"...But, if you already have Macs, why did you get a machine to run Windows? The Mac is so much nicer!"
Microsoft Customer Support
March 1, 1996
at 3:45pm, MDT. I had been trying unsuccessfully to get Windows to install on a 486 for the Instructional Computing Lab on the MSU campus. This was the most helpful part of the help from the MS support team.
"Imagine your right hand is a wooden dowel, or even your right
hand..."
Everything looks the same to a physicist?
"Most people don't think that cool code is better than sex."
"Are you sure? Try comparing the amount of time and energy one puts into writing cool code to the amount one puts into getting laid."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Computer Science 222, Computer Science II, MSU ~~ 1992
Differences of opinion, I guess.
"I'm a mathematician; I'm not good with numbers."
Paul Johansen
Um, right.
"You guys are supposed to find the application for this...I'm just a
mathematician."
Paul Johansen
Passing the buck.
"If he lies down on one nail...it's a bad day."
In reference to the 'bed of nails' trick...
"But, if you're aware of the physics, you're not screwed up, you're
just confused."
"When I found out that 10 was greater than 5..."
Computer Science 222, Computer Science II, MSU ~~ 1992
"They call it Food Service so I'm assuming there is food around here
somewhere."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
"Does that mean there is some service around, too?"
Ellen Kress
1992
At MSU Food Service...
"There are no chickens in the fish tank, Jeff. You can't fool me."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
1992
to Jeff Abelin
"My breasts will be much better in the future."
Jeff Abelin
October 28, 1992
About his Halloween costume.
"And you indicate the end of a proof with the term q. e. d.
--it's just some Latin term."
Computer Science 222, Computer Science II, MSU ~~ 1992
"Males come in two varieties; color-blind and normal."
Dr. Ernest Vyse
...about phenotype differentiation...
"When you add up a lot of small numbers, you eventually get a pretty
good-sized number."
Biochemistry 340, General Biochemistry, MSU ~~ 1993
"Even ecologists throw out results that are below 0.01."
Dr. Ernest Vyse
"I sure hope God understands that this is just for class discussion."
Dr. Shelley Miller
University Honors 401, Honors Seminar, MSU ~~ 1993
"Do you like your wilderbeast rare, medium, or well-rotted?"
Dr. Lynn Irby
... on hyena's dietary habits.
"We have a decrease in the rate of the increase of the population due
to an increase in population."
on population dynamics
"We see a lot of populations trendeling to level off."
on population dynamics (trendeling?)
"...Now, a fire also happened here, but lets focus on the
Porcupine..."
on disturbance ond community structure
"...This chewing is definitely a disturbance, since it brings about a
change of states from dead tree to living tree..."
on disturbance and community structure
"...make them less reactive than before, that's pretty
non-reactive..."
Dr. Arnold Craig
about Benzene reactions
"Now, you don't break the C-O sigma bond, or the O-H sigma
bond... well, you do break the O-H sigma bond, because you have to..."
Dr. Arnold Craig
on alcohol reactions
"If you don't have it in your mind, you'll have nightmares about it."
Dr. Arnold Craig
on reactivity
"I like spontaneity, I never know what's going to come out of the
chalk!"
Dr. Arnold Craig
on Synthesis
"...They have to wrestle with one whole set of reactions behind their
back..."
Dr. Arnold Craig
about the TAs
"A very interesting guy who we don't have to talk about right now."
Dr. Arnold Craig
on Gabriel reactions
"...And because Benjamin is a dead white European male, we just
believe him..."
on electricity
"...but you can't repel without a cause, even if you are James Dean."
on electric forces
"...it was a big quarrel...it was lots of fun!"
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Humanities 201, Introduction to Feminist Theories and Methodologies, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
"And the penis is also a greeting device."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Humanities 201, Introduction to Feminist Theories and Methodologies, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
discussing hyenas.
"We do not know, when we walk into the sub, which women are
ovulating."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Humanities 201, Introduction to Feminist Theories and Methodologies, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
about non-verbal forms of communication in animals.
"...then she says 'I want to help the little children with AIDS,' and
so we know she's current."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Humanities 201, Introduction to Feminist Theories and Methodologies, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
about foot binding and the Miss America contest.
"Let's talk about these fallacies ...[pause]... I like to call them
'phallusies!'"
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Humanities 201, Introduction to Feminist Theories and Methodologies, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
"I have very few quarrels, and that's not like me."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Humanities 201, Introduction to Feminist Theories and Methodologies, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
"I can see all the way around this jar and under it and she wants me."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Humanities 201, Introduction to Feminist Theories and Methodologies, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
explaining Freud on Dora
"Charlie is ...[pause]... absolutely ...[pause]... somebody else ..."
Beth Mentzer
"Hysteria is a fun condition to deal with."
Mike Miles
University Honors 201, Texts & Critics: Knowledge, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
On 'Dora'
"I saw this plaque, and it said 'Home of Sigmund Freud,' and that was
Freud's house."
Mike Miles
University Honors 201, Texts & Critics: Knowledge, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
on his travels in Austria
"The dreams were kind of crazy - this was in the sixties."
Mike Miles
University Honors 201, Texts & Critics: Knowledge, MSU ~~ Fall 1994
"Bright kid, she died of Leukemia three years later, but that doesn't
matter..."
Dr. Doug Herbster
Education, Curriculum & Instruction 209, Educational Psychology & Human Development, Adolescence, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
"Starve to death and die of starvation..."
"It also became 'Patriarchyalized' --if that's a word, which it isn't
because I just invented it..."
"The poor guy had a canary."
"Break up with her right before her birthday, and she'll more than
likely kill you."
"...Are you busy on Thursday? I wanna pine."
about propriety in romantic triangles in midieval literature.
"...not that you should do that sort of thing, but it's a good
thought."
Dr. Calvin Kaya
"My arm makes a terrible fish, but you get the idea."
Dr. Calvin Kaya
after demonstrating anguliform locomotion with his arm...
"Tuna biologists divide the world of fishes into two groups: Tunas and
Not Tunas."
Dr. Calvin Kaya
on Tuna Biologists
"We, as biologists, are interested in special modifications because
they are so neat."
Dr. Calvin Kaya
"Sphincter muscles, we use them al the time."
Dr. Calvin Kaya
"You pull a trout out from ten meters down and it's unhappy."
Dr. Calvin Kaya
on presurization in deep water.
"Now, if you're not convinced by my explanation, then you'll just have
to take my word for it."
Dr. Calvin Kaya
"She used that word, 'Good Human Being,' yeah, that was the word."
Dr. Doug Herbster
Education, Curriculum & Instruction 209, Educational Psychology & Human Development, Adolescence, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
"Now, I have a story to tell you about that."
Dr. Doug Herbster
Education, Curriculum & Instruction 209, Educational Psychology & Human Development, Adolescence, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
if you've had a class from Herbster, you'll understand...
"Don't start to think that this repeating stuff is because I'm getting
senile, because maybe I am, but this is on purpose."
Dr. Doug Herbster
Education, Curriculum & Instruction 209, Educational Psychology & Human Development, Adolescence, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
"Oh, Herbster, why don't you get a kinesthetic learner to do this
role-playing crap?"
Andrea
Education, Curriculum & Instruction 209, Educational Psychology & Human Development, Adolescence, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
"They can push our apple pie buttons and we have to watch that our
apple pie buttons don't get pushed."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Religious Studies 204, Old Testament, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
about getting upset when religious, social, or patriotic views are called into question
"It's a post-spelling generation."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Religious Studies 204, Old Testament, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
on the inability of people to spell now that spell checkers are built into everything...
"Yuggthh... Icky... ...[pause]... That means 'Icky.'"
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Religious Studies 204, Old Testament, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
"Just this couple who was trying to get dressed ...[pause]... and have
sex."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Religious Studies 204, Old Testament, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
on the Adam & Eve story...
"That's how important it is, you have to have it a number of times;
like the creation of the world."
Dr. Lynda Sexson
Religious Studies 204, Old Testament, MSU ~~ Fall 1995
on repetition of stories in religious texts.
"The present world is much more immediate."
Dr. Michael Becker
"When we talk about flatness and one dimensionality, we're talking
about Chaucer."
Dr. Michael Becker
about Geoffery Chaucer and The Canterbury Tales
"You don't have to be a perverted Freudian."
Dr. Michael Becker
"Oh, it's a beautiful line, but you'll just have to trust me."
Dr. Michael Becker
about a line of poetry that wasn't in his notes
"This period has very little going on, except they killed the King."
Dr. Michael Becker
"I couldn't tell you what we studied, but it was interesting."
Dr. Michael Becker
About traveling in the U.K. as a grrad student
"I want to do a poem anyway."
Dr. Michael Becker
"Romantic means dying young ...[pause]... preferably of TB."
Dr. Michael Becker
"...in less than a little over a hundred years..."
Dr. Michael Becker
"...and so Hamlet says in... in... well, I guess Hamlet..."
Dr. Michael Becker
"Wordsworth didn't invent childhood, Rousseau did."
Dr. Michael Becker
"There is only one complex number whose modulus is zero, namely zero."
"I think I can talk through this proof in just a couple of minutes."
"This theorem looks like ...[pause]... it's spelled wrong."
"Can't we just pull it outside of the integral sign?"
Physics Student
"You're in the wrong building to be doing that kind of thing."
In reference to integrating an infinite sum
"The obvious things are the hardest things to prove, I think."
"This would be chapter five now?"
Student
"Oh, I don't know."
Where were we?
"So, all of this is very simple."
"It is one because it's not because it would be one if it didn't."
"So, think of z as being a number."
"It's important that these yellow curves be circles."
"There is some slop allowed but just certain kinds of slop."
"Just imagine there being a hole there of radius zero."
"I just drew a nice pink one because if we were going to calculate all
those integrals, we'd want a nice pink one."
"So, this was just a foolish little manipulation."
"I want to keep that number unmolested out here."
"I'm weirder than Keith?!?"
Simon Westlake
April 16, 2001
"You should all be reading this book; you know you can read books."
"There are no biologists in here so I can lie to you."
"A reasonable thing ... if you think about what's going on in a
chemo-stat."
"Yeah, they present it differently because they present it correctly
and I don't."
"We'll assume this mess is continuous."
"It's not an easy thing to do but it's a real problem."
"...general 2nd order LINEAR equation..."
"In reality, your rod is not infinite. But, maybe your rod looks like
it's infinite depending on what you're modeling."
"Maybe I've got an infinite tube here and somehow I can inject some
dye..."
In regards to real applications of what we're studying.
"Now, the proof of this is really simple. We'll do that next time."
"Yeah, I got 'em backwards on the board."
"No, no, no! This doesn't work for every PDE!!!"
The innocent little student has his question answered rather
emphatically.
"This is the idea. That mess is a trick."
"I can't find this in the book. Let me do this real quick... I'm
going to do something really simple and it really probably doesn't
make any sense."
"I'm not even going to non-dimensionalize it. I'm going to be bad."
"If you're given any arbitrary boundary conditions, you can actually
trade them in for this kind... I actually lied."
"You take this guess and you shove it into the PDE."
"I already know that v=0 is a solution. That's not interesting."
"How do you figure out what the B's are? Well, if everything's nice
in the world then..."
"I can actually show you how you can make up your own theorems."
Excitement for the true mathematicians...
"You can study these Sturm-Liouville problems for the rest of your
life, if you'd like. --Some people do that."
"If it is positive, it is going to kill anything like that."
"This crap over here depends on f."
"I want to rewrite this thing a clever way."
"It's a finite sum. There's no sleight of hand here."
"When all the smoke settles, this turns out to be something kind of
neat."
"I guess it's such a neat trick that it gets its own name."
"If you decide to stay in math... I hope I don't discourage you from
that..."
"The g thing is going to be all of this junk."
"See, I've told you that applied math is nothing more than integration
by parts and Cramer's Rule."
"Almost anything I write down, you won't be able to integrate,
differentiate, ..."
"And, I haven't done anything, O.K.?"
"Or, like in quantum mechanics with particles moving in a
1-dimensional line... I don't want to talk about that."
"This is an easy calculation. I don't know why they don't do it in
the book."
"Then, you can just program this into the computer and ask for a
solution. Or get someone to program this on the computer if you have
an aversion to computers."
"You don't even know what these functions are. They just exist."
"The hypotheses will not be satisfied but the result in the end will
be the right answer."
"But, if we stick to the letter of the law, we are going to get
tickets here."
"So, what are we going to do here? Foobineate!"
"We ought to justify this but we can't so we'll just do it."
"Cross my fingers, hope that disappears."
"I like my breasts! We've bonded!"
Dawn Stief
January 22, 1996
"Why can't I find the Chapter on Zen?"
Sarah Hall
Spring 1995
"What's spooge?"
"What is spooge anyway?"
Spring 1996
"Look, you need to pay attention to this, this is important.
...[pause]... What was I talking about?"
Linda Cimikowski
Education, Curriculum & Instruction 320, Foundations of Instructional Computing, MSU ~~ Spring 1996
"Well, that looked like a content smudge on there... [pause] ...I'm not sure if 'content smudge' is the correct technical term."
April 19, 2001
about a CDR
"So, we can consider ourselves roughly as light-bulbs."
Rand Swanson
1994
"If it's not ohms, I don't understand it."
Rand Swanson
1994
"Put your crowbar back in your pants"
Eric Beckman
Mythus ~~ Fall 1995
to Phil
"I eat man-flesh!"
Lindsay Jones
March 12, 1996
When asked if she was currently a practicing vegetarian.
"That's why I like fish... They don't get mad at you if you don't
feed them, They just die!"
Jeff Rangitsch
May 14, 1996
"OK, What's tan?"
Gene Frank
July 5, 1996
"The pair of you grinned like a couple of Jones clones."
Brian Van Vleet
1996
"I tried to say 'Hi,' but it didn't come out very well when I was trying to spit."
May 6, 2001
"I'm wearing a wet suit, you're wearing a truck!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
Shadowrun ~~ Fall 1995
"Starvation 10 death."
Sierra (Stoneberg) Holt
1995
"Oh! Did I forget to mention the bad Guys?"
Aaron Benner
Shadowrun ~~ Fall 1995
"Normally before I come up to get a back-rub from you Chris, I
REMOVE articles of clothing."
Fall 1995
"I don't know how they keep working as long as they do. No, it's
really amazing how subtle they are and what they can put up with. A
miracle of Biochemistry."
Dr. Victor Raboy
1995
"What? Undergrads?"
Sierra (Stoneberg) Holt
1996
"In the immortal words of Verna... Dammit."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
1996
"Being an engineer on a starship is much cooler than being an engineer on Earth."
Dave "of Dave's Hair" Balhinger
Fall 1995
About his potential career compared to Star Trek...
"Does it taste like Chicken?"
Mr. . "Verna's Dad" Askins
Spring 1996
about Carrie
"I think Microsoft's crappy products wouldn't piss me off so much, if they just all had the same crappiness, so you could deal with it."
June 2, 2006
Differences between the HTML incompatabilities in Outlook and Internet Explorer.
"Women are good in theory."
Dave "of Dave's Hair" Balhinger
Fall 1995
"Shut up! You're dead!"
Jerry Malcomson
Shadowrun ~~ July 5, 1996
"I'm unconscious, you fool!"
Jason McGrody
Dungeons & Dragons ~~ Summer 1996
when his D&D character was asked --by the person that knocked him out-- for help
"I'm not saying anything about her that I don't mean."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
July 19, 1996
"If it's a non-cybered, non-awakened gopher it could."
Shadowrun ~~ July 5, 1996
as to whether some wildlife could get through a detection grid
"I'm listening to my shoe!"
Jerry Malcomson
Shadowrun ~~ July 5, 1996
"It's too expensive to be really cheap."
Gene Frank
August 14, 1996
"It isn't like automatic, not like a vending machine that you have the
key to."
Gene Frank
August 21, 1996
about "getting lucky" with one's
wife
"Then it occurred to me that life is just like a bunch of bad rock
videos..."
August 21, 1996
"If you don't do anything wrong, you can't make mistakes."
Donald Seyffarth
August 30, 1996
"I'm going to tell you a story now, but it's not funny."
Anthony LaMonica
August 31, 1996
"I just fed the acorns another squirrel"
Aaron Benner
September 1, 1996
about his car
"Sometimes incense boxes smell really good, and other times they smell
like dirty shoes."
September 20, 1996
"I can see Josh's psyche crumbling under the sheer weight of
chocolate."
September 24, 1996
"We have to watch out that we don't get too big, or we might get
slowed down by the speed of light."
August 20, 1996
"Brandon asked me why I worked for the gnomes, and I told him, 'The
gnomes have money.'"
September 25, 1996
"Between the two of us, we can be a financial disaster!"
Verna (Askins) Benner
August 25, 1996
"I could get away with only a 4 gig drive."
Aaron Benner
September 17, 1996
Remember - in 1996 4 gig was enormous...
"What's the weapon speed on a Monk?"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
Dungeons & Dragons ~~ Fall 1994
"I smoke like a turkey."
Aaron Benner
September 26, 1996
"I know what's wrong, it's working, that's what's wrong."
Commadore Peaster
October 3, 1996
"Now, who am I here?"
Aaron Benner
September 26, 1996
About one of the many terminal windows on his desktop...
"That's just Microsoft trying to be smart."
Commadore Peaster
October 3, 1996
"It's like your brain slips to one side and then your head gets
heavy."
Serita Kimm
October 8, 1996
"That's dangerous for a reason."
Lee Bradshaw
October 12, 1996
"Am I missing the boat for the forest?"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
October 10, 1996
"...They go to confession and pretend to have guilt."
Jennifer Nichols
October 14, 1996
"It's rather like wrapping yourself in Saran Wrap and screaming
'Hit me you evil bastard'"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ October 10, 1996
"Fortunately, I am a looser."
Tyson Trebesch
December 11, 1996
"Stinky-butt Zebra, kinda like Good-Times Barbie, but not as much fun
to play with."
Aaron Benner
December 3, 1996
"It's not like I'm a moron who doesn't know what a com port is..."
Tyson Trebesch
December 5, 1996
"If there's a beauty to Windows 3.11, its that you can tell the
mouse where to load."
Tyson Trebesch
December 12, 1996
"If I wasn't so stupid, I'd be smarter."
Tyson Trebesch
December 16, 1996
"I go 'bugga-bugga-bugga' and run away a little."
Shadowrun ~~ January 10, 1997
"You scum-bag. That's very clever."
Tyson Trebesch
January 3, 1997
"What do you call violence? Exploding surveillance men?"
Shadowrun ~~ February 7, 1997
"Dammit, I just had a thought."
Aaron Benner
Shadowrun ~~ January 24, 1997
"It is now safe to through your computer off a cliff."
Tyson Trebesch
January 22, 1997
about the shutdown message in Windows 95
"Look mom, a spinach penny!"
Philip Frank
January 14, 1997
... his first experience with Canadian coinage.
"Damn, but I should have bought some ammo..."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Shadowrun ~~ January 24, 1997
"I hate when artifacts of my reference frame fling things about."
Aaron Benner
January 18, 1997
"Some days I wish I had the Brain Power of a Cray computer, other days
I just wish I had the brain power of a gopher."
Tyson Trebesch
January 14, 1997
"The important thing is it hurts and it didn't work, now can we move
on..."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Shadowrun ~~ February 7, 1997
"Just a sec..., I'm trying to figure out how to type the word
'worldwide'"
January 30, 1997
"Wow! And I only had to rebuild one part of the Alaska Coast line from
memory."
Aaron Benner
January 16, 1997
about scanned imagery for web sites
"I'm a real man, I can make my own Puff Pastry!"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
May 22, 2001
in the freezer department of a local grocery store.
"You can't just demand $25,000 from the secretary at 9:30am."
Brenda Kruzik
June 9, 1997
"If you're trying to be sexy and the guy is writhing in pain, may be
you're doing something wrong."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
February 12, 1997
"I was trying to bring it back to life when I accidentally ripped it
in half."
Gwen Jones
December 14, 1996
trying to fix the centerpieces at the company christmas party
"You do physics stuff in physics lab, but you don't do physics
lab stuff in physics lab."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
June 16, 1997
"You clap after they all come in and sit down without falling over."
Aaron Benner
April 11, 1997
at a MSU Orchestra concert
"Clap until the conductor flees in terror."
April 11, 1997
at a MSU Orchestra concert
"You can get leverage later."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
May 10, 1997
"...Except for the part about almost getting stabbed with a
helecoptor..."
Shadowrun ~~ May 10, 1997
"What's 5% of lots & lots?"
Shadowrun ~~ June 16, 1997
He is referencing Steven Brust's Dragerea novels.
"I would like to inform you that you are fighting the magical force of
the universe..."
Aaron Benner
"You might want to blow your Karma pool for this..."
Shadowrun ~~ May 16, 1997
"Travel! See The World! Loose an Appendage!"
Lost Boy [Anthony LaMonica]
Shadowrun ~~ May 21, 1997
"You can't outrun a mountain, so you may as well wait for it."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Shadowrun ~~ May 21, 1997
"I decided to bullshit with the spirit of the land."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Shadowrun ~~ May 21, 1997
"When I use a word, it means exactly what I intend it to mean."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
April 12, 1997
"Well, his staff was fun to dance with."
Silk [Quint Ringsak]
Shadowrun ~~ April 14, 1997
her responce when asked how she felt about having danced with the group's mage...
"Thanks for warming up my staff for me."
Maquis [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
Shadowrun ~~ April 14, 1997
Having just had someone dance with his staff...
"I just go around stroking my beard and looking wise from time to
time."
Maquis [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
Shadowrun ~~ May 14, 1997
"I don't know anything, do you want me to come over and talk about
it?"
Maquis [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
Shadowrun ~~ May 21, 1997
"Am I smart enough to go sit down in the limo before I go to
Valhalla?"
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
Shadowrun ~~ May 14, 1997
realizing that his character had just been slipped a mickey by another character...
"I ignore him, he didn't have anything interesting to say in life."
Paul [Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.]
Shadowrun ~~ June 21, 1997
having just encountered the astral presence that had formerly been Maquis...
"You were in a class with She Who Will Not Be Named... not that I'm still bitter..."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
March 6, 1997
"The more detail there is, the more liable it is to blow up."
Shadowrun ~~ March 16, 1997
about the usefulness in planning a Shadowrun.
"Now I stand up and collapse."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Shadowrun ~~ March 23, 1997
getting events in the right order
"Excuse me, I think my friend is being mauled..."
Paul [Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.]
Shadowrun ~~ January 22, 1997
"It sounds like 70's music."
Anthony LaMonica
"Except it has different instrumentation and a beat."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
February 11, 1997
about some band's distinctive sound
"Freeze, put your hands up, you won the lottery."
Lost Boy [Anthony LaMonica]
Shadowrun ~~ April 16, 1997
the briefest overview of the plan to get a surveilance location
"Why do we want to wear stockings?... Oh, you mean on our heads."
Christa [Scott "Dark Scott" Proper]
Shadowrun ~~ January 11, 1997
the meaning of the plan just sank in...
"The garbage can should not say things like that."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Shadowrun ~~ May 16, 1997
"He's achieving oneness with his magic fingers."
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Shadowrun ~~ May 16, 1997
about Maquis
"This is my dumb question..."
Rev. E. Lloyd Olson Esq.
June 21, 1997
"Thank God I'm retarded!"
Brenda Kruzik
May 15, 1997
"Can you make a birthday cake out of salt?"
Susie Love
March 2, 1997
"I just don't have the honey coated voice I need to talk to morons."
Tyson Trebesch
March 2, 1997
"If you're very, very lucky, you get to swim in lava."
Tyson Trebesch
March 2, 1997
about Quake
"You type faster than I can think."
Tyson Trebesch
March 7, 1997
Watching Aaron Type
"We've upped our rates, now up yours."
Tyson Trebesch
March 15, 1997
"My title doesn't mean anything; I just do the same stuff from a different room!"
Tyson Trebesch
May 16, 1997
"Aaron's large, he has the static inertia of a Sherman Tank."
Tyson Trebesch
March 20, 1997
"I'm bad at telling jokes I dont' know."
Tyson Trebesch
March 20, 1997
"I feel better now that I don't have to throw up any more."
Tyson Trebesch
April 7, 1997
"She needs a DMA channel so she can think and talk at the same time."
Tyson Trebesch
April 16, 1997
"I'm entirely too patient with idiots."
Tyson Trebesch
April 19, 1997
"I just chewed a hole the size of Nebraska in my cheek."
Tyson Trebesch
April 19, 1997
"If your head weren't so tall..."
Tyson Trebesch
June 19, 1997
"It's like playing basketball with a watermelon, it works for a while..."
Tyson Trebesch
February 6, 1997
"One of these days, this is going to work."
Greag Johnson
April 15, 1997
"Cute little magical sperm floating in my eyes."
Darin Bessler
March 11, 1997
"Rub me! I grow!"
Darin Bessler
April 9, 1997
"All right, fine, I'm gonna be a good geek."
Aaron Benner
April 9, 1997
"You can completely ignore it and it's still entertaining."
Aaron Benner
March 17, 1997
about television
"It's still dark, but it's still lilty."
Aaron Benner
June 14, 1997
about the music that was playing
"Just go to your office and play with your Newton™"
Tyson Trebesch
June 14, 1997
"I need more than a banana!"
Chris Erlien
July 12, 1997
about breakfast
"You want to approach from the 'not-so-pointy' end"
Scott "Great Scott" Furois
Spring 1997
"Did I just spew forth a bunch of meaningless techno-babble?"
Summer 1997
Probably. Sounds like me.
"They will be happy to take all the money you've ever seen then
consider installing digital phone lines."
Fall 1997
"I think we should get chips, but I want to call them soap."
Summer 1997
It had been a really long day, and I was having problems shopping...
"It's all academic; it's all guesswork in a white coat."
Tyson Trebesch
July 2, 1997
"You can't wear your Freudian slip with black nylons."
Steve Hermanson
July 2, 1997
"Electrons are our friends, because they're small and cute."
Dr. Richard Peterson
Spring 1996
"Don't you laugh at my chicken!"
Ann (Gangstad) Exner
May 26, 2001
"It's a really simple modulation... Well, It's kinda a complicated
one."
Commadore Peaster
July 7, 1997
"NO MORE JAEGERMEISTER."
Tune Vo
July 10, 1997
"Life is good... [pause] with air conditioning."
Tony "Bulldog" Loftsgaarden
July 16, 1997
"But he's employed by Microsoft, they have a different
definition of works than the rest of the world."
July 22, 1997
"In life, it is much easier to push yourself a little bit more each
day than to have someone else bite you in the ass occasionally."
Tyson Trebesch
July 21, 1997
"I'm just looking at the peacock feathers."
Dan Donnelly
August 29, 1989
Having recently walked in on a heated discussion between a creationist and an evolutionist.
"See, I don't have to get drunk to be stupid!"
Verna (Askins) Benner
August 17, 1997
"There comes a point where you throw out a little and you're hip, or
you throw out a lot and you're a geek"
Darin Bessler
August 26, 1997
"Sometimes on this quotes page, you get really cool quotes, and
sometimes you just get kinda dumb ones."
August 27, 1997
"I am YULE SECTRIS the paraplegic! Do not cross me, or you will feel
my wrath!"
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"That's right buckaroos, I want your toenail clippings too."
Noron [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"Put your spell points down and step away from the captured elf!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"Visualize whirled Subatai."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"I wonder if Thor's mom ever said 'Have fun storming the
castle'?"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"Turn your friends over to the evil demon lord, win fabulous prizes! Go on long trips, visit relatives you haven't seen in
years... mainly because they're dead!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"He is not even wearing spandex!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
about a recently materialized demon
"My God, we're being attacked by the Keebler Elves!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"We all need to be a little goofy, so we don't get depressed when all
our characters get slaughtered."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"You all just start meditating and hit the resonance frequency of the
universe. Sory, thank you for playing."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"Subatai: the Buckaneer!"
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"That was an unusual botch; you summon Helen Shapiro, shaved with a
dead pig."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"Tae, the light particle."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"It'd be like a red neck dance, but with people dying."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"...and then a dragon will swoop down and say 'Pardon me, but would
you care for a spot of tea?' And God knows, you can't get rid of a
dragon once you've given them snapdragon cookies!"
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"So, we're talking total plot-tonic reversal! Imagine all the plot
points reversing and exploding at the speed of light. We could be
talking about the end of Harn."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
Someone had recently watched Ghost Busters.
"Dark god de-cloaking off the starboard bow."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997
"Suddenly, you're squished."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
"What?!?"
"So, YOU can bench press 40,000 pounds?"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997
about the orientation of the wall that the mage had just created.
"Draw a party..."
"Okay, here's the keg..."
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"I'm on a mission to deflower as many machines as I can with NetBSD."
June 19, 2001
"So, what you're telling me is that I have to go in to the manager's office tomorrow morning and tell him that we have the software, but it's still in kindergarten?"
June 27, 2001
"Tae has a toupee?"
"No, she has a Tae-pee."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"He [Thalnakal] won't like the paths of the dead."
"Neither will I!"
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"Okay, on six the guys at the table stand..."
"Oh, I dare them."
Gusar [Greg Schneider]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996
"Here Cthulu, have a seat, your table is ready!"
"Cthulu's table is always ready"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996
"Fella?"
"My God, you've run into Sylvan, the supply clerk!"
Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996
"Oh, I won't be sleeping tonight, I'll be with the princesses."
Elen [Sierra (Stoneberg) Holt]
"Well, if you need a tag team, let me know."
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996
"Look, immortal is one thing, death is another."
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997
"But uncle Minarsis, I wanted to go to the con and start a war!"
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997
...as Luke Skywalker.
"We mean you no Harn."
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996
"-WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM!-
NIY! Quit that shuffling of papers and open the door."
NIY! Quit that shuffling of papers and open the door."
Subatai [Brandon "Julio" Sonderegger]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996
"Can I have some crossbow bolts?"
Elrock [Chris "Jones" Jones]
"Sure, you get a quiver full of bolts with the Dwarven runes for Yule
Sectris on them."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996
Someone plays too much nethack...
"I think most of the group has minor mental problems."
"Minor?! What do you mean, MINOR?!"
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997
"Remember when Elen was captured by the Priests of Naveh? Well, this is worse: I've been captured by the IRS!"
Dard [Jason McGrody]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"I get it! Valdis was a cross-dresser!"
Dard [Jason McGrody]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"We're not paranoid; there really are people out to get us!"
Dard [Jason McGrody]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"When my mom called me in for dinner... she didn't send a DRAGON after
me!"
Dard [Jason McGrody]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996
"It's Tae time."
Dard [Jason McGrody]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996
"I am mortally afraid of Death."
Dard [Jason McGrody]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Winter 1996
"So, where's the nearest town with an inn that we haven't blown up?"
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"Keith, that's not a list of occupations, that's schitzophrenia."
John Parkes
June 27, 2001
"Next time we meet a dragon, Please, PLEASE don't go insane."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997
"I'm from a Shek-Pevar pantry."
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997
We're sure she meant Chantry...
"I like to pay attention when she's playing the harp, just in case
anything blows up!"
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Spring 1997
"Our attack party worked together like well-oiled Tupperware."
Elen [Sierra (Stoneberg) Holt]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"Don't whine, you're the GM!"
Sierra (Stoneberg) Holt
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"Dragon Tupperware parties? I don't want to deal with it."
Elen [Sierra (Stoneberg) Holt]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~~ Fall 1996
"Subatai, go and pretend to be a barbarian horde!"
Tae [Carrie (Bowen) Jones]
The King's Jesters - Harnmaster ~