark. They do that to themselves..."
January 6, 2005
Illumination issues in the engineering building...

"Hey! It's make Chris's heart hurt soup today!"
January 7, 2005
About the clam chowder being offered for lunch.

"There are several companies vying for the not quite sure it's beer product."
Andrew Hull
January 7, 2005
Discussing cheapest beers...

"Hopefully, she won't rape you in the front seat of your car like the last one."
"Actually, I'm hoping she will."
Joe Edwards
January 9, 2005
After Joe explained how he had [successfully] asked this girl on a date...

"That's not grape, That's peat moss!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 13, 2005
About the smell of Mountain Dew Pitch Black.

"You know, Elliot, there comes a time in every man's life when he starts to notice changes in his body..."
T. Luke Renner
"How would you know?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 13, 2005

"Sorry 'bout the chili, dude..."
"My God, man, don't fart! You're fighting a fire elemental!"
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 13, 2005
About the effects of the current environment on Giggy's bloodhound nose phys-ad ability - and what whom had been eating that day...

"What are you doing on 4?"
"Same thing I do every time... fail."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 13, 2005
Once again, gotta hate wound modifiers...

"My recommendation would be that you not rub anything."
January 19, 2005
...

"Be careful, I'm vicious when I'm backed into a corner."
Chris "CJ" Jackson
"No, Chris, you're backed into a chair... with wheeles."
January 19, 2005
Threatening to slap him from across the cubicle partition...

"You could stand on the shoulders of great people."
"No, I'm scared of heights."
January 21, 2005
Talking about work.

"I don't have to dress up, I've got data."
Prof. Robin Shropshire
UMHelena Tech 203, Physical Science II, UM-HCT ~~ January 21, 2005
her explaination as to why she didn't have to wear a suit to teach class

"This is while we are waiting in line for our daily dose of salvation."
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ January 9, 2005
some people get so bored attending Castillian weddings

"I'd run away, but, I'm like, bleeding and stuff."
Strange Day's (Uknown Armies/Lloyd's one-shot) ~~ January 20, 2005
Barbecued salmon falling from the sky and private investigator's getting shot rescuing the girl... [sigh] don't you love role playing?

"So you open the thing...now role intitiative!"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Strange Day's (Uknown Armies/Lloyd's one-shot) ~~ January 20, 2005
Scott opened the chest...

"It tendril-whips you."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Strange Day's (Uknown Armies/Lloyd's one-shot) ~~ January 20, 2005
the chest's reaction to being opened

"No, he doesn't like this one bit!"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
"Yeah, his host body is running away!"
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Strange Day's (Uknown Armies/Lloyd's one-shot) ~~ January 20, 2005
tenticle monsters hate it when you run

"... You know, where trolls get their underthings..."
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
"...and dildos..."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 20, 2005
Figuring out where to shop for lingerie for a woman with atypical proportions.

"Her hips and waist aren't that big, it's the edible bra that will kill you."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 20, 2005
What interesting underthings to purchase for an unknown woman of astounding proportions.

"We've got three drawers to fill: plain, romantic, and what the hell??"
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 20, 2005
About the differences in the style of the underwear purchased.

"Does squinting give me a bonus?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 20, 2005
About his astral perception.

"Apparently, it had been fitted to a lawnmower engine."
"OK, who let the rigger have the dildo?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 20, 2005
Sex toys getting dangerous.

"If you are trying to come up with another pun, don't."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 20, 2005
Why not?

"You had a plan, that's no fair."
Bleys O'Brennen [Quint Ringsak]
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ January 23, 2005
whining about how some characters escape and others get hit on the head

"I don't think I'm losing my mind, but..."
Andrew Hull
January 26, 2005
Keeping track of things...

"I don't like change."
"Is that why you always use credit cards?"
January 27, 2005
Why she chose the same table for lunch.

"Fresh Bread... It's the best smell to sell stuff."
T. Luke Renner
"As opposed to ferrits and dog shit, which is probably the worst."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 27, 2005
About how Quicksilver could use his tailored pheromones to improve his negotiation.

"What is my new roommate's name?"
"Ming Shei."
"[looks at character sheet]... Other gear..."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 27, 2005
About the former Triad prostitute who the group had rescued, who was now staying at Giggy's place...

"Keith, Did you hear the one you missed?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 27, 2005
About Phil's random movie generator.

"If you want a distraction, you could just alienate the pilot of an incoming plane."
Johnathon Holroyd
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 27, 2005
Getting the plane they were in off the ground without being stopped again.

"Let's just Chuck Yeager this thing."
"You don't Chuck Yeager a C-5!"
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 27, 2005
Outrunning missiles in a cargo plane.

"I'm very determined."
Tune Vo
"We know that, we've known you for over a decade."
"I've changed... [pause]... A teeny bit."
Tune Vo
January 29, 2005
Driving up Hyalite Canyon through the snow.

"I can't drive and talk at the same time, I'm not a woman."
Tune Vo
January 29, 2005
Goint to breakfast.

"I'll have eggs and sausage. I'm easy."
Joshua Wendt
"You're easy?"
Tune Vo
"I didn't mean it that way."
Joshua Wendt
January 29, 2005
Ordering breakfast. Any time is the right time for innuendo.

"Anything you say can and may be quoted against you on the Internet."
January 29, 2005

"So you are telling me I was impregnated by a country?"
Lusciana Montego [Clacy (Garmeson) Olson]
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ January 29, 2005
this was her responce to being told that the Horned King was the physical embodiment of Avalon, no one mentioned this before she caught on the Flying Hunt

"I still need help."
Chaundera Wolfe
"I know nothing."
"That's OK, I know."
Chaundera Wolfe
"Actually, I do know one thing... the Diet Coke machine is out of Diet Coke."
February 3, 2005
issues with Excel

"We're goin' to Claire's, buddy!"
Radd Icenoggle
February 2, 2005
Deciding I needed another ear piercing for good behavior...

"I hate staring into windows."
Julie Kmetzo
"You could try a different operating system."
February 4, 2005
Preparing for a meeting and debating whether the blinds should be opened...

"Chris, quit lowering Tonia's self esteem!"
Chaundera Wolfe
February 8, 2005

"Let me tell you about that big organ we found in the Fairy realm."
Bleys O'Brennen [Quint Ringsak]
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ February 7, 2005
uhm...it's a long story

"Well, I think we're further along than we think we are."
Radd Icenoggle
February 8, 2005
After a project planning meeting.

"I feel I have been violated by the graphical editor..."
Chris "CJ" Jackson
February 10, 2005
Dealing with the nuances of a graphical interface HTML generator.

"OK, I'm following discretely...on a really loud motorcycle."
Shantel Hosking
February 7, 2005
Shantel's being sneaky

"I split someone's bone in half."
Ryan Schneider
"OK, you can sit over there."
Laura (Sing) Schneider
January 13, 2005
He's 5, you get him to explain it.

"I attempt to look like a Gargoyle."
Bleys O'Brennen [Quint Ringsak]
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ February 13, 2005
What else are you going to do when you've been spotted by the castle guard.

"We could create a snake mortar."
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 24, 2005
How to use 250 garter snakes to create a diversion...

"I suppose we could light her on fire..."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 24, 2005
Other ways to get past the secretary...

"No, we probably should have brought guns."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 24, 2005
The things you think of once you encounter the bad guys.

"Dude, babes don't like to be called 'chicks.'"
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
"I think you should throw a 'you sexist bastard' into that for good measure."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 24, 2005
Useless banter...

"Do you think you'd know I was here if you didn't know?"
Chris "CJ" Jackson
March 3, 2005
ummm...

"I'm not responsible for a subcontinent."
David Morse
March 2, 2005
The accents of some tech support people outside of the continental US...

"I'm gonna copy this so that we have good JavaScript that works."
Chris "CJ" Jackson
"You said good and javascript in the same sentence."
March 4, 2005
javascript...

"It turns out that I'm a lot smarter than I give myself credit for..."
Chris "CJ" Jackson
March 7, 2005
conversations at work...

"It's going to be the strangest thing that ever happened to them. You're going to steal their car and take it home for them."
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 20, 2005
Trying to steal a car to get into a gated community to do recon.

"What was your perception roll?"
"4, 4, 4, 3"
"But the extra 4's stage that up from mod perception to serious."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 20, 2005
If only it worked that way.

"I don't bicker."
"Well, not without a weapon."
Putting the aspiring militant in her place.

"OK, it's official. You geeks are nothing like accounting people."
Rebecca Heinz
"Yeah, what do you mean?"
"You'll never hear an accounting person say Come here, hug me, I smell like sweat."
Rebecca Heinz
March 24, 2005
Overhearing conversations in cube-land...

"They've been victimized by a thesaurus!"
April 13, 2005
In response to a spam title

"Sort of like mana, but different..."
Garrett Stevens
April 14, 2005
About four year old gum that people were throwing over cubicle walls...

"Note: ServerContextFactory.java uses unchecked or unsafe operations.
Note: Recompile with -Xlint:unchecked for details."
"Um, ok.
It should read:
Note: java uses unchecked or unsafe operations.
Note: Recompile in another language."
March 27, 2005
...geeks

"Lots of things about this project make me think of the square peg, round hole analogy. Specifically, I feel like we force a square peg in a round hole and then try to undo the damage on the other side."
April 27, 2005

"But they were fashionable parachute pants."
Chris "CJ" Jackson
"Fashionable parachute pants? Is that like the good javascript you referenced a couple of weeks ago?"
April 28, 2005
hmmm...

"I walk around saying 'Hi,' to everyone on board."
"I walk around saying 'yes,' to everyone on board."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 14, 2005
How much Japanese their characters knew...

"I don't need Karma Pool, I'm invisible."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 14, 2005
Interesting thought...

"I could buy thirty-three skills at one die each."
"That's enough to order beer in thrity-three languages."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 28, 2005
Spending Karma.

"...then I threw away the skin and the fat, all that good stuff..."
July 12, 2005
about the chicken soup she had made.

"A web designer is part control freak and part Zen master."
July 18, 2005
Controling what you can and dealing with what you can't in CSS, HTML, and XML...

"If I give it a style of 'display: none;' I guess that's a verbose way of not putting it in the document."
July 18, 2005
Using CSS to hide information...

"Talking to you is like talking to thin air."
Lusciana Montego [Clacy (Garmeson) Olson]
"No. No he's definatly much thicker then that."
Luc Monforte [Scott "Great Scott" Furois]
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ July 24, 2005

"You only get drama dice for smart ideas. That's not fair."
Bleys O'Brennen [Quint Ringsak]
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ July 24, 2005
Some people just can't remember getting drama dice for shooting the daughter of Queen Mab in the chest.

"The only sleep I've gotten in 3 days was in a coach that was attacked by zombies."
Bleys O'Brennen [Quint Ringsak]
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ February 27, 2005
Queen Mab attacked Avalon on our way back to Carleon.

"I am not, as a man of the cloth, going to recommend diabolism to my friends."
Father Guisseppi Maldunado [Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.]
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ March 20, 2005
Priests are so narrow minded

"Reconoiter?"
Laura (Sing) Schneider
"Ya...I'm going to put a barrel of explosives on the roof."
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ May 8, 2005
GM's ask silly questions.

"We don't cut peoples arms off for stealing. We cut peoples heads off for thinking about stealing."
Luc Monforte [Scott "Great Scott" Furois]
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ July 31, 2005
Ain't Montaign justice grand?

"Is that a diet Cheeze-Nip?"
Chris "CJ" Jackson
August 9, 2005
you shouldn't look a gift Cheese-Nip in the mouth?

"Well, like last time, they went into the freezer a short while after coming out of the oven, so, once they thaw out, they should still be warm. "
August 23, 2005
about his cookies...

"I beleive in God. I just think that if God wants us to save the world, he's going to have to overlook a few things."
Lusciana Montego [Clacy (Garmeson) Olson]
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ August 21, 2005
Responding to the Padre's reluctance at blessing a shipful of water, then letting people drink it.

"Evening dawns."
Laura (Sing) Schneider
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ August 21, 2005
The GM was really tired.

"That's not lying, it's marketing."
Mike Myer
September 7, 2005
Why the technical presentations were edited for clarity by non-technical people.

"Keith, don't tell me you're allergic to people putting things on your head!"
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
November 25, 2005
Trying various garlands and tinsels as toupees while Clacy was shopping for Christmas decorations was making me sneeze... Fun at Wally-World.

"I think I've just been violated by the Pilsbury Dough Boy."
November 26, 2005
Having seen a recent Pilsbury commercial featuring the famed animation...

"I don't know what I was doing this weekend. I made all kinds of mistakes!"
December 12, 2005
The joys of working from home over the weekend...

"It's amazing, the things I have in my drawers."
November 18, 2005
Looking through her desk... What did you think?

"This is a weird place."
Emily Sorensen
November 18, 2005
Walking in on the middle of a conversation...

"It's always fun to tell people you were a hooker."
Garrett Stevens
November 21, 2005
About positions in rugby.

"It's almost like asking politely."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 1, 2005

"Hey, ya wanna go in the bushes for old time's sake?"
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
"Honey, I haven't had near enough to drink yet."
Michelle [T. Luke Renner]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 15, 2005
Apparently it's easier to get lucky with the NPCs than with the PCs...

"With a girlfriend like that, I'd stay home too."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 15, 2005
Whether someone was just late or was staying home because of bad weather. (Not that there's be bad weather in Montana.)

"The look on Phil's face... I don't know if it was from the pasta or finally exposing your character to someone new!"
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 1, 2005
Finally getting a new player...

"You know they'll have to shave your head for that."
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
"What? Why?!?"
Michelle [T. Luke Renner]
"Where do you think they put synaptic accelerators? In your left breast?"
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 17, 2005
Characters going in for surgery...

"My God! We're getting worse!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 8, 2005
Getting the session further derailed than usual.

"I have a charisma of 2! I'm doin' great in my own opinion."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 6, 2005
After being criticized for a bad interaction between his character and an NPC.

"Ah! A concussion grenade is a concussion grenade."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 14, 2005
Tracking down what his equipment was...

"I'm protecting them!"
T. Luke Renner
"From What? Andres?"
"No! Phil's karma!"
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 14, 2005
Luke's teeny dice...

"I got Johnny up to grade 4."
"What kind of porn were you looking at?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 8, 2005
Talking about an old mage character - not exactly what I meant.

"What would be the powers of a sheep shaman?"
"I don't know, but it would be baaaaaaaaad."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 8, 2005
[Sigh] That's our humor, though.

"Excuse me Sir, sorry for the inconvience..."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 8, 2005
No idea... But apparently it was really funny.

"Why did you come here from Bejing?"
Rainbow [Andres Munoz]
"Better dental benefits. ...[joke falls flat]... It's something Phil would say!!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 22, 2005
Yes, but it wasn't said with Phil's lilt.

"You're Betty, right?"
Michelle [T. Luke Renner]
"[Deep voice] Yes."
"Keith, do the femine voice!"
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 22, 2005
Trying to maintain the roleplaying illusion...

"Good. We just sent in the diplomat."
Having just sent the person who just killed the last two armies she went to talk to, to talk to the emperor...

"No, Eric, thatt will put the blood of a god in your stomach."
Jarrod [Quint Ringsak]
When Eric collected some blood from the recently slain god to put in his canteen after being told they could not leave the Paths of the Dead if they did not have the blood of a god flowing through their veins...

"I'm not betting my Psyche against his finger."
Jason Holt
Being threatened with a spell...

"So, it's like a pulmonary enema?"
January 4, 2006
Why people go to Oxygen bars.

"I had this really cool fish once, it lived for a long time and then it died."
Garrett Stevens
January 4, 2006
Looking through a book of aquarium fish.

"No matter how disgusting it is, it still has the power to make me hungry."
Nancy Kelly
January 9, 2006
About the carrot cake with cream cheese frosting which had been sitting out all weekend...

"You see, it's hermetically sealed, and you're a Shaman..."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 19, 2006
Bad ShadowRun puns...

"Just shout if you have any questions. [pause] No, let me rephrase that: Stop asking me questions about the Case Study Database."
Garrett Stevens
January 26, 2006
While working on a data migration project at work...

"Just because I'm irrational doesn't mean I'm not rational!"
January 4, 2006

"Can you even look at that successfully?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 2, 2006
Looking at my new dice bag in the light after Jeffy got his eyes dilated for an eye exam...

"If Timmy gets arrested and we have to complete this run on our own..."
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
"That wouldn't be so bad."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 2, 2006
Inner-party conflict... Isn't it great?

"Using thermographic vision, is there more warmth in her shorts then there should be?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 2, 2006
Timmy was talking to a girl in a bar, Phil had his doubts.

"Submit query?"
"[looking at screen] You didn't spell your name right. "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 2, 2006
Problems with the Pizza Database

"I want 64-bit encryption put on this. I don't want my pizza preferences spread all over the internet!"
"Uh, no. "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 2, 2006
The Pizza Database

"Because once bad things happen, we switch to the metric system. "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 2, 2006
Shadowrun measurements

"The rigger doesn't have Drive!?!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 2, 2006
Well, he's got a good control pool.

"In the end, it all comes down to me."
"It all comes down to the end of the Rainbow. "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 2, 2006
When Fast-Talk rolls go bad.

"You suck. You suck in a completely different way than Andres. "
"Yeah, I'm good looking. "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 2, 2006
Iniative totals

"What happened to it?"
James [NPC Mechanic] [Keith Seyffarth]
"A combination of lack of driving skill and C4 explosive."
Rainbow [Andres Munoz]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 2, 2006
Status of auto repairs

"And why the fuck does the coffin in the back of your car keep buzzing?"
Gena, Car Repainter [NPC] [Keith Seyffarth]
"Oh, that..."
Rainbow [Andres Munoz]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 2, 2006
Just one of those minor and annoying details.

"The frosting is edible plastic."
February 12, 2006
Wal-Mart cupcakes...

"Little kids are a great source of mucous, it's their number-one export."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
February 12, 2006
The necessity of sneeze-guards.

"Do women make fun of each other for how they dress?"
"Oh, yes. Definitely"
Renee Folsom
"Why don't they listen?"
October 19, 2006
Fashion sense?

"Do you know what day it is?"
"Uh... Thursday?"
James "Jeffy" Talbott
"No. It's Karma Point Day!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 16, 2006
Shadowrunners...

"I can't decipher my character sheet."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 22, 2005

"Talking you into summoning demons wasn't hard."
The Fate Witch(with too many alias's) [Greg Schneider]
"Talking me into it again might be tough."
Father Guisseppi Maldunado [Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.]
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ October 8, 2005
discussing the joys of manipulating a priest

"They're going to profit like weasels in a rabbit farm...it sounds better in the original Avalonian."
Bleys O'Brennen [Quint Ringsak]
When bad ideas happen to good characters--7th Seas ~~ October 8, 2005
sometimes things just don't translate

"Show up, kill the realm, leave. That will show you to host portal that might possibly have something to do with our king's death....we think."
Jarrod [Quint Ringsak]
it's not good to be the patsy in a scheme to kill the King of Amber

"Luke, you might want to be careful with those or they might fall in your soda. "
"Guess I'll be playing craps later."
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 13, 2005
Regarding Luke's Tiny Dice

"I kill him."
Rainbow [Andres Munoz]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 13, 2005
After Luke and Phil attempt to B.S. the target and are failing miserably - The first appearance of the rigged sniper rifle in the roof of the van (and it did very, very well).

"Hey, Matt, it's Jenny... No, wait, it's not Jenny. It's Michelle. "
Michelle [T. Luke Renner]
"[to Keith] I'm playing Jenny transfering my call to Michelle."
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 17, 2005
Well, character aliases are tough!

"I'm putting the chloroform on him, nothing related to cats."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 17, 2005
I have no idea, but he was trying to kidnap someone by clamping a soaked cloth over his mouth.

"[Just after Elliot arrives] Look, I'm doing homework. "
"I dropped out of school!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 19, 2006
Touche! ( Also the first quote of 2006! )

"Well, if it blows up, then we get to go to India!!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 19, 2006
Other plot threads beckon while opening up a box that's part of the current one.

"[To Elliot:] There's someone standing in the shadows in the other direction. [pause] ... [more pause] ... [Keith nudges Elliot with his foot]"
"Huh?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 19, 2006
Always a pain when the teacher catches you not paying attention!

"Roll Initative"
"[Excited] 21! [Sees Keith's roll of 23] [Dejected] Oh..."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 19, 2006
Someone out-initatived a rigger.

"If you want to get the full effect, make sure you belch."
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 2, 2006
Tips for drinking 7-Up Plus. ( We don't recommend it. )

"OK, Elliot, hurry up. There are people starving here."
"Subtle."
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 2, 2006
Elliot's Pizza Database takes a while to load up.

"Did you get that comedy CD burned?"
T. Luke Renner
"He didn't bring them. He said that while you were looking at shiny things."
"No, he didn't."
T. Luke Renner
"Yes, he did. "
Everyone
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 16, 2006
I like shiny things too, but sometimes you need to focus.

"A lot divided by two is still greater then the number of M's we have. "

The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 16, 2006
The Zen of Free Cosmic Pizza

"Can we be more pathetic?"
"Yes!"
Everyone
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 19, 2006
Well, it's good that we confirmed it.

"You know how XP works in D&D?"
"Sure... You get XP, you go up levels. "
James "Jeffy" Talbott
"Well, this is pretty much nothing like that. "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 16, 2006
You gotta start somewhere with the Karma system in Shadowrun.

"Freaking... Squid..."
"I was running a search of my database of English words. "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 19, 2006
Appropriate epitaphs for a tractor in a second language.

"I'll believe it's over when our karma pools refresh."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 6, 2006
ShadowRun combat...

"This cup hides dice."
"Not very well... It's sort of transparent."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 6, 2006

"Now we are talking! "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 2, 2006
After starting seated in the wrong places because Keith was in the kitchen cooking, everybody moves back to their traditional places... Gamers are a superstitious lot.

"I can get you something [money] once we get to Sydney. "
Jonah (NPC) [Keith Seyffarth]
"Sign the damn paper or you won't make it to Sydney. "
Rainbow [Andres Munoz]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 2, 2006
All we wanted was an I.O.U. and a blood sample! ( He didn't make it to Sydney, though. )

"You can roll all the 35's you want, we are serious!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 2, 2006
NPC Will rolls and cash shakedowns.

"The twenty minutes were over ten minutes ago. "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 23, 2006
Keith really needs to get a kitchen timer.

"It'll take time to fix, the carburetor's shot. "
Michelle [T. Luke Renner]
"No, Rainbow's van is shot! "
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 6, 2006
Hyperbole vs Reality. Michelle's car was in the shop, Rainbow's van had been hit with autocannon fire.

"That was the dumbest thing I've heard."
"Have you read the quotes page?"
"Today. The dumbest thing I've heard, today."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 6, 2006
There's no need to be insulting!

"I didn't find the pencil I was looking for just now, but I found the one I was looking for last week."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 6, 2006
You take your success where you can get it, I suppose.

"There are no atheists in U-Hauls."
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 6, 2006
Going into battle in a convoy of U-Haul trucks.

"I wish I could jump into chairs..."
April 18, 2006
Talking with a co-worker who had her desk raised, and got an extending chair...

"Oh, you so suck! [pause] Cool!"
GMs are so sadistic.

"I'm not brandishing a rocket launcher, I'm suggesting a rocket launcher."
Explaining why his character should not get killed by the bodyguards for pointing a rocket launcher at the Johnson...

"Don't ask how big his subpoena is."
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 20, 2006
um... right.

"Ming is not my girlfriend. She's my domineering roommate under 'other gear.'"
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 20, 2006
Clarifying ... again.

"We in North Korea are too poor to afford hair."
"We in North Korea are too poor to afford blood. "
"We in North Korea are too poor to afford death."
March 28, 2006
Drunken comments about the portrayal of the North Korean Army in the movie 'Stealth'

"This is a incredibly well crafted peice of sh*t."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
April 28, 2006
His comments on the movie 'Stealth.' We had to drink in order to actually watch it.

"We could make it, in a limited way, however complex we want it."
May 3, 2006
is this something obscure from complexity theory?

"Hey! Wanna see my Flash?!"
May 4, 2006
um...

"I never suck, I only chew."
Sam Ortega
"What was that in reference to?"
"I don't know, sour balls, I think."
Elizabeth Olson
May 5, 2006
In reference to sour candy...

"This is really strange and horrifying...here try some."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
"No"
"No"
May 6, 2006
his reaction Coka Cola Blak

"You can't give strokes to people"
"..well not as presents."
May 18, 2006
Comments made while watching House

"I... think... I'm good."
"I think you're evil."
"I am evil."
May 22, 2006
Work conversations...

"I just tore a nail... on my zipper."
May 23, 2006
Why I needed to borrow a pair of nail clippers.

"And we didn't even have to use a computer to do that..."
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ May 4, 2006
Ordering food.

"No battle plans should ever contain the word 'hopefully.'"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ May 18, 2006

"I'm gonna use a product defect to my advantage."
June 2, 2006
Ya take work arounds where you can get them...

"I can't be perfect every time. It's not like I'm Ozzy Osbourne!"
June 8, 2006
Ozzy's perfect?

"You guys got your asses saved by a critical fail???"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ June 8, 2006
The mage actually did a good job of taking the misinformation seriously...

"What plan? We just sort of half-assed..."
"But it's working... and we don't even have our guns."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ June 8, 2006
Typical for this group - at least the half-assed part.

"Is everything under control?"
Rainbow [Andres Munoz]
"No, but I think it's as good as it's gonna get."
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ June 8, 2006
As usual.

"Without Andrew, my life has no meaning. Mr. Andrew is my fuel."
Tejeshwara "Tej" Chigateri
June 22, 2006
What to do when the boss is gone...

"(While Keith is reading Dilbert Cartoons handed him by Elliot)
Keith! Focus! "
"( A few minutes later, as Andres is reading Keith's Dr. Suess Dictionary and the rest of the party reviews the plan... )
Some of these are funny! "
"Andres! Focus! "
Everyone
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ May 25, 2006
Turnabout is fair play, as you know.

"Alright, I do what every good girl would do in this situation: I scream and point! "
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ June 8, 2006
The proper way to react to scary-looking gunmen in the airport.

"What happens when something happens? "
Roger Lemke
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ June 20, 2006
This is actually a very profound question, even when you're just playing the game "Wildlife."

"You're shopping, right?"
"Well... more looting."
"You're looting for a band?"
"Better than raping and pillaging for a band..."
The pirate was setting up the wake...

"A purple skinned monster shows up."
"Oh! Jesus Christ!"
Persephone [T. Luke Renner]
"No, just Ugly."
One of the characters, Ugly, was a purple skinned monster.

"Help! Help! I'm stuck in a chest!"
Persephone [T. Luke Renner]
She had just teleported herself inside of a chest... Where no one could hear her...

"I have the point lowered, it's not a threat."
"It's a sword. It's in your hand. It's a threat."
Kaven was first in warfare.

"I know I told this story to Phil, but it's still funny."
James "Jeffy" Talbott
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ July 6, 2006
Relevance? Phil wasn't there, and I didn't know that just telling something to Phil risked it no longer being funny...

"When a mommy gamer and a daddy gamer love each other very much... and they reproduce... you get a little gamer."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ July 6, 2006
Why I had a seven year old in my Throne War the previous weekend...

"I didn't bring a carry-on. All I got is a toilet."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ July 6, 2006
the return flight for espionage required a cover sotry, I guess.

"Stand up straight, you drunk Egyptian!"
Jenn Murphy
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ July 25, 2006
While she was arranging all her Age Of Mythology army figures into nice ranks and files.

"Eat Without Worry And Smite Your Foes! "
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ August 8, 2006
Slogan for the Nonstick Martian Laser Necktie, a new product in The Big Idea

"Damn you, Sex Vacuum! "
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ August 8, 2006
Another of Kevin's products for The Big Idea

"I've Already used more French than I know."
James "Jeffy" Talbott
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 14, 2006
More than he knew?

"Relaxing"
Brian "The Option" Weiss
"Ah! And I already played Adolf Hitler!"
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ September 5, 2006
Apples To Apples again.

"This would be a bad time to play Bette Midler"
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ September 5, 2006
Apples To Apples

"I apologize."
T. Luke Renner
"No you don't."
"I know."
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 14, 2006
For making bad puns.

"How do you ask a couple of girls to go on a shadow run on the first date?"
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 14, 2006
The one character who should know...

"T-Rex was gay... Rowr."
Stephanie "Stef" Hande
September 10, 2006
Explaining why 'Tyranosaurus rex' was a good match for 'Annoying' when playing Apples to Apples.

"Can you sinch that hood down good and tight?"
"Yeah, but then I'd look stupid."
Chaundera Wolfe
September 22, 2006
While modeling her new big puffy white parka with black speckles.

"Wow! Deep thoughts involving ShadowRun. Let's drop that and get to rolling dice."
James "Jeffy" Talbott
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 28, 2006
Reeling the plot back in...

"Are any of these good can openers?"
"I wouldn't take one home to Ming."
"I'll take one home to Ming."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 28, 2006
Raiding an end of the world shelter...

"You used 'disseminate.' Isn't that an awfully big word for you?"
"No. Me likey big words."
September 28, 2006
Vocabulary at work.

"So, if you ever get burned at the stake, you'll have an idea of what it will feel like?"
"Yeah, kind of pleasant but mildly disturbing."
September 28, 2006
More off-topic conversations at work.

"That's easy. Just look it up on php.net, but I think it's strstr('string','string needle','string haystack')."
"[blank stare]"
"Could you repeat that?"
October 10, 2006
It's much funnier if you understand the php base functions and read them outloud. - And, I was wrong, it was str_replace('mixed search','mixed replace','mixed subject').

"I'm not sure what percentage of the time my arms were moving I had any contact with that piece of paper."
October 11, 2006
Having just thrown a cartoon across the desk...

"No matter what you say, it never makes any sense to me."
Emily Sorensen
October 11, 2006
To Keith.

"Be careful, or I'll quote you."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 12, 2006
Ample warning.

"Let me put it this way: If it's in metric, we're in combat."
"We're in Australia, so we must be in combat a lot."
Johnathon Holroyd
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 12, 2006
When the GM can't keep his units straight...

"I'll stick a couple hundred Nuyen in your g-string, just to be nice. [pause] I've never said that to another player before."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 12, 2006
The other player was playing a stripper.

"Giggy doesn't have a gun."
Johnathon Holroyd
"That's OK, I have a high initiative."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 26, 2006
Problems with splitting up the party.

"So, your choice is either a midnight cruise with Sonny or a midnight rendezvous with Giggy. "
"Either way, you're gonna get wet! "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 12, 2006
Michelle, choosing which one night mission to take.

"The policeman got distracted by boobs. "
"Good boobs!! "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 12, 2006
What's the best way to avoid trouble with the Coast Guard? A topless stripper with the hiccups!

"God bless strippers when their diaphragms start contracting. "
T. Luke Renner
"No, then they tend to get pregnant. "
"Andres, you're really lucky you don't speak English very well right now."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 26, 2006
Recounting the key events of the previous week.

"Let's give 'em hell! "
Michelle [T. Luke Renner]
"That's kind of ironic... "
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 26, 2006
Before storming a religious cult meeting.

"I didn't think they'd be shooting at the florists! "
James "Jeffy" Talbott
"We're FTD! "
T. Luke Renner
"Jesus H Christ! We're here for you!"
James "Jeffy" Talbott
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 26, 2006
Coming under heavy fire while trying to sneak in under the cover of delivering flowers.

"Damn, I spent all my pornography! "
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ October 24, 2006
Playing Caylus, ( Well, we renamed the resources to make it more fun. )

"I remember we cruised into Chinook looking for chicks.

After about five minutes I said, "Maybe this was ill advised..." "
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ October 24, 2006
Ah, the life of a Havre playboy.

"I DON'T WANNA GO TO WALMART!!! I HATE WALMART!!!"
Unknown
Mall Wisdom ~~ March 1, 2005
A very small child expressing his opinion after being told he can't go into the toy store but can look in the toy section at WalMart.

"Who has money? God and Santa."
Unknown
Mall Wisdom ~~ November 4, 2006
Two individuals who, I figure, really don't need it. ( A parent trying to get her kid out of a store without buying anything. )

"Screw the board, let's burn Gene!"
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ November 14, 2006
Playing Ricochet Robots. John has suggested destroying this game many ways and at many times

"Speaking of horrible interludes..."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 9, 2006
Trying to get back to the subject at hand.

"Don't kill the GM before I get out of the hospital."
Johnathon Holroyd
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 9, 2006
Keeping timing at the forefront...

"Oh, I rolled really good, remember?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 9, 2006
Well, I didn't. It's always important to roll after the GM asks, and make sure you remember the numbers until he gets to processing them.

"What the hell, John. Good Lord, how long does it take a man to screw a pie? "
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
"(When John arrived about fifteen minutes later)
A man has to romance the pie first. "
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ November 21, 2006
A combined comment mixing the several reasons that John was late.

"I was thinking this morning when I got up and the power was off and this was the second time that I couldn't work because of stupid stuff that November was a bad month for me, and Phil winning the last two games just put a cap on it. "
Gene Ehli
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ November 28, 2006
Phil normally doesn't win all that often.

"I don't think I like the towers. They're like big dicks fucking the land of Carcassone. "
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ November 28, 2006
As you can see, I don't like the Towers Expansion for Carcassone.

"You've driven over worse than this."
"Yeah. Motorcyclists."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 30, 2006
Road conditions - past and present.

"If you experience an erection lasting more than four rounds of combat, seek medical attention."
Johnathon Holroyd
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 30, 2006
ShadowRun combat...

"God bless Bananarama!"
T. Luke Renner
"That phrase has never been uttered before."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 7, 2006
Things that come up for no reason...

"You've got Moleman leading a force of Skrull warriors backing up the Enchantress while Green Goblin pumpkin bombs the shit out of the place and all Hulk can say is, "WHAT FUCK!?!?" "
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ January 2, 2007
A lot of cards got played on one Marvel Heros encounter.

"Grow the fuck up and get the hell out of the mall!"
Unknown
Mall Wisdom ~~ December 26, 2006
Lady to a group of six teenage boys who were screwing around in the mall.

"OK, now I have a legendary mount. "
Roger Lemke
"Hah, I had a legendary mount last night. "
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
"Yeah, that's the benefit of having a wife. "
Roger Lemke
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ January 23, 2007
They were actually just playing Runebound.

"... and by 'most of us,' he means 'us two.'"
James "Jeffy" Talbott
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 25, 2007
As five of the seven of us in the room looked at each other to figure out who Luke's 'most of us' were.

"I haven't had any Dilbert-love today."
January 30, 2007
um...

"I remember the first time I got plowed - not just drunk, but completely wasted, passed out, can't remember anything drunk."
January 30, 2007
You do, do you?

"Brian doesn't need any options. Brian is The Option."
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ January 16, 2007
Said in reference to RoboRally, but he does keep beating us at other games.

"Hey Phil, can we use your car?"
Katie Langworthy
Mall Wisdom ~~ February 3, 2007
A straight-out question from a seven year old. ( Her Dad did need to borrow my pick-up to get parts to fix his, though. )

"I didn't kill myself... I guess I'll just have to get used to that."
March 2, 2007
Leaving work for the day... Does that say something?

"I think our subjects should be really, really vague. [pause] but specific."
March 1, 2007
About email marketing.

"That's why I'm sharing a room with Nova. That way, when someone says I'll go peek, I know it's safe"
Michelle [T. Luke Renner]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 1, 2007
Sharing hotel rooms...

"I didn't notice anything unusual when I went to the bathroom earlier?"
Michelle [T. Luke Renner]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 1, 2007
Establishing which room the cargo had been hidden in...

"Here, would you like to suck on something that will make your lips and toungue numb?"
Johnathon Holroyd
March 17, 2007
Offering Ann Listerine pocket strips...

"I'll drive."
"Cool. I'll see if I can walk without tripping oner my pants."
March 19, 2007
going to lunch...

"I didn't know I did it... [pause] until I took a shower two days later."
March 20, 2007
Rugby injuries.

"Is there anything we can get rid of?"
"Well, Mitch..."
March 21, 2007
Moving

"We'll need about 1/2 shitload of screws."
March 22, 2007
Purchasing materials for a project.

"The problem is that the sailboat's going to run out of gas."
Soren Mejstrick
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 15, 2007
How to get to Adelaide from Sydney.

"Ya know, I'm really impressed with the way my hair looks when I get up in the morning. [pause] Its sorta got a style of its own."
March 27, 2007
Completely out of the blue.

"I can speak Tonia."
"No, you can speak drugged Tonia, that's even better."
March 28, 2007
Translating an email that had been sent after surgery...

"I've been interned to death."
March 28, 2007
After a long series of interuptions.

"We've got a car, a gun, IDs..."
Nova [Johnathon Holroyd]
"A thumb."
"I'm not mentioning the thumb..."
Johnathon Holroyd
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 29, 2007
Listing what they were bringing back from Adelaide...

"Why don't we call tomorrow?"
Rainbow [Andres Munoz]
"Because we're calling tonight!"
Sonny [James "Jeffy" Talbott]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 29, 2007
Planning a party on short notice.

"Is there anyone there who is passing a class?"
Johnathon Holroyd
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 29, 2007
Trying to explain something to drunken frat boys...

"I want to roll gay-dar, actually."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 12, 2007
Trying to determine the intent of the approaching hacker.

"They're not going to splatter my head all over the bar."
"You haven't been playing this game very long, have you?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 12, 2007
How much concern should you have over the sniper in the dance club?

"I'm gonna slap the gay right out of you!"
Stephanie "Stef" Hande
"I'd probably like to see that."
April 22, 2007
To Robert.

"Ooooh! Stef's butt-print is warm."
April 22, 2007
Getting out of the booth at the restaurant.

"So, it's all about you, is it?"
"Well... [pause] mostly... [pause] except the stabbing."
April 27, 2007
Fixing a chair.

"I think Internet Explorer will handle it differently. [pause] And it did. It made that little icky thing."
April 27, 2007
web design...

"I'd write that down, but I never want to hear that phrase again."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 26, 2007
The phrase in question was "I don't want to see your combat ass, Johnathan."

"Beware... Inside me is a turret with an autocanon."
Rainbow [Andres Munoz]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 26, 2007
Possible bumper stickers to indicate a vehicular threat.

"Horses, like rugby players, are dangerous animals."
"Yeah, they step on ya."
May 7, 2007
Discussion of injuries...

"I really think I'm making sense in my head, but I know that the words coming out of my mouth are completely incomprehensible."
May 9, 2007
Trying to explain something at the end of a long day at work.

"I don't get simple."
Tom Wight
May 16, 2007
I asked a simple quesiton... I got this answer.

"That wasn't "Bang!", that was "Dry Hump!" "
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ May 15, 2007
After an epic length game of "Bang!"

"(To Kevin) You think you've got enough green cards over there?"
Gene Ehli
"He's Pedro! He doesn't have a Green Card! "
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ May 15, 2007
Playing "Bang!" ( Green cards stay in play after being played. )

"I'm tuned into Radio Phil and I hate it!"
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ May 15, 2007
He kept getting all of Phil's bad references and puns while the rest of the group, mercifully, didn't.

"(All said by Brian as part of a Once Upon A Time Story.)
(Traveler)How tall are you?
(King)I'm 5'6", 5'8".
(Traveler)No, you're at least 6'1". You need a Change Of Ruler!"
Brian "The Option" Weiss
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ March 20, 2007
Playing the "Change Of Ruler" card in "Once Upon A Time. "

"OK, I might have been seen, but I don't think I saw them see me. "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 30, 2006
Rainbow, defaulting on a stealth roll.

"Keith, your tweezers are now under your couch. "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 30, 2006
Dropping Keith's stuff while playing with it.

"I think the assless pants will say everything. "
November 30, 2006
Costumes for strippers dressed as cops.

"Everything is in there. If it's not in there, it's in Real Life. "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 30, 2006
Talking rules, but it's an interesting comment, nonetheless.

"If it's tear-away, it's Fine clothing. "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 30, 2006
You get what you pay for when you buy slutty police stripper uniforms.

"There was a possibility that could have been funnier. "
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 30, 2006
A line that describes most of this list.

"Who was that devil woman!?!?"
Nigel [Adam Munson]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 30, 2006
Having met and endured a 30 minute car ride with Giggy's roommate Ming.

"How about a nice game of Scrabble?"
Niddle Bee [Jason "Flit Featherfinger" Leonard]
How to choose the new king.

"Am I going to get killed by a cute, poncy sword?"
Erika "Eek" Noble
The things that happen in Amber...

"I don't care, we're inbreds."
Dan Westcott
Issues of Amberite morals.

"Wait! Just a moment."
Zach [Dan Westcott]
"What?"
Mathias [Gregory Mullin]
"[shoots Mathias] Just to make it fair."
Zach [Dan Westcott]
Playing fair? In Amber?

"Wow, Porn is worthless in this game!
That's the only time that statement will ever be made."
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ May 29, 2007
Yeah, we renamed the commodities in "Manila" as well.

"That gives a whole new meaning to "dumpshock." "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 12, 2007
The difference between Jacking In in a strip club vs. in a techno-dance club for deckers.

"You can't use Combat Pool on a Charisma roll! "
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 12, 2007
That could almost be the title of a book of dating advice.

"Johnathon got bored shaking his booty."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 29, 2007
Why Jonathon wasn't playing his stripper, Nova.

"I've got Etiquette: Clubs. "
Johnathon Holroyd
"Yeah, you gotta know when it's appropriate to sanitize the pole."
"With a carefully placed Wet-One, you can do it through the whole routine."
T. Luke Renner
"(snorts cake into nose)"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 11, 2007
Trying to act appropriately in a French restaurant.

"They call Star Trek people 'Trekkies,' what do they call Star Wars fans? "
Gene Ehli
"Disillusioned. "
John McCracken
Mall Wisdom ~~ May 30, 2007
Whether it's the truth or not, it's still funny.

"Never [...] inhale [cough] your spit."
June 11, 2007
Words of wisdom...

"It's in the middle drawer in the bedroom where I keep the handcuffs."
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ June 12, 2007
Well, whatever you're in to. We're all open minded.

"Le Gab Surprise? Sounds like a love disease"
June Sitter
"Your waitress is Valleta Sprawl"
Anthony LaMonaca
Shadows of Malta ~~ December 39, 2006
Players have fun with names.

"These dice suck!"
Shadows of Malta ~~ December 24, 2006
Words every player loves to hear from the GM

"Your target number is 8"
"I got one success"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
"Shouldn't that be two?"
"No. Six and two is seven!"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Shadows of Malta ~~ January 21, 2007
...and these he's supposed to be good with numbers.

"Is he bleeding profusely?"
Anthony LaMonaca
"Yes, he was hunting with Dick Cheney""
Shadows of Malta ~~ January 21, 2007
Really what else can you say?

"I want you to block me from their view."
Sally [June Sitter]
"I'm a short dwarf?! And you're a tall elf!""
Mac [Troy Unknown]
"I don't care, just shove me under the table or something""
Sally [June Sitter]
Shadows of Malta ~~ January 21, 2007
Man...grumpy dwarves.

"I shoot him in the face."
Shadows of Malta ~~ January 21, 2007
Deadpanned with perfect timing to make Lloyd spit gatorade at June and get it up his nose.

"Blah Blah Blah 'Church'. I's one of those speaking in tongues churches."
Anthony LaMonaca
Shadows of Malta ~~ January 28, 2007
His response to Clacy's directions to her characters bodyguards that were coming to meet them.

"Where's Hakeem....Oh wait a minute, none of you guys understand me."
Luca [Anthony LaMonaca]
Shadows of Malta ~~ February 18, 2007
Not having a common language is such fun.

"You are surrounded by a bomb! RUN!!!"
Cici (14th wife of the Bey) [Clacy (Garmeson) Olson]
Shadows of Malta ~~ February 18, 2007
Technically it was her watcher...and a stupid one at that. This was said after the boat exploded.

"Ain't gonna blow my fraggin' stuff up for just nothin', you know."
Mac [Troy Unknown]
Shadows of Malta ~~ March 25, 2007
Riggers hate having to blow up their own stuff.

"Are there any hitches to collecting the reward that need to be played out?"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
"Oh Yeah."
"Oh Sh%t"
Troy Unknown
Shadows of Malta ~~ April 1, 2007
Players are disappointed...yet again.

"What are you doing?"
"Shooting him in the leg."
Anthony LaMonaca
"With the rocket launcher?!"
The Entire Table
"No, with my gun guys""
Anthony LaMonaca
Shadows of Malta ~~ March 25, 2007
Well...clarify, the character had both on him.

"Joy seems to make you happy"
Shadows of Malta ~~ April 15, 2007
It's a force 5 weapons foci...named 'Joy'

"He's surrounded by the LAPD"
Shadows of Malta ~~ April 15, 2007
The dwarf was getting beat down by naked men painted blue.

"No! You can not steal anything, it's bad. Hakeem, explain why it's bad."
Cici (14th wife of the Bey) [Clacy (Garmeson) Olson]
"It's probably bad."
Hakeem [Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.]
Shadows of Malta ~~ April 15, 2007
Arguments on a level 12 astral quest

"I want my taco crunchy."
Stephanie "Stef" Hande
June 15, 2007
Ordering at Taco Bell.

"We found our new "Sports"."
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
"I didn't think they were that bad."
"You're like the one jock of the group."
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ June 27, 2007
Playing a game like Trivial Pursuit, but made up of logic puzzles.

"For the love of fuck, I screwed myself royally!"
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ June 27, 2007
Bad Dalmuti strategy

"Ekalaka is too trendy for me."
Gene Ehli
"No one has ever said that. Ever."
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ July 3, 2007
Playing the Montana Trivia game "Explore Montana"

"Ekalaka!"
Brian "The Option" Weiss
"That's my answer for now on."
Gene Ehli
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ July 3, 2007
Well, we got a bunch of questions on it at once.

"If it's not in EKALAKA, it's not important!"
Gene Ehli
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ July 3, 2007
After blowing yet another Montana Trivia question.

"I'll take something that's not diet.

And not the mustard, either!!"
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ July 3, 2007
Getting sodas from the small fridge in HobbyTown.

"You've pointed at me every single round."
Brian "The Option" Weiss
"No, I pointed at Brian a couple of times."
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ July 3, 2007
Playing Ca$h'n Gun$.

"Look! His butt matches his chest!"
Amy Storti
August 17, 2007
Colleague's new clothing...

"Mom!! We need Money!!!"
Unknown
Mall Wisdom ~~ June 16, 2007
Refreshingly direct, I suppose.

"Come on Phil, you know you want to smokum the Lizard peace pipe."
Jerry Miller
Mall Wisdom ~~ June 16, 2007
Please note that he was playing the Lizardman army in Warhammer!

"Can I use two timers to go faster?"
Brian "The Option" Weiss
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ July 31, 2007
Playing Spacedealer, where game events are timed by egg-timers.

"Damn gimp timer!!"
Brian "The Option" Weiss
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ July 31, 2007
One of his timers had a little blockage. Maybe it needs more bran.

"That's on par with whatever the hell Dan said that I blocked out of my mind."
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ July 31, 2007
Huh?

"A Mongolian missionary!?!?"
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Mall Wisdom ~~ August 8, 2007
Mall Security. The previous question was, 'Whose soliciting?'

"I thought the one over there said 'Deboner'!"
Brian "The Option" Weiss
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ August 7, 2007
Trying to read the term 'Debonder' on the boxes of new glue.

"You see the impending doom.
You see which way the impending doom is coming from.
And you're like, 'The impending doom can point that way [gesturing away from the group].'"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ August 16, 2007
Describing how 'Control Actions' works.

"No, there will be no shooting involved in this thing."
Rainbow [Andres Munoz]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ August 16, 2007
That's not too likely...

"Ah! Phil's getting into my head!"
John McCracken
"Well, there's plenty of room."
Brian "The Option" Weiss
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ August 28, 2007
Yeah, he's like that.

"Why did this get ordered?"
Reece Nesmith
"Ah, grasshopper, you have learned the first question!"
Mall Wisdom ~~ August 28, 2007
The Zen of HobbyTown owner Randy.

"OK, Sama, we think there's an AI in here."
"But it could just be porn."
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ August 30, 2007
The contents of a laptop exposed to an unprotected wireless network where a rogue AI was suspected to reside.

"There's a difference between sexual orientation and gender."
"And neither is a choice."
"That's not the difference."
"No, that's a similarity."
Johnathon Holroyd
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ August 30, 2007
Random comments.

"Nothin' says lovin' like a turd in the sink."
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Mall Wisdom ~~ August 18, 2007
People promising to mess up a bathroom for their friend, who works as a Mall janitor.

"That was most unfortunate."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ August 31, 2006
After, in the process of trying to pretend to be part of the religious cult in order to get information, Timmy really blows a roll and actually becomes part of the cult.

"So, what happened after I left?"
Michelle [T. Luke Renner]
"We got Italian food and strippers."
Timmy [James "Jeffy" Talbott]
"[Spends about two minutes trying not to spray Diet Coke out of his nose while laughing.]"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ August 31, 2006
Humor from (simulated) real life.

"So Montabon is near, what would you tell an aspiring Recruit heading into the Army Intelligence Field?"
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
"Claim you've turned gay and don't fucking do it. Blow the recruiter if absolutely necessary."
Unknown
The Dirty Hobo Gaming Society ~~ September 3, 2007
Advice from an ex-soldier to a current soldier.

"Give me some brick, bitch!"
Clint Ekern
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ August 28, 2007
Apparently "Anno 1603 A.D." has some optional 'hood rules.

"Randy down at HobbyTown's being a retard and took all the chairs away and we're trying to game down here."
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ August 14, 2007
Sums up reaction to the boss's recent changes very nicely.

"That's the problem with being efficient, it makes it so much easier to screw things up."
Ryan Bresnahan
September 12, 2007
Concerns with shared code...

"The physics of magic is so interesting."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 20, 2007
Which kind of invisibility was used, and how it affected other things.

"They should have put up a sign that said The end of the world if what's in here gets out, but instead they put up a sign that said Toxic."
Rainbow [Andres Munoz]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 20, 2007
They figured out what was in the compound.

"I have platinum Docwagon. You can keep looking."
Sonny [James "Jeffy" Talbott]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ September 20, 2007
...to the real estate agent after she told them that it looked like the property they were looking at belonged to Saeder-Krup.

"We're gonna introduce a new Mass. We're gonna call it the Whoop-Mass!"
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ October 2, 2007
Mystery At The Abbey banter.

"I'm God, I see everything."
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ October 2, 2007
The reason Gene should let Phil look at his sheet of notes for Mystery At The Abbey.

"When the whistling gets loud, pull the cord."
"Cross your legs."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ August 16, 2007
Parachute jumping in a skirt.

"God, he's good! He's like our own little Broadway show!"
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 4, 2007
Andres skill at impersonating and modifying the Muppets sketch Mahna Mahna.

"(Getting up to follow Keith)
I know what that look from a GM means."
James "Jeffy" Talbott
"It means I'm going to take a leak."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ August 16, 2007
Alright, maybe he didn't know.

"He rolled MOD perception. All he can see are the remainders."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 4, 2007
Geek humor. If you don't get it, that's probably for the best.

"You can take BOD points of overflow damage and still be resurectable. "
"So crucifixion is a base deadly?"
"Huh?"
T. Luke Renner
"Well, you're still resurectable."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 4, 2007
The combination of Shadowrun and Catholic humor.

"This country's a giant Muppet Show sketch!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 4, 2007
Names of cities and regions in India and Pakistan.

"That's not Yiddish, it sounds more like yak wrangler."
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 4, 2007
Figuring out which translation chapter to use from the 1960's vintage dictionary.

"Is that clean?"
Nigel [Adam Munson]
"No, my alias is a convicted felon."
Michelle [T. Luke Renner]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 4, 2007
About Giggy's ID, after a border guard had just walked off with it.

"I understand, but it kinda sucks to be on this side of it..."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 4, 2007
The party finally gets hit with a hellblast, after the party's previous mage had used it how many times?

"You suck. Who are you, Phil?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 4, 2007
after Andres' horrible rolls to save the van.

"Can I write a note and put it on my chest that reads: Please deliver to Pakistan?"
T. Luke Renner
"No. You're on fire."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 4, 2007
After the hellblast while trying to cross the India-Pakistan border.

"Hi, my name is Sarah. You should be running."
Sarah "Thewylddream" Zbinden
Montana Game Faire ~~ October 6, 2007
Formal introductions aren't always necessary.

"Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result."
Katherine "Kat" Davenport
"Yeah, but when you roll dice, sometimes you get a different result."
Montana Game Faire ~~ October 6, 2007
Apparently not coming up with a new plan.

"People are running toward you, but their point would just be newt."
James Ekert
Montana Game Faire ~~ October 6, 2007
The mage was turning the researchers running toward the exit into newts. Honest.

"Buy this cardboard box for Mother Earth!"
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
"What happens when I get into a head-on collision?"
Clint Ekern
"The good news is your body is biodegradable."
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
The Dirty Hobo Gaming Society ~~ September 15, 2007
Driving by the Main Street car lot with the Electric Cars.

"Josh, so are you going to beat the wheat or what?"
Clint Ekern
"Huh?"
Dan Hagstrom
"(Very serious face) I don't even know what that means."
Clint Ekern
The Dirty Hobo Gaming Society ~~ September 15, 2007
Possibly profound wisdom, possibly not.

"Josh! What the hell are you doing?"
Clint Ekern
"(Talking on the phone)My sister!"
Sir Gaylord Cornelius "Josh" Montabon Esq.
The Dirty Hobo Gaming Society ~~ September 15, 2007
Um... Yeah...

"Oh, cool! When you get the fruit, more pellets spawn."
Gene Ehli
"(Rush Limbaugh voice)Oh, Pac-man is supporting the homosexual agenda; every time you score a fruit, something good happens."
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
The Dirty Hobo Gaming Society ~~ September 15, 2007
Playing Pac-Man Championship Edition.

"It's black dragonscale. It's good for whatever they're immune to."
Gene Ehli
"Acid"
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
"They can do all the acid they want."
John McCracken
The Dirty Hobo Gaming Society ~~ September 15, 2007

"That's a big package!"
Gene Ehli
"Thanks."
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
"(Flustered)I meant the box."
Gene Ehli
"Oh yeah, that too."
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
The Dirty Hobo Gaming Society ~~ October 5, 2007
Be nice.

"No, we're O.K.. I don't think this one's touched cloth yet."
John McCracken
The Dirty Hobo Gaming Society ~~ October 5, 2007
Talking about an imminent poop at a tense role-playing moment.

"Show me your body."
Brian "The Option" Weiss
"Again!?"
Kate Trippe
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ October 16, 2007
During a game of Inkognito, which is slightly like Clue.

"I can't take Mystra, I HAVE to worship a man!"
Clint Ekern
The Dirty Hobo Gaming Society ~~ September 21, 2007
During character creation.

"I don't think I'm going to 'stealth' in a lake."
Sean Hay
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 28, 2007
How to appropriately concentrate the new character's stealth skill.

"Why Turkey?"
James "Jeffy" Talbott
"They make a funny noise."
"[Gobbles]"
James "Jeffy" Talbott
"[Silence]"
Everyone
"I'm not gonna lie - that was impressive!"
Sean Hay
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 1, 2007
Trying to figure out the elf's motivations.

"I may have just mugged a transporter for the Yakuza."
"Why?"
T. Luke Renner
"Because it was shiny."
James "Jeffy" Talbott
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 1, 2007
Still trying to figure out the elf's motivations.

"Hey Giggy, I just mugged that guy!"
Nigel [Adam Munson]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 1, 2007
Well, at least he's honest.

"You can have an igneous rope..."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 1, 2007
Explaining crates of magical talisma.

"I'm from London."
Nigel [Adam Munson]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 1, 2007
That explains everything.

"You had to blow your Jester to do it."
Brian "The Option" Weiss
"But I'm O.K. with that."
Kate Trippe
"As long as you remember to call him in the morning."
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ October 30, 2007
Discussing Dalmuti strategy.

"(Referring to overpriced concert tickets)
I got totally ass-raped and it was awesome! I'd do it again!"
Kate Trippe
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ October 30, 2007
Well, as long as you had a good time.

"I was cleaning my shower all day."
"All day!?"
John McCracken
"What do you do in there?
No! No! I don't want to know!"
Kate Trippe
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ November 6, 2007
Well... Soap scum can be hard to remove!

"Oh, you son of a bitch! Why'd you choose me?"
Blaine Dunkley
"I didn't. You're green."
Brian "The Option" Weiss
"Oh! Well, awesome!"
Blaine Dunkley
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ October 30, 2007
Trying to remember what color you're playing can be tough.

"I'm going to stand behind this cow and milk it for all it's worth."
Gene Ehli
Mall Wisdom ~~ January 1, 2004
Um... Yeah.

"So, is it eight inches?"
Andy Ross
"Yes, and thanks for asking."
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ October 30, 2007
Actually, it's the size of a deployment zone for a game of WarMachine.

"(To someone else) Kate, I've got to get something from her that's not filthy."
"Why would you want something that's not filthy?"
Kate Trippe
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ November 13, 2007
Well, I'm trying. She's not making it easy, though.

"I'm going to be hosed here."
John "Da Congressdude" Milanovich
"At the risk of horrible innuendo, where were you going to put it?"
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ November 13, 2007
A game of Carcassone that wasn't going well.

"That's Cerberus, he guards the entrance to the Underworld."
Gene Ehli
"And my shirt!"
Kate Trippe
"You've got the Underworld in your shirt?"
Brian "The Option" Weiss
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ November 20, 2007
Well, she did have a puppy Cerberus on her shirt.

"He got RA-bbed.
( Later )
That was RA-some!"
Blaine Dunkley
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ November 20, 2007
Band puns while playing Ra.

"He's throwing money at me!
They're not coming off!"
Kate Trippe
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ November 27, 2007
Brian, Kate, et al. playing "Modern Art," where the money is represented by chips. ( I swear they're their own episode of Moonlighting. )

"What? We can't go and look at their boobs anymore?"
Sara Erickson
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ December 4, 2007
Upon learning about the new location and staff of Miss Kitty's.

"Who doesn't love Ninjas?"
Gene Ehli
"Hitler."
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ December 4, 2007
Examining a card from the game Kill The Hippies

"Check her out... Um... him out!"
Shannon "Nailgun" Prendergast
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ December 4, 2007
A card from Kill The Hippies with not very clear artwork.

"Um... Nigel, if that guy running up the stairs right now jumped when he reached the top, that would be a shame."
Jack [Johnathon Holroyd]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 6, 2007
Giving hints to other players while trying to not break character.

"Wow, that stuff is remarkably mediocre."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 6, 2007
Pomegranate 7-Up.

"Brian, you look like a bright boy. You can remember where it goes."
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ December 11, 2007
Well, the player's reference card was on the back of a status card with one counter on it. Playing Emira.

"I'll take a mustache ride."
Brian "The Option" Weiss
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ December 11, 2007
Pictures on status counters for Emira.

"Go Phil... Gene."
John "Da Congressdude" Milanovich
"I don't know which one of us should be insulted by that."
"Me."
Gene Ehli
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ December 11, 2007
Getting insulted for a game I wasn't even playing!

"Hey, we're getting her to take off her clothes! Shut up!"
Brownie Jo Knight
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ December 18, 2007
Looking at tattoos.

"Remember, I almost threw money at Kate and Phil wrote it down."
Brian "The Option" Weiss
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ December 18, 2007
Referencing the previous game of 'Modern Art'.

"[poke, poke] Nigel's being arrested by the cops."
"So, do you want me to shoot them?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 13, 2007
Not the expected response from the player who didn't seem to be paying attention.

"I'm gonna go to that door and open it."
"So, Sean's thinking about starting a D and D game. You should play the big, dumb fighter."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 15, 2007
Metagaming.

"I found the worst site on the Internet.
It's a fan fiction site about covering Roy Orbison in Cling-Wrap."
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ January 22, 2008
What were you searching for?

"Get it up! Get it up!! Get it up there!!"
Chad Mueske
"Uh, I don't know you that well."
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ January 22, 2008
Actually, he was talking about card totals on SkipBo piles.

"NOOO!!! Foiled again!"
Chad Mueske
"Just like Orbison."
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ January 22, 2008
The not-exactly high culture of terrible references to weird websites.

"I'm sweating behind my ears."
"From the hair?"
"No, I think from the heat."
"And the hair."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 23, 2008
Is this really the conversation you want to be having while cooking dinner?

"Chao!"
"Chao? isn't that Italian?"
"Yes."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ January 23, 2008
Overhearing a phone conversation mostly in Spanish.

"You've just got a funny-looking face."
Jakob Schultz
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ February 5, 2008
Why he gave Phil a caricature of himself in the game GiftTrap.

"Phil, you and me can go to Rome together."
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ February 5, 2008
Um, aren't you married? ( Another present in GiftTrap. )

"Good thing Phil's not over here or we'd all be on the board tonight."
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ February 5, 2008
Well, I was sitting nearby.

"I like the big cock and balls."
"Yeah, me too."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 6, 2008
The two guys in the group who have steady, long-term girlfriends...

"You drop the veil, and it's a cock."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 6, 2008
The plan to deface a rival school.

"We gotta have herpes!"
Atilius [Sean Hay]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 6, 2008
More on the plan to deface a rival school.

"We need a dildo, to show the elemental what it looks like."
Rainbow [Andres Munoz]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 6, 2008
Still planning to deface a rival school's campus landmark.

"Who lies about being a fumigator?"
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 6, 2008
Looking for loopholes in plans.

"What's more sensual then a smack on the ass?"
Kate Trippe
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ February 12, 2008
Apples To Apples humor... She played "Whips" for the card "Sensual."

"Am I involved?"
Brian "The Option" Weiss
"No.
Well, maybe. I don't know."
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ February 12, 2008
Asked after I showed the whips/sensual quote to Kate. ( This is much funnier in the context of all the other Brian/Kate quotes. )

"Look at me, I'm adorable!"
Daniel Simser
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ February 19, 2008
Attempting to get two people to kiss him on the cheek to keep his character alive in a game of Werewolf.

"F loans pay, but I don't have any. But, of course, I'm not getting any either, but that's a whole other story."
"Back to the game, Phil, back to the game!"
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ February 19, 2008
Too much knowledge for a game of Jacob Marley, Esq.

"I've got a clipboard, I've got a pen, I've got termites in my pocket..."
Michelle [T. Luke Renner]
"We're ready to party!"
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 20, 2008
Preparing to prepare to sneak into a campus building in the middle of the night.

"You have a little pinky."
"[Looks at Andres blankly.]"
"It's trying to escape."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 20, 2008
I had a hole in my sock.

"Does anyone need something blown?"
Nigel [Adam Munson]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 20, 2008
Now that he had his air elemental back...

"We'll do a little, like 10 foot, dong or something."
Nigel [Adam Munson]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 20, 2008
Little? I'm not sure if I'm more nervous about Nigel's world view, or Adam's.

"It'll harden as you go."
Nigel [Adam Munson]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 20, 2008
getting spray foam to hold it's shape.

"I'm banishing my thingy."
Nigel [Adam Munson]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 20, 2008
Dismissing an elemental.

"We don't want beams sticking out of our penis."
Michelle [T. Luke Renner]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 20, 2008
Removing the scaffolding from the sculpture.

"I wasn't expecting..."
"You weren't expecting a big, foam cock? Who does?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 20, 2008
Off-topic interruptions.

"We're playing a little game called just the tip."
Sean Hay
February 23, 2008
Fighting off tentacle monsters.

"You go around smelling each other's balls."
Rebecca Heinz
February 29, 2008
Scented bowling balls...

"Nobody enjoys me when they first come into the building."
Chaundera Wolfe
March 6, 2008
Random bits of wisdom?

"Someone needs to fix my alignment."
James "Jeffy" Talbott
"This is Shadowrun, you don't have an alignment."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 26, 2007
Difficulties with cars and gaming systems.

"For God's sake, Keith, you sound like a deaf mute having sex!"
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ February 20, 2008
Keith trying not to spray soda out of his nose while laughing.

"The less we disturb them, the sooner they'll get done."
"The more we disturb them, the sooner they'll give up!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 5, 2008
Actors in Keith's building shooting some kind of movie scene over and over and over and over...

"At least we'll have a turn...
before he gets his second one..."
March 5, 2008
The bad guys had higher initiative, damn it!

"Homophobia wins the day."
Joshua Erickson
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ March 4, 2008
Phil got hit with a card in a game of Werewolf saying that two people had to attest to his character by kissing him on the cheek. Kate was generous enough to kiss him on one cheek, but none of the rest of the players, all men, wanted to follow suit. Dan finally ran around the table, and much to the pleasure of the other observers, became the second kisser. ( There were very good strategic reasons in the game for him to do that, however. )

"Keith, I won't be masturbating the cake again; it's frosting."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 2, 2008
Comments from the guy providing dessert. Would you let this man cook your dinner?

"I had a thought, but I don't want to make the quotes list with it."
James "Jeffy" Talbott
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 2, 2008
Tough.

"I live on a boat with an alligator."
Sonny [James "Jeffy" Talbott]
"I live with an insane Chinese woman."
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 2, 2008
Who do you want to go home with?

"Have I been healed yet?"
"No!"
Everyone
"Enjoy yourself."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ April 2, 2008
How time passes...

"At least we'll have a turn...
Before he gets his second one."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 5, 2008
The bad guys all had higher initiative, damn it.

"Because someone's sticking chopsticks down my pants!!"
Kate Trippe
"It wasn't me!"
Brian "The Option" Weiss
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ April 15, 2008
Why she couldn't remember that it was her turn in a game of The Great Dalmuti.

"Is that a monkey on the table?"
John McCracken
"Yes, I drew it with a piece of lead I found on the table."
Kate Trippe
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ April 15, 2008
Pop art.

"What the hell is your name?"
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ April 15, 2008
To John McCracken, while I was writing down a quote. ( I've only known him about seven years. )

"Oh, Tonia, what's the difference between CSS and style?"
"One Chris doesn't know, and the other Chris doesn't have."
April 14, 2008
reminiscing about former co-workers...

"Land ho!"
Shannon "Nailgun" Prendergast
"That's no way to talk to land!"
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ April 8, 2008
Banter in a game of Ra,

"Lincoln! Which is more important, Sara or a game you've never played!? Get over here!"
"Depends on how horny Sara is."
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ April 29, 2008
Well, I suppose...

"My unarmed combat skill is higher now. Do you want me to teach you how to drive?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ May 14, 2008
Reference to Giggy's tendency to punch people who he thinks can't drive.

"I'll show you the credstick if you heal me."
Atilius [Sean Hay]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ May 14, 2008
Negotiating with the party mage.

"I know people have crossed a Great Dane and a dachshund, but I wonder if anybody's ever crossed a Great Dane with a chihuahua."
"Of course, it came out to Great Dane Chihuahua sine theta."
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ June 2, 2008
Evil banter after seeing Kevin's dog Sancho.

"Oh! I don't like this already!"
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ June 10, 2008
Hearing the rules to Wicked Witch's Way.

"I don't think I signed up for these kinds of conversations!"
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ May 14, 2008
Listening to talk of frying bacon naked and oral sex with someone who has seizures.

"Who wears denim bras anymore!?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ May 28, 2008
Examining the art on the cover of the SRII.

"...being more on fire is more important than..."
"Oh, moron is right!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ June 11, 2008
Getting Hell Blasted in a motel room, then jumping out the window while on fire.

"Don't piss him off! I've got to survive this!"
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
"That's the spirit, Giggy!"
Twitch [Johnathon Holroyd]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ June 11, 2008
Phil's time slice hadn't happened yet, Adam's was currently in progress.

"Write that down! My hands are dirty!"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ June 11, 2008
Gathering quotes...

"How many books do you need?"
"How much money did he just give us?"
Johnathon Holroyd
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ June 11, 2008
Players grabbing all the books off the shelf...

"I've got 347k - I can afford lunch."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ June 11, 2008
Who was buying what...

"That's OK. He's three floors up, and the room's on fire."
Johnathon Holroyd
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ June 11, 2008
Why he wasn't concerned about being shot at.

"What are you doing with that thing in the water?"
Chad Mueske
"They're called "ships", dude."
John "Da Congressdude" Milanovich
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ July 8, 2008
Looking at pieces used in "A Game Of Thrones"

"Has everybody recovered from 'Anne Frank?'"
James "Jeffy" Talbott
"That's a sentence you don't hear every day."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ August 13, 2008
Playing Apples to Apples. Jeffy had played "Anne Frank" as "Lucky." No, we weren't playing the "sour Apples" variant.

"If you show them your junk, the fight is over."
Brian "The Option" Weiss
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ August 12, 2008
Actually, he meant one of the counters in the CheapAss Games game Secret Tijuana Death Match.

"Unobstantial"
Brian "The Option" Weiss
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ August 12, 2008
Umm... We don't know what it means, but it really sounds like it should mean something.

"I'll be right back."
"Where are you going?"
James "Jeffy" Talbott
"I've got to go retrieve Keith's screen."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ June 11, 2008
Well, Keith's kitchen window didn't seem to be open and the screen wasn't held in very tightly.

"It's a battle between computers and Cher... That doesn't happen very often."
September 10, 2008
The things people say playing Apples to Apples...

"All I wanted was a clean waffle pan."
John McCracken
"Adventure! Excitement! A Jedi craves no these things. But a clean waffle pan..."
Gene Ehli
Mall Wisdom ~~ September 6, 2008
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away... There was IHOP!!

"You know, it's sad. Dakota is the only female I know that spreads her legs when I walk by."
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ September 23, 2008
Dakota, for your information, is the dog, and she, pretty much, loves everybody.

"At least I beat Gene. I feel good about myself."
"Then we're doing our job horribly, horribly wrong."
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ September 23, 2008
Game results and self-esteem.

"Why did I put Rhode Island at the end!?!?"
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ September 23, 2008
Playing 10 days in the U.S.A..

"Ahh!!"
"Throw in a stint in Azerbaijan, did they?"
John McCracken
"Wrong damn Georgia!"
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ September 23, 2008
Bad card draws while playing 10 Days In The U.S.A..

"You may play rugby, Adam, but the four of us can take you."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 18, 2008
Adam was out of debt while playing Redneck Life!! That just ain't right!!

"Alright, yours is bigger then mine."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ March 18, 2008
Comparing debt stacks in Redneck Life.

"I don't like being in this position! Bring Phil back!"
Kate Trippe
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ October 28, 2008
Losing at Pirate Dice.

"Well, I'll tell you what, Kate, if I was drunk enough I wouldn't care."
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ October 28, 2008
Talking about things related to drinking too much coffee.

"I'm having a hard time believing you're rolling your fixer."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ October 22, 2008
Robbing one's own contacts does not seem logical.

"Anthony made a funny, that was actually funny."
Shadows of Malta ~~ November 16, 2008
Comments on meta-game comments.

"Take that! Puttin' an end to your two card reign of terror."
Travis Meler
November 15, 2008
playing Apples to Apples - Trav finally got two cards down...

"Oh, Master McCracken! You lost your hair in battle!
But you grew some nice boobs!"
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ November 18, 2008
Kate, who had recently shaved her head as part of her Halloween costume, stands in for John in a game of Galaxy Trucker.

"Christmas comes early... around Thanksgiving!"
Merlyn Gordon
November 25, 2008
After learning that payday was early because of the long weekend...

"Hey, Giggy! I just mentally mugged that guy!"
T. Luke Renner
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 19, 2008
Referencing previous missteps on the part of the party's mage - as he was mind-linked with the Ares security mage who was trying to gather information.

"No, not a whiskey elemental, a whiskey spirit."
"What?"
"A whiskey spirit."
"Nigel's too drunk to get it."
"Or Adam's too stupid."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ November 19, 2008
bad puns in shadowrun...

"I'm either going to die or not."
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ December 16, 2008
Well, it covers the possibilities.

"So, what's the victory condition?"
Gene Ehli
"Winning."
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ December 16, 2008
Yeah, I suppose...

"Can I take that move back?"
John "Da Congressdude" Milanovich
"No."
John McCracken
"Cocksuckers."
John "Da Congressdude" Milanovich
"We're cocksuckers who didn't make a bad move, though."
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ December 16, 2008
Playing Acquire can be very competitive.

"That simplifies things. The Anglo-Saxons don't have a future."
Dr. Gwendolyn Morgan
English 489, Reading in Anglo-Saxon, MSU ~~ February 2, 1999
Conjugation and declination in a new (well, old) language.

"This is OK because she gets nasty, and I like nasty women."
Dr. Gwendolyn Morgan
English 489, Reading in Anglo-Saxon, MSU ~~ January 26, 1999
Reactions of people in our reading and translating assignments.

"It's weird to go to Minnesota."
English 489, Reading in Anglo-Saxon, MSU ~~ February 17, 1999

"I'm gonna stay with the Greeks, because the Romans corrupted everything they touched."
Dr. Gwendolyn Morgan
English 489, Reading in Anglo-Saxon, MSU ~~ February 9, 1999

"Life is accusative?"
"Life is always accusative."
Rebecca Shopfer
English 489, Reading in Anglo-Saxon, MSU ~~ February 25, 1999
More on conjugation and declension.

"Mother, can I sleep with your tonight?
All right, if you incest."
Dr. Michael Sexson
English 209, Mythological Backgrounds, MSU ~~ March 2, 1994
Paraphrasing Oedipus.

"No, I don't know why I have organic chemistry stuff in my mythology notebook. This notebook doesn't even go to organic."
English 209, Mythological Backgrounds, MSU ~~ March 2, 1994
Discovering a page of bond diagrams...

"Hey, if you wanted to, you could combine those and create a college version of that called Ramanillia!"
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ January 20, 2009
John Milanovich walked in carrying both Manilla and Ra.

"Can I eat your taco?"
Brownie Jo Knight
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ March 24, 2009
Said to Ashton about some Taco Bell food.

"The ball is now in my opponent... My opponent's court."
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ March 24, 2009
Inkognito banter.

"Much like VISA, Jakob is, yet again, everywhere people needs to be."
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ March 31, 2009
Strategy in Power Grid.

"I can do it without any robots."
Brian "The Option" Weiss
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ March 31, 2009
Alright, it was a misstatement, but this does sum up his Ricochet Robots skills pretty well.

"Is the Parcheesi?"
Sara Erickson
"No, this is hell."
Gene Ehli
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ April 28, 2009
Sara walks up to a group playing Trivial Pursuit.

"If you can repeat screaming and panting..."
Giggy [Phil DeKoning]
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 17, 2008

"It's the last one, we have to make it good. There has to be a fart joke, there has to be a shit joke, there has to be a sex joke."
T. Luke Renner
"But does there have to be a fart-shit-sex joke?"
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 17, 2008
The final day of a long campaign...

"What's a nail file?"
"You evern been in prison? It's like a shank."
The Run Down Under/Gettin' Giggy with Shadowrun ~~ December 17, 2008
the language barrier - after all these years.

"You won with an attack total of zero. You showed up and my force committed suicide!!"
"When did you become the French?"
Andy Morain
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ May 26, 2009
Military prowess in Cosmic Encounter.

"Oh, Commando Skeletons would be awesome!"
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
"Aren't all skeletons commando by definition?"
John McCracken
"Oh, Jesus, John! That's brilliant and terrible in equal measure!"
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ June 30, 2009
Combinations of race and ability in Small World.

"Yeah, Phil, you'll be on History Channel between Bigfoot: Weapons of World War II and Hitler: Wow, What A Mustache!""
Dr. Kevin "The K-Dog" Zoren Esq
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ June 30, 2009
A comment on the historical fact that Phil actually won a game.

"Everything goes clockwise except for the ones that go the other way."
Brian "The Option" Weiss
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ August 29, 2009
Brilliant, just brilliant, explanation of playing Die Macher.

"I can see why Germany turned to Fascism!"
John McCracken
Tuesday Boardgame Night ~~ August 29, 2009
Rules blunders in Die Macher.

"OK, I'm kinda getting not unpleased with this functionality."
March 11, 2010
Trying to make a real estate site that wasn't inherently unusable and annoying to site visitors.

"It's like we're coming in as the relief pitcher in the ninth inning of a football game!"
April 26, 2011
Trying to figure out how to take over someone else's development project.

"Let's not get into that debate: I might have to take both sides of it."
April 30, 2011
About whether computer science is a science or an engineering field.

"Make it more readable? But that might encourage someone to edit it."
Mike Frandsen
October 10, 2011
While editing a script.

"I don't want to explain that to Judy."
October 7, 2011
Driving a borrowed car while preparing to move a friend half way across the country.

"Now I have both radios, so I can talk to myself."
"You don't need both radios to talk to yourself."
Ann (Gangstad) Exner
October 10, 2011

"The ugly board is harder than it looks."
Tyler Broden
October 5, 2011
The rebounding of insults.

"People see us driving, and they've got to say, look, that van has a mini-me!"
Ann (Gangstad) Exner
October 9, 2011
Caravaning from Helena to Los Vegas in a Toyota Sienna Mini-Van and a matching Toyota Carolla.

"I think it's a much better show if you pretend it's not Luke Skywalker, but a young CockKnocker."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011

"This hurts my soul...even more than my jokes."
Anthony LaMonaca
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
This was in the first half hour and right before he got into the peach schnapps.

"Wookie ookie? What is a wookie ookie?"
"I'm going to say it's a depraved sex act."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ 2011
I shouldn't have asked

"International Ladies Garment Workers Union!"
December 17, 2011
We were watching the original airing...with commercials.

"Is he going to blow that mic?"

2011
Jefferson Starship had a music video in the middle of this travesty, that a very phallic,purple glowing mic.

"Dude, the guard looks like he's whacking off to this"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
2011
In response to the expression on the Imperial guard's face, who was watching the Jefferson Starship video. He also looked like he was wearing Dark Helmet's helmet.

"Well shit man! He might have had 4 hands like that asshole on the tv"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
He was speculating about the guard, we could see two hands. That 'asshole on the tv' was Harvey Korman in drag, doing an alien cooking show that involved having to stir, whip, and beat all at the same time.

"Why does it sound like it's narrated by the guy from Twilight Zone and animated by the guy who does Aeon Flux"
December 17, 2011
There was an animated story in the movie. I still don't know what it was about.

"Wow...It's Bobba Fett on a dinosaur. Your argument is invalid."
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
He's right.

"‎WTF is wrong with Han's face?"
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
Think what Indy would look like if he looked at the Arc.

"Did Luke just say we could be Facebook friends?"
Anthony LaMonaca
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
It really did sound like Luke said that.

"Hey look, it's some cops "
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
Imperial troops were trashing the tree top home of one Chewbacca, known criminal and rebel sympathizer.

"It's a Bantha sex doll."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
I don't know what it was, but that's what it looked like.

"This is now getting creepy "
Anthony LaMonaca
"Getting?!"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
That pretty much sums it up.

"It's like Max Hedron...but stupid. "
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
In response to Harvey Korman's robot how to video. He had like 4 characters.

"‎Meanwhile, back at Swiss Family Robinsons."
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
Apparently the Swiss Family Robinsons took architecture lessons from Wookies.

"It's a Star Wars version of Jersey Shore"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
There was a fake commercial advertising a reality show set on Tatooine and how we should all feel better that we don't live there.

"You're old and you're done"
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
My explanation to Lloyd as to why I cut him off. He wanted more Vodka.

"It's the Cantina theme as a dirge and Bea Arthur is singing!"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
Maude as a bartender at the Mos Eisly cantina...what else can I say.

"Are Donny and Marie brother and sister, married, or both?"
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
I'm not sure how we got to this subject.

"They needed filler?! It's all fucking filler. It's like a pie"
Anthony LaMonaca
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
It took like 12 minutes of film time for Bea Arthurs song and closing down the cantina.

"This is no longer Empire TV...is it?"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
Lloyd was too drunk to tell the difference between fake commercials and the 1978 originals.

"‎WOOKIE SEX!"

Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
Chewbacca staring lovingly into the eyes of his wife...

"This is what happens when the Empire can't reach you on your cell phone."
December 17, 2011
Your CO puts a public APB out on you telling you to turn your communicator on.

"Was there a plot here?"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
The movie was almost over and we didn't know.

"Why are the wookies going to carousel?"
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
Red robes, bad animation, and Carrie Fisher signing...you explain it.

"When did you sell your soul, C3-PO"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
Even then he was hawking the merchandise.

"Dude, the guard looks like he's whacking off to this"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Star Wars Holiday Special 2011 ~~ December 17, 2011
Imperials really really like Jefferson Starship.

"Gimps don't need love, they have the bag."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
December 31, 2011
What a great comment to close out the year.

"What comes after eleven?"
"Thirty-five."
Dustin Kane
"We do our math weird..."
Nicole Brown
Keith's ShadowRun One-Shots ~~ February 18, 2012
Counting initiative for a game where one person was much faster than everyone else...

"So RAD stands for Really Awful Dysentery?"
"I think that was more due to it being the Conageddon..."
March 6, 2012
In reference to the stomach bug that went around after RadCon 6 in 2012.

"Maybe if I saw it, I'd remember if I'd seen it. But I don't want to risk seeing it."
May 4, 2012
About the Star Wars Holiday Special.

"He's a spic? I thought he was a wood elf!"
Brook Stevens
May 24, 2012
Getting ready for MisCon 26.

"You rub the Kobold."
Aliera [KT Andersen]
Crimson Foam - AD&D 3.5 ~~ September 22, 2013
Who gets to perform first aid on the injured party member. Apparently not the gnome.

"You tried to put a sickle in her kiester!"
Steven Thompson
"Girls don't like that."
KT Andersen
Crimson Foam - AD&D 3.5 ~~ October 6, 2013
Why the bandit leader was upset with the ranger...


You may:
  1. Search our Information Repository OR
  2. View all the Quotes (this will take a while to load and format...) OR
  3. You can more random quotes on this page.
  4. Check out Other People's Quotes and Humorous Pages.

Acknowledgments:

Thanks to: Everyone Quoted

Contributors:
Carrie Jones, Phil DeKoning, Chris Jones, Clacy Olson, Aaron Benner, Norah Esty and Brandon Sonderegger.

Database Maintenance:
Keith Seyffarth, Clacy Olson, and Carrie Jones

Page Design:
Keith Seyffarth

This page last modified: May 08 2013 07:38:58pm

If you have trouble, you can email weif at weif.net (Keith Seyffarth).

Page and content © 2014 Keith Seyffarth et al.


You now have the option to submit a quote. Be forewarned that mere submission of a quote does not guarantee that it will be included in the quotes page.

Viewable With Any Browser